Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know actions speak louder than words, but words mean things. I guess my love language is "Words of affirmation", because I am someone who needs to be verbally validated from time to time. I know my boyfriend cared about me, but I just wanted him to vocalize it. I waited and I waited, but to no avail. It hurt me, because there are people who get into committed relationships and say ILY within 3 months, and we've been dating longer than that, and I still never heard it.
I know what you're thinking, did I say it? No. I didn't say it because I wanted him to be first. I find something shoddy about a woman saying it first. Like, how do i know the guy isn't just saying to mirror me?
People kept asking me if he told me he loved me yet, and I was starting to feel bad. I was getting funny looks, and it was filling me with uncertainty.
But anyways, I dumped him. He hasn't responded, which I guess confirms my feelings... or his lack of.
I can't believe that people asked you if had said "I Love You", yet. That is absolutely ridiculous.
And, you dumped him because he did not say it to you?!?!
What if he felt that the woman should always say ILY first and he was holding back waiting for you to say it to him. Sheesh. Don't couples even talk to each other anymore?
I can't believe that people asked you if had said "I Love You", yet. That is absolutely ridiculous.
And, you dumped him because he did not say it to you?!?!
What if he felt that the woman should always say ILY first and he was holding back waiting for you to say it to him. Sheesh. Don't couples even talk to each other anymore?
Nah, I don't think that's it. It probably isn't meant to be. I had a bf and I had no problem telling him ILY. But when he didn't say it back and I asked him about it, he said "I shouldn't have to say it. You should just know". Well, a lot of things happened but I cut him out of my life and he sent me this handwritten letter saying he should have done some things but didn't... but he still didn't say ILY! Whatever bro.
I can't believe that people asked you if had said "I Love You", yet. That is absolutely ridiculous.
And, you dumped him because he did not say it to you?!?!
What if he felt that the woman should always say ILY first and he was holding back waiting for you to say it to him. Sheesh. Don't couples even talk to each other anymore?
That was my reaction. I can't imagine asking a friend of mine if the person they are asking said "I love you". I would expect "mind your own damn business" in response.
That was my reaction. I can't imagine asking a friend of mine if the person they are asking said "I love you". I would expect "mind your own damn business" in response.
There are certain milestones in relationships. It's no different then asking if your kid started talking yet. It's just expected stepping stones.
It just seems like you were on some sort of timeline or pressure from your friends to reach these stepping stones versus it occuring naturally. If you loved him, I would assume you would have talked to him about your feelings before just dumping him.
Also, people develop feelings at a different pace, so I think it's unreasonable to compare your relationship with others in that aspect (I'm referecing your comment about others saying ILY at 3 months in).
I think saying "I love you" should be reserved for only a person who you want to marry for life or partner with for life.
I feel 'I love you' is definitely not for casual relationships.
I think saying 'I love you" should be reserved for long-term committed relationships and indicative of a desire to marry or partner with.
The meaning of ILY has become too diluted and diminished when said in casual dating relationships. You do NOT love everyone you happen to be dating. And just because you are having sex with a person, it is not automatically indicative of love.
Last edited by matisse12; 02-12-2018 at 01:28 PM..
I disagree. I don't discuss personal things between my S.O. and me with other people.
I find that opens the doors to people feeling free to give their unwanted opinions, and people talk to other people.
My 40-year-old self agrees with this^. It's not something I ask my friends.
But my early-20's self might have asked a friend "are y'all in love". Maybe OP just hasn't reached the age where she feels comfortable saying "Mind yo business".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
