Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, the flu is legit. That stuff is raging like wildfire right now.
But the closet story is wrong on so many levels:
1) It's likely a lie;
2) It means that, if true, it actually took her three hours to put up a bar in her closet and hang up her clothes. Not exactly a sign of intelligence; or
3) That, if true, she couldn't be bothered to call him during the entirety of her closet salvage efforts.
Back to you, OP. You need to catch a clue.
Usually I would agree with the flu (I just had it, too) but in combination with everything else and her claiming to be super nervous,.... hmmm.
The closet excuse is so dumb, I don't think it was a lie because it makes it all worse for her. A legit lie would be car break down, mother sick, etc..
Usually I would agree with the flu (I just had it, too) but in combination with everything else and her claiming to be super nervous,.... hmmm.
The closet excuse is so dumb, I don't think it was a lie because it makes it all worse for her. A legit lie would be car break down, mother sick, etc..
Either that or she just didn't care if he thought she was lying or not. It's somewhere along the lines of "I have to clean my hamster's cage" or "A friend is having personal problems." That second excuse often translates to mean, "A better offer came along."
I had a first date scheduled for Saturday afternoon with a girl from an OLD site. She lives in a tiny town in southwest Virginia, and there is virtually nothing to do there. It's over fifty miles from a town with a Target, for context.
She was supposed to meet me for lunch at 12, and we were going bowling after. She said she was running behind about 11:30 - OK, I'm not a stickler, and had some cleaning to do anyway. 1 rolls around and she still isn't ready. She finally leaves her house about 3, which means it's 4 before she'll get down here. I told her just to forget it. I had other stuff I needed to get done Saturday.
She apologized and wants me to come up there tomorrow night. It's an hour from where I work, and an hour and a half back to my condo. She's wanting to go see a movie. I want to give her a chance, but I'm irritated that Saturday just got wasted.
How important is for your dates to be punctual?
That's way past acceptable to me. I can see being late a few minutes here and there, but hours, and what excuse did she have??? I remember we had a couple that we were friends with. These two couldn't make it on time anywhere to save their lives. One time they were late, like really late to a gathering that was with a few other people beside just us. They showed up way late and if I recall right it was because the husband didn't wanna get out of bed and he couldn't stop playing Xbox or something along those lines.
Needless to say we stopped doing anything with them.
Unless this woman had a really good excuse that was sincere I'd just as soon pass. People usually show you their good side at first, if this is her good side, I'd hate to see the rest.
I'm ok with being late.. things happen. Especially with traffic and/or public transportation.
But if she isn't LEAVING on the order of hours after the schedule meeting time, that's just being disrespectful. Screw that... I would have called it off an hour (may be two) after.
If it is a serious/emergency situation, she had more than enough opportunity to cancel and apologize.
There's an enormous gulf between calling ahead and saying, "Hey, I'm going to be thirty minutes late," and just radio silence for three hours. The first is a shrug of the shoulders. The second is a sign that there is something seriously wrong with this person. She called the first time. Why didn't she call a second and say, "Hey, this is going to be way later than I thought"?
I mean, hell, when my father suddenly lapsed into a coma and I had to go the emergency room, I had a date that night. And I had the presence of mind amid the chaos and the doctors and everything else to call her up and say, "I'm sorry, but this has happened...."
And that's the basic operative phrase: Presence of mind. She had none. Whatever the heck she was doing, whether it was just getting sucked into a Netflix binge or something more serious (Which I doubt, since OP didn't say that she gave an excuse), she didn't think to pick up the phone and call him once during this period.
You mention she might have had commitments she couldn't avoid. Fine. Why didn't she reschedule the date? Why did she schedule the date for that day in the first place. I mean, you're kind of on your best behavior for your first date. You'd think she would have been more conscientious than this.
Because I'm not the eternal pessimist, I gave his date the benefit of the doubt. Now, that he has told us the EXCUSE, I will state my opinion. Rather than jump to conclusions and assumptions. And he never mentioned "radio silence" in reality he mentioned there was contact. Once again in response, I'm not in her shoes, I'm not speaking for her. Why she didn't is her call, or lack thereof. You jump and make conclusions on half information. Might get you thru life ok, might also cause a MiniVan wreck.
I don't pretend to know what everybody else's life is, their reasons/excuses. The OP came on looking for input. I tried to give fair and impartial input.
I had a first date scheduled for Saturday afternoon with a girl from an OLD site. She lives in a tiny town in southwest Virginia, and there is virtually nothing to do there. It's over fifty miles from a town with a Target, for context.
She was supposed to meet me for lunch at 12, and we were going bowling after. She said she was running behind about 11:30 - OK, I'm not a stickler, and had some cleaning to do anyway. 1 rolls around and she still isn't ready. She finally leaves her house about 3, which means it's 4 before she'll get down here. I told her just to forget it. I had other stuff I needed to get done Saturday.
She apologized and wants me to come up there tomorrow night. It's an hour from where I work, and an hour and a half back to my condo. She's wanting to go see a movie. I want to give her a chance, but I'm irritated that Saturday just got wasted.
How important is for your dates to be punctual?
I do want my dates to be punctual, but I understand that life happens. Life has happened to me a lot, so I will give tons of passes.
She said she was nervous at first and claimed the bar in her closet collapsed and that she wanted to sort through it since it was already down. I know it sounds completely ridiculous.
Have you talked to her since? How many times did she contact you during those four hours?
The closet excuse is lame.
Have you ever met her in person? This could be an excuse due to something not kosher about her that she hasn't shared with you. Under these circumstances, I would say she's either really shy, insecure, or, she's not ready to date..(YOU)
The excitement builds. Assuming things work out, you just need more experience with her and then see if the lateness is habitual and, even if it is, if it still matters.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
