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My husband was a truck driver for about 20 years. He loved the lifestyle of being by himself and doesn't get along with co-workers or bosses so this was a good fit. However the stress of the road and the idiot drivers was getting to him and he was contemplating on coming off the road, but with no specific job in mind. In August he took several weeks off for vacation and when he went back to work in September he had a non injury accident his first day back. His company fired him as is the norm for trucking companies.
He has not looked for work since! He did various house projects the first week or so and then those ran out. He has been bored since and depressed I think. He wants to do some major renovations to the house which will keep him busy and is something he likes. However, without his income we are struggling financially. He didn't make a lot of money and neither do I but together we made the most we have ever had in our 25 year marriage. Without his income we are $300. 00 above poverty level. So we don't have money to do major renovations and he doesn't seem to comprehend this. I have shown him our budget and our shrinking bank account. We are nickel and diming our savings and this stresses me out. He hasn't looked for work and states he cant think of a job he would like to do other than fix up houses or old cars. He has only a little experience with renovations so that is not an option to pay the bills. He does have experience fixing up older cars but who is going to buy them?
At any rate he is bored each day and sleeps most of the day and watches t.v. the rest of the day. I think he is depressed. But he could change that! I don't mention the job situation to him but did one time at the beginning. I told him how I felt and how I feel about a man not working when he has no valid reason not to. I thought for this reason alone he would want to work. This is affecting our marriage and definitely my feelings toward him. When friends and acquaintances ask what he is doing since coming off the road he replies "my wife won't let me do anything around the house"! Wow....
I realize there is nothing I can do or say to make him want to work. Just needed to vent.
It seems like he is not facing the reality that your household can not exist on one income. I'd prepare to sell the house and not use any more of the savings.
Will he go see a doctor for depression? 4 months is a long time to not do anything. If he will not seek help & will not get a job, are you prepared to split assets?
I guess he can't be a driver for delivery companies of any sort...? Because he had an accident in his truck? So any jobs involving driving would be out? Like: driving airport shuttles, or taxicabs, or vehicles for nursing homes or retirement facilities, etc.
Is his fix-it work at home good? Repairs are reliable? He could start a handyman business, getting the word out to neighbors and relatives, IF his work is good.
You can explain to him that if he wants to do home-improvement projects, he needs to earn the money to pay for the supplies.
What about working for landscaping companies, or garden supply stores, or Home Depot? Something tells me, though, that customer service may not be his thing.
He needs to see a doctor (depression) and maybe seek professional help. But I've a hunch that he'll deny needing help. I've a hunch that your husband listens to nobody and is the center of his own world. I recognize this because he sounds just like my first husband.
And I'll tell you what happened to me. As my resentment grew, the less respect I had for him. That loss of respect killed my love for him and so I left him. I had no future with him. It would have been a lot easier (for me, anyway) if he was suddenly disabled. I do hope that yours pulls his head out his a-- before it's too late.
It seems like he is not facing the reality that your household can not exist on one income. I'd prepare to sell the house and not use any more of the savings.
Will he go see a doctor for depression? 4 months is a long time to not do anything. If he will not seek help & will not get a job, are you prepared to split assets?
This.
After 4+ months, I'd issue an ultimatum - get professional help and get a job. In the meantime, get ready to sell the house. Refusal to get help and/or find a job?? You walk. You don't deserve to dig life with your teeth. Don't let him drag you straight into the ground.
He clearly likes being by himself more than anything else. He's going to have a tough time no matter what.
Sexism is cool, people.
Yep, she is working and supporting him. I agree, he is such a sexist, putting the whole burden on his wife. He needs to get off his duff and help his wife. He could at least do something around the house instead of blaming his wife for his behavior.
If it's come to the point where you have to sell your house, then it's come to the point where you tell him to s... or get off the pot, that having to move and support yourself alone is going to be easier than supporting both of you
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So we don't have money to do major renovations and he doesn't seem to comprehend this. I have shown him our budget and our shrinking bank account. We are nickel and diming our savings and this stresses me out. He hasn't looked for work and states he cant think of a job he would like to do other than fix up houses or old cars. He has only a little experience with renovations so that is not an option to pay the bills. He does have experience fixing up older cars but who is going to buy them? 
