Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Bf of several years has lied about things including financial matters. He has been in a tough spot money wise for the last 8 years and lost his assets. I am well settled financially and for a while he lied to me about his debt bc I think he thought if he told me the truth I’d leave. Well I found out on my own on several occasions and he couldn’t fess up so we broke up briefly a few times.
I took him back because he promised to be transparent.
He improved some of his terrible habits in terms of overusing credit cards but I keep catching him in money lies. The latest ones involve him using his mothers credit card instead of his own on certain occasions. I was very angry at him because she is old and needs he money and even though he doesn’t have much he works and gets a modest salary and has some money on the side for paying bills that was inherited. He told me his mom said it was ok for him to use her card if he wanted. His name is in the card but the account is hers and she pays it. He is her power of attorney.
I’m at my wits end. He wants to marry me (soon) but how can I make a future with him? While he says otherwise am I the next card he will use?
Ironic part is we really love each other and have great chemistry like I’ve never had with a man except my late husband.
During one of our breakups I made him go with me to counseling but I caught him in a lie about going online dating at the second session and the therapist told me to leave him. I stayed because I loved him and am loyal.
Do I leave or stay?
Save yourself alot of grief and move on. He's told you lies more then once, that destroys the trust for me. At the very least, do not marry him! Do not let him use your credit cards! You can find a guy much better who will love, cherish, and respect you! A trusting relationship is a great relationship! Good luck!
Big problem about lying is, if you know someone will lie to you, how do you know when they're telling you the truth?
Your therapist gave you good advice.
Wow this is the same poster that post Ad Nauseam problem about her situation. I even got an infraction calling this poster the C word. Why is this poster able to do this C word threads Ad Nauseam I mean. Talk about WTF. It's driving me the I word with capital I and exclamation point.
Bf of several years has lied about things including financial matters. He has been in a tough spot money wise for the last 8 years and lost his assets. I am well settled financially and for a while he lied to me about his debt bc I think he thought if he told me the truth I’d leave. Well I found out on my own on several occasions and he couldn’t fess up so we broke up briefly a few times.
I took him back because he promised to be transparent.
He improved some of his terrible habits in terms of overusing credit cards but I keep catching him in money lies. The latest ones involve him using his mothers credit card instead of his own on certain occasions. I was very angry at him because she is old and needs he money and even though he doesn’t have much he works and gets a modest salary and has some money on the side for paying bills that was inherited. He told me his mom said it was ok for him to use her card if he wanted. His name is in the card but the account is hers and she pays it. He is her power of attorney.
I’m at my wits end. He wants to marry me (soon) but how can I make a future with him? While he says otherwise am I the next card he will use?
Ironic part is we really love each other and have great chemistry like I’ve never had with a man except my late husband.
During one of our breakups I made him go with me to counseling but I caught him in a lie about going online dating at the second session and the therapist told me to leave him. I stayed because I loved him and am loyal.
Do I leave or stay?
ALL of this. All of this is enough lying. MORE than enough.
I would have been gone at "used his mother's credit card." What a scumbag.
Bf of several years has lied about things including financial matters. He has been in a tough spot money wise for the last 8 years and lost his assets. I am well settled financially and for a while he lied to me about his debt bc I think he thought if he told me the truth I’d leave. Well I found out on my own on several occasions and he couldn’t fess up so we broke up briefly a few times.
I took him back because he promised to be transparent.
He improved some of his terrible habits in terms of overusing credit cards but I keep catching him in money lies. The latest ones involve him using his mothers credit card instead of his own on certain occasions. I was very angry at him because she is old and needs he money and even though he doesn’t have much he works and gets a modest salary and has some money on the side for paying bills that was inherited. He told me his mom said it was ok for him to use her card if he wanted. His name is in the card but the account is hers and she pays it. He is her power of attorney.
I’m at my wits end. He wants to marry me (soon) but how can I make a future with him? While he says otherwise am I the next card he will use?
Ironic part is we really love each other and have great chemistry like I’ve never had with a man except my late husband.
During one of our breakups I made him go with me to counseling but I caught him in a lie about going online dating at the second session and the therapist told me to leave him. I stayed because I loved him and am loyal.
Do I leave or stay?
If you get married to this man, ^^^This is what your marriage will be like. He's not going to change. He's shown you very clearly who he is and what his priorities are. Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? You say you love him, but you should also love yourself enough to do what you know you need to.
I can only speak for myself but I personally couldn't deal with this. Money/Financials is a big reason why marriages fail. On top of that, the constant lies would be the final straw.
Early in our marriage, it was revealed to me that she had 18k in debt. It was one of our biggest disagreements because she never brought it up in our discussions prior. There was a lot of apologizing (she was embarrassed) and more talks.... we tried to live with it for a while (separate finances). It wasn't working out. Its hard to enjoy things in life as a couple when one is scraping by while the other has lots of disposable income. I was debt free after graduation and I paid for the down on our house 6 months post graduation.
So I dumped my entire savings into her CC debt... cleaned the slate... and never mentioned it again. She ended up being a much more frugal person and I learned from her. She has been completely transparent and we work well together managing our finances. If she had not changed her spending habits, I doubt it would have gone much further than the first year.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
