Why do people here say dating is one sided in favor of women??? (husbands, casual)

[homina12]

Originally Posted by JerZ

We do.

But that doesn't make that bitterness less potentially dangerous. Nor less poisonous to the person who refuses to get past these experiences and try something new.

We all have bad things happen to us. All of us. Most of us do not take those bad things out on 50% of the population. Nor do we generally go on the internet trying to recruit others to our own feelings of hate, hence creating more and more ugliness for the world, and more and more bitterness even when none should have been warranted, but is really based just on hearsay and button-pushing.

So yeah, in the opinion of some of us here, something SHOULD be said.

I'd love for any of these whiners to have tried MY childhood for just "one day."

Most would wind up dead, I'm pretty sure, and I mean that literally. I almost did. Twice, actually. Before the age of nine. But I digress. Point is: bad experiences? We all have them, all.

You can wallow, plus blame others, or you can realize: hey, guess what! I'm not the one single golden person on earth who should have had everything easy. And hey. Maybe if I'm experiencing the same thing over and over and over again...I should do something about it. I. Not the rest of the world, changing for me to please my own parameters.

Is the bitterness not the cause but the result? Maybe. Initially. So does that give all of us leave to be bitter and hate based on stuff that's happened in our past? How the hell would we survive as a society? We'd all be killing one another. Again. EVERYBODY has "cause" to feel angry about something; some of us, a lot of somethings. To varying degrees, some SEVERE and way beyond "oh noes, I can't get laid by a 9." Where does that stop? How long are we allowed to milk "hey, I didn't start this"...before we grow up and take some responsibility?

Forever, apparently.

I'm absolutely not in favor of bitterness. I'm not in favor of wallowing. I've done enough of both to see in exquisite detail the damage they cause for the doer and those does to. I don't think anyone who spends five minutes here would thing that this forum generally welcomes bitter people expressing their bitterness. And yet they keep coming.

I count you among the 15-20 regular posters who come here, for lack of a better way to put it, to help. I'll ask you what I asked timberline. Are we helping?

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by homina12

I'm absolutely not in favor of bitterness. I'm not in favor of wallowing. I've done enough of both to see in exquisite detail the damage they cause for the doer and those does to. I don't think anyone who spends five minutes here would thing that this forum generally welcomes bitter people expressing their bitterness. And yet they keep coming.

I count you among the 15-20 regular posters who come here, for lack of a better way to put it, to help. I'll ask you what I asked timberline. Are we helping?

If the answer is no, what is the plan? To stop posting? Just curious.

I am 100% certain we are bringing a percentage of people to see reality. They probably will not post such epiphanies; on internet forums, complaints and issues tend to be posted far more than positive commentary. That's just standard.

A percentage can't be helped by an internet forum. That's standard too. And a percentage will continue to keep trying to post trigger stuff, because otherwise they would never receive any attention at all. Like toddlers do, negative attention. Though I feel sorry for this category I don't count them among the potentially dangerous, to themselves or anybody else. They are getting something out of being inflammatory so they don't want actual help anyway. No biggie.