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I think you should stop expecting to meet up now and just wait to try harder until you move down there.
Keep it casual, once-in-a-while communication right now, but no romantic expectations. I would not cut yourself off from other dating opportunities in the meantime. There are just too many hurdles right now for you to focus on her.
From the women I've dated with children, she's very normal. She has a life, and their lives to consider. If you get hot and heavy with her, and it doesn't work out, you tell your friends and family (if they know) hey, it didn't work out. Her, a single mom, she has to explain why and how she let this man into her family, and them. She has to worry about them getting attached, and having them hurt. The foundation of a relationship is built on patience and trust. She's not testing you, she's living her life, and if you fit in, you fit in, if you don't, well, she wants to know before she and her kids get attached and hurt again. Divorce with kids is always complicated. Be patient if you want to be a part of their life.
My guess: She has lots of things going on in her life. She is not going to be focused on your like a young single person would be. She will squeeze you in when she has time and see whether it goes anywhere. She is not going to take time away from her kids, job, and life responsibilities to foster a relationship that may or may not ever amount to anything. You will always be second chair to her kids. Accept that or get out now.
I'd like to modify that.
You will always be second chair until she knows she can trust you. If she feels like you'll be good for and with her kids, you'll be right up there WITH them.
But if she's a good mom, it's going to take awhile.
From the women I've dated with children, she's very normal. She has a life, and their lives to consider. If you get hot and heavy with her, and it doesn't work out, you tell your friends and family (if they know) hey, it didn't work out. Her, a single mom, she has to explain why and how she let this man into her family, and them. She has to worry about them getting attached, and having them hurt. The foundation of a relationship is built on patience and trust. She's not testing you, she's living her life, and if you fit in, you fit in, if you don't, well, she wants to know before she and her kids get attached and hurt again. Divorce with kids is always complicated. Be patient if you want to be a part of their life.
So refreshing to see this , so thanks for that.. Sometimes l think l must be the only other person that considers kids in this stuff, l'm divorced to my daughters 16now.
Makes me that damn angry though l read all these women all over the net taking dates home and new men they've only known a week around their kids.
Can't believe some of the stuff l hear about. l'm always blasting them.
So nope no way l'd want that . l don't even wanna meet them l shouldn't meet them 12mths , no new people should until they're sure it's a real thing that's going to be around for good.
But she has hers 50 50 so l've hoped we could squeeze me in at least a little bit in between while they're with the dad or any other opportunities. was all.
You will always be second chair until she knows she can trust you. If she feels like you'll be good for and with her kids, you'll be right up there WITH them.
But if she's a good mom, it's going to take awhile.
Thanks sassy . that's a huge point .
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