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Old 05-28-2009, 08:39 PM
 
Location: So Cal
24,985 posts, read 18,750,141 times
Reputation: 23464

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
And run off the men that are worth keeping in the process.
This thought occurred to me as well.
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:17 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
11,573 posts, read 9,799,845 times
Reputation: 14877
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elvira Black View Post

I do believe in karma, and the way this guy is going, all the "free rides" he got through his looks and charm are going to wind up biting him in the ass bigtime.
I've been waiting 30 long, long years for this to happen to my charming, sociopathic sister-in-law and I've given up!

How many people make the mistake of not labeling charm as a dangerous quality in people? I've meditated on charm until I've almost gone mad, why some have it, some never will have it. And how many of these charming people can skate through life without hardly lifting a finger.

Out of sight, you can pulsate with anger with a cocked gun in your hand, and once they're within your sight again, all is mysteriously forgiven! Absolutely amazing! What charm can do!

They're like powerful vacuum cleaners and they just suck you right into the bag while you're laughing, giggling and awestruck!

There's many mysteries I wish to solve before I leave this poor-excuse-for-a-planet and charm is one mystery I still hope to crack one day.

Now if this guy was just good-looking, bereft of charm, the task would be much, much easier. Even unattractive people with charm can be a real test.

Last edited by tijlover; 05-29-2009 at 01:20 AM.. Reason: Add sentence
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:54 AM
 
11,000 posts, read 7,123,642 times
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I have ended a relationship with a guy that would tell me that he was reading an article online describing sociopaths and narcissists and that he thought they described him. I was like "Nah... I don't see it". I was just so charmed by him. Its weird that he actually told me.

So when we broke up, I wasn't sure what actually had happened to "our" relationship. He used to say "I love you" with tears streaming down his face. I enjoyed it alright. A little too much. So when suddenly he told me that we were not meant to be, I was like "". Didn't see that coming.

And he didn't want to talk about it either. Just his explanation that "we weren't meant to be". I smell a fish, but whats a girl to do with a man like that. Yes, he was addictive and charming, but I have to find the strenght to move on and find a guy who will treat me as I want to be treated. I am the type of woman that wont let this get her down, by the grace of god. I will survive.

And of course, I was in deep anguish when we broke up, I just kept blaming myself. Finally he had the decency to tell me that it wasnt anything I had done, that we had both made mistakes. Still, it hurt that he had to come back into my life just to tell me that. Just as I was doing good progress. Ugh.
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Old 05-29-2009, 05:39 AM
 
1,567 posts, read 747,828 times
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There is no way you were dating a sociopath. They are extremely rare in this world as well as psychopaths. What you were dating was simply a jerk. Thats it.
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Old 05-29-2009, 06:20 AM
 
Location: MN
314 posts, read 471,758 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
And run off the men that are worth keeping in the process.

Or worse don't see the good guys cuz they are drawn in by the ones needing a purse or a nurse-no thanks. Packaging is all well and good but the innards is what I want to know about.
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Old 05-29-2009, 06:30 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
16,987 posts, read 19,930,307 times
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Did you have a loving and supportive father? I bet not. If you are seeing a pattern in your choice of unworthy men, maybe a few sessions with a therapist would help you figure out why you choose them?
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Old 05-29-2009, 11:25 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,058 posts, read 9,140,910 times
Reputation: 7934
Quote:
Originally Posted by 60-minutes-II View Post
There is no way you were dating a sociopath. They are extremely rare in this world as well as psychopaths. What you were dating was simply a jerk. Thats it.
True. We really can't know just from a few sentences. But to label him a simply a jerk, not sure sure that's an appropriate term either. From what she has said, he could be a narcissist at the very least - and that is a far cry from just being a jerk.
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:09 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 34,160,293 times
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Actually sociopaths are not extremely rare. This author says it is 1 in 25 people, however, she acknowledges there seems to be more and more prevalence due to modern technology and competition. The Sociopath Next Door

Actually read through this and tell me that sociopaths are very rare. Who hasn't met handfuls of people with traits like that. Sales people, fundamentalists, cult followers, cult leaders, politicians, lawyers, anybody in authority, etc comes to mind. http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

You might be thinking of serial killers as rare, and realistically those are extremely rare.

To me narcissist is the fancy word for conniving jerk. Nothing real special or complicated about it. We all know the type.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
True. We really can't know just from a few sentences. But to label him a simply a jerk, not sure sure that's an appropriate term either. From what she has said, he could be a narcissist at the very least - and that is a far cry from just being a jerk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 60-minutes-II View Post
There is no way you were dating a sociopath. They are extremely rare in this world as well as psychopaths. What you were dating was simply a jerk. Thats it.

Last edited by artsyguy; 05-29-2009 at 01:27 PM..
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:28 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,058 posts, read 9,140,910 times
Reputation: 7934
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Actually sociopaths are not extremely rare. This author says it is 1 in 25 people, however, she acknowledges there seems to be more and more. The Sociopath Next Door

Actually read through this and tell me that sociopaths are very rare. Profile of the Sociopath

You might be thinking of serial killers, now those are extremely rare.
I wasn't in agreement in that they are rare. I think there are varying degrees myself - but I'm no shrink and don't play one on TV. From the OP, it's kind of hard to determine if that is, in fact, the case. Still I tend to take posters at their word and respond accordingly.

They are geniuses at blending in. So it's easy to be taken in. The OP says she knew what she was getting into, and that "jerK" may have been all she saw. Even with that, they rarely, if ever, show their true colors in the beginning. If anyone with any common sense saw up front all she has seen since she committed to him, I think there would be less incidences of domestic abuse. JMHO.
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Old 05-29-2009, 01:32 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,058 posts, read 9,140,910 times
Reputation: 7934
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
To me narcissist is the fancy word for conniving jerk. Nothing real special or complicated about it. We all know the type.
Sociopaths can be narcissistic, though not all narcissts are sociopaths. And narcissists are far from being just conniving jerks. They are emotional and mental vampires. By the time you find the strength to walk away, you will likely be a shell of what you once were. If you had actually ever been with one, you'd certainly know the difference. I hope you never do.
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