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So I am trying the online dating and emailed back and forth with a man who had a decent profile with substance, I can be very picky. He asked to meet for a drink and that turned to lunch. I enjoyed myself and he was easy to get along with, pleasant, cheerful and seemed to have many good qualities. I thought we had good chemistry. At the end of the meal, the waitress came and brought over the check and handed it to him. I asked him if he wanted me to pay my share, he smiled and asked me is this a date. I wasn't sure but thought it was.
I haven't dated in over a decade, I was married and then was in a relationship with one man who I met through work but that didn't work out, we were compatible. I took time to work on myself and have remained single, but feel now I am ready to meet someone to have fun with and wouldn't mind having an exclusive relationship.
I am not sure what the proper response would have been, did I say or do something offensive?
That's a weird position he put you in, at least he smiled which would lead me to believe he WANTED you to say it was a date and he planned on paying.
It sounds like a date to me - and a good sign that the drink turned into lunch (btw, what time was this drink?!). Some will make a big deal out of it and say you should have at least offered to pay but even if I'd planned to, him making that comment would likely have convinced me to let him pay to confirm that it was indeed a "date" and that there was romantic interest on my part. Also, it wasn't a huge expenditure for him and it went well so not a wasted "investment". Good luck!
You did nothing wrong, and it was very nice of you to offer to pay your share. No worries. If it were me (I'm a guy), I would have never asked the question, "Is this a date". I would have just paid the entire bill anyway, plus the guy asked you to meet.
I asked him if he wanted me to pay my share, he smiled and asked me is this a date. I wasn't sure but thought it was.
It was a misstep for him to ask that, even though it was probably innocent, because it put you on the spot.
One way you could have salvaged it, after he asked, "Is this a date?," would be to say something flirty like, "I'd call it a successful meet-up ... with potential ..." and then add, " ... and I'd love to pay my share this time." Then put your money on the table.
That way you've covered your bases and left an opening for one of you to treat next time.
I wouldn't worry about this one and definitely see where things go from here.
He asked you out for drinks (which got upgraded to a meal) and then he expected to pay for everything. He then asked you (after you offered to pay your share) if you guys were on a date. It could be that your offer to pay your share made him question whether you were into him or not. There are some women who don't wish to accept any gifts (including free meals) from a man that she doesn't plan on seeing again.
When he asked you that question, you could've simply said "Yes, in my mind this was a wonderful date". At that point, your intentions about offering to pay your share would have been more clear to him.
So I am trying the online dating and emailed back and forth with a man who had a decent profile with substance, I can be very picky. He asked to meet for a drink and that turned to lunch. I enjoyed myself and he was easy to get along with, pleasant, cheerful and seemed to have many good qualities. I thought we had good chemistry. At the end of the meal, the waitress came and brought over the check and handed it to him. I asked him if he wanted me to pay my share, he smiled and asked me is this a date. I wasn't sure but thought it was.
I haven't dated in over a decade, I was married and then was in a relationship with one man who I met through work but that didn't work out, we were compatible. I took time to work on myself and have remained single, but feel now I am ready to meet someone to have fun with and wouldn't mind having an exclusive relationship.
I am not sure what the proper response would have been, did I say or do something offensive?
Personally, I think it’s weird to ask someone “Do you want me to pay my share?” if that’s what you actually said. When you make a gesture towards your purse, they’ll let you know if they don’t want you to pay your share.
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