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Old 02-11-2018, 10:44 AM
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
4,005 posts, read 2,070,361 times
Reputation: 7714

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I like it. It doesn't have to be gaudy expensive or anything. Giving me 1 red rose and saying Happy Valentine's Day is just as effective as giving me a dozen red roses. It's the fact he remembered that counts.

I used to leave a card lying in plain sight for my husband. He liked it.

The dead of winter is a nice time to warm things up and spread a little love. Its not limited to something just for a SO. We used to give some Baci to my MIL, and family friends. Its a nice holiday.

 
Old 02-11-2018, 10:54 AM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,138,096 times
Reputation: 29347
Quote:
Originally Posted by profnot View Post
I've had several male bosses and friends over the years who whine about Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, and wedding anniversaries being "Hallmark Holidays."

WTF !?!

These men had wonderful wives and GFs who did more housework than the guys, more childcare than the guys (many raising the guy's stepchildren), buying the guy's favourite foods at the supermarket, did more cooking than the guys, and created the couple's social lives.

And Mr can't take an hour or so 3 - 5 days a year to find a gift or experience (restaurant dinner, mani-pedi certificate) for the gal who has done so much for him?

WTF?
WTF? You make a lot of assumptions. You assume that your friends don't appreciate the women in their lives or show that appreciation because they don't like the overhyped and commercialized aspect of "Hallmark Holidays". Maybe they take 2 hours or so 10 - 15 *other* days a year to show their appreciation? WTF?
 
Old 02-11-2018, 10:55 AM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,138,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I'm a wife and mother and I agree with your male friends that Valentine's Day and Mother's Day are high-pressure holidays. Anniversaries maybe not so much, because couples generally talk about them beforehand and agree on something to do.

Yes, I think husbands should make an effort to show their wives how much they appreciate them on a regular basis and do something special for them, and vice versa. The problem is the expectation that it be a certain kind of gift or experience, on a certain specific day. If you don't do it just right, you are screwed, because your spouse will be hearing from all his/her friends about the amazing things THEIR spouses did. It's easy not to measure up, and easy to feel resentful about having to go through the whole program whether you want to or not.

Personally I would rather have my husband take me out for dinner at a nice restaurant on a different day when 99% of other couples aren't eating out and every restaurant is therefore insanely crowded. And I appreciate a box of chocolates or a bunch of flowers much more if they arrive on a day that isn't a prescheduled, mass-marketed "Give Your Sweetie a Gift" day. If my husband brings me a gift on a random day like August 23 (and that kind of thing has happened), then I know he did it just because he loves me, not because it's an Official Gift Day.

I will admit I was a little put out the one year he forgot my birthday, though. That only happened once, and he swears he knew my birthday was that week, but got the date mixed up and thought it was the next day.
Nailed it to a tee.
 
Old 02-11-2018, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Hellinois
5,820 posts, read 3,849,372 times
Reputation: 8123
I'm sure men hate Valentine's Day because it has degenerated into a materialistic Female Worship Day. There's a damn good reason the breakup season takes place between New Year and Valentine's Day.
 
Old 02-11-2018, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I'm sure men hate Valentine's Day because it has degenerated into a materialistic Female Worship Day. There's a damn good reason the breakup season takes place between New Year and Valentine's Day.
There's a break-up season? Wow, and I only paid attention to the flu and hurricane seasons....
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Old 02-11-2018, 11:05 AM
 
23,177 posts, read 12,138,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I don't see how they are high pressure holidays for men since a lot of men decide not to participate.
Because they are under pressure from society to participate. Just because they resist the pressure doesn't mean they didn't feel it.
 
Old 02-11-2018, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Emotional and monteary exploitation of male partners at it's best.
 
Old 02-11-2018, 11:10 AM
 
728 posts, read 470,770 times
Reputation: 436
Better known as only Wednesday.
 
Old 02-11-2018, 11:10 AM
 
5,428 posts, read 4,433,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
I'm sure men hate Valentine's Day because it has degenerated into a materialistic Female Worship Day. There's a damn good reason the breakup season takes place between New Year and Valentine's Day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
There's a break-up season? Wow, and I only paid attention to the flu and hurricane seasons....
Two-thirds of all breakups happen between November and March. The rapid succession of high pressure litmus test holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Super Bowl Sunday, and Valentine's Day) is enough to break a weak relationship. Divorce attorneys are usually busiest in the early part of the year, as new filings occur most during the 1st quarter of the year. Conversely, the majority of proposals happen during November to March.

The only benefit in Valentine's Day for a guy is getting laid. If a man doesn't have a Valentine and isn't getting laid, he's viewed as a reject. So there is pressure for men to have a date and get laid so as to not be perceived as a loser.

There is a degree of stress involved in the day for a guy, regardless of relationship status.
 
Old 02-11-2018, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
My husband has received some very nice gifts on Valentines Day.

Here's a hint guys: if it is one sided then leave. Consider Valentine's Day a gift that shows you what type of woman you are dating.
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