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Old 01-31-2018, 01:12 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
Huh. OK. Well, it's news to me. Guess the ladies I know are just too snarky to feel that way, when they have something to snicker at in front of them, and among their girlfriends.

Not saying it's a good thing. I've never met a woman who responded positively to an unsolicited d-pic. Just the women I know don't tend to be upset exactly, just...maybe exasperated, mildly annoyed, or eye-rolling. Or mocking.

Now, if a guy followed this up with in-person bad behavior, if I felt like he was possibly going to stalk me or harass me in real life, then that would be entirely different.


Online harassment like that is the number one reason I hear from lady friends for giving up online dating. One of my friends is a volunteer moderator with an online dating site (she volunteered because it was happening to her so much) and most of the complaints she fields with is due to this type of harassment. It's a big problem for sites as they lose so many female members due to it.

 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:15 PM
 
336 posts, read 194,873 times
Reputation: 409
Here is how you deal with online harassment. you log off, and go get some fresh air. I know, it sounds really traumatizing.
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:17 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1981 View Post
Here is how you deal with online harassment. you log off, and go get some fresh air. I know, it sounds really traumatizing.


You should understand this comes across as victim blaming. They shouldn't have to log off to not be harassed, people just shouldn't harass others.
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,328 posts, read 14,547,380 times
Reputation: 39258
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
You should understand this comes across as victim blaming. They shouldn't have to log off to not be harassed, people just shouldn't harass others.
Well, beyond that...it doesn't help the site. A guy might be like, "I'm gonna poop all over this room, and if you don't like the stink, then GIT OUT! Ha, ha, ha!" And then the women leave. And the other dudes who came to meet women are in there like, "Why are there no real women here, just scams and bots and fakes...and what is that smell?"

That's why certain behavior is discouraged or moderated against in various social sites. They're looking out for stuff that more people object to, and the site isn't there to defend your freedom of speech. You're still free to spew verbal feces and offensive photos...but not here. That's the general idea and effect. The site's leadership and mods are looking to make the site successful, nothing more.
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:28 PM
 
1,630 posts, read 2,352,929 times
Reputation: 1325
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1981 View Post
Here is how you deal with online harassment. you log off, and go get some fresh air. I know, it sounds really traumatizing.

You have some serious self-introspection to do.
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,328 posts, read 14,547,380 times
Reputation: 39258
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Online harassment like that is the number one reason I hear from lady friends for giving up online dating. One of my friends is a volunteer moderator with an online dating site (she volunteered because it was happening to her so much) and most of the complaints she fields with is due to this type of harassment. It's a big problem for sites as they lose so many female members due to it.
Oh, also? When I was on OKC, you couldn't send pics through their message system. Did that change? I did have guys press for a phone number or kik (whatever that is, I never had one of those) up front and I assumed they were just hoping to exchange naughty pics, and since I was not there for that, I said no. I never gave out my number until I'd met a guy and got a feel for him in person and whether I wanted to maybe meet again...and if not, then he never got my number.

'Cause I don't need random people I don't know calling or texting me, either.

Heck, even on fet, as far as I know, you can't send photos by message. And FB has settings you can tweak for pretty much everything, including who can message you, but I do have female friends who get randos bugging them and sending these kinds of pics on FB messenger.
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Central Florida
3,658 posts, read 2,551,513 times
Reputation: 12289
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1981 View Post
Yeah because its a blast to talk about hurting men, aint it?
Awe, my heart goes out to you. How does it feel to be a victim?
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
24,204 posts, read 19,122,698 times
Reputation: 38266
Quote:
Originally Posted by budlight View Post
Awe, my heart goes out to you. How does it feel to be a victim?
I guess he should log off and go get some fresh air, right?
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:52 PM
 
336 posts, read 194,873 times
Reputation: 409
yeah you guys told me. You can go back to your man hating thread with peace. Because you know, men have the systematic advantage in everything, but they are just evil perverts that should be physically hurt - so we can joke about it. got it. Blind leading blind.
 
Old 01-31-2018, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,452 posts, read 4,733,154 times
Reputation: 15354
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I don't know...shouldn't unsolicited D pics be about the same as flashing? As far as correctional action goes? (Hypothetically.)

I mean isn't it the same thing???

And before we go to "no, because it's on a dating site," well, I'm reasonably sure that if one went to a singles get-together and whipped his pants down, it would be a corrections-worthy offense regardless.
Since it's a picture and not live in the flesh wouldn't it be considered pornography? The person sending the pic may be the star of the show but it's still just a porno pic. Not that unsolicited porn is a welcome thing.
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