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Old 02-17-2018, 07:17 AM
 
10,337 posts, read 5,819,104 times
Reputation: 17879

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
People are still making this a damn joke. Look if I wanted just a BJ, I'd gotten it by bypassing the medium of dating and getting a hooker. The reason why I still participate in this ed up dating game of 2018 is because I just can't screw someone I have no emotional connection to. I accept that dating and spending money is a necessary evil to get someone I have a connection too. Doesn't mean I can't call out problems in the process.
Some people DO like to see the humor in situations, you can't take it as an assault to your opinions, or that they are making fun of you as a person.

I think after the couple of years I've been posting here, you have just recently made some concessions (through experience) to your previously rigid views of what "type' of woman is acceptable to you, and how things SHOULD work. Concessions and open minded-ness happen with experience.

I can actually believe you may end up with someone one day and find that it didn't matter if she approached you first, it didn't matter if she had a child, you don't suspect she is using you, it's the person beside you who makes you want to do nice things for them, a feeling, not an inventory.

Hopefully you will also recognize that dating and spending is not just a "necessary evil" but something you will enjoy doing with someone who makes you feel like.....laughing.

 
Old 02-17-2018, 07:32 AM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,573,700 times
Reputation: 19649
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx View Post
That's my point even a restaurant that I go to regularly may have items that are hard on the wallet but I would not be thinking of that if the vast majority of menu items are reasonably priced.

think of it this way, say your favorite restaurant has about 80-90 items on the menu, you have eaten there many time and have tried about 90% of whats on the menu about 30% of whats on the menu is in the $5 - $10 range about 60% is in the $15-25ish range then there is that 10% in the $40- $60+ range(it's usually one item in each section on the top right corner of the menu thats the only item with an actual photo that I've trained my brain to ignore over the years).

So when you are thinking of taking a date there and you have been there a million times,have eaten 90% of whats on the menu and on average spend about 20-30 bucks in the place meal and drinks included you are thinking probably double that paying for a date there. especially if there are only 4 or 5 expensive dishes out of 80-90 different dishes they serve. I mean what are the odds that one of those 4 wallet breaking items is where her eyes will land on the menu and set her mouth to watering? I mean women aren't as materialistic as guys here say they are right?

It's kinda funny that guys are told they are wrong when they say women only go after guys with big money, but if a guy questions a woman's motives when she orders one of the top items on a menu, or when you ask her "whatcha wanna do tonite?" and she always suggests someplace or something costly, he gets labeled as CHEAP.

Look women who do this aren't stupid, you look at the menu most people know (even if the prices aren't on the menu) what the high dollar items are, and going straight for those items when on a first dinner date says alot about the woman, the op paid for the meal as he was supposed to but I don't blame him for feeling used in that situation.

it was a first dinner date and she behaved like it was an anniversary diner.
The OP has never returned to the thread. He has not enlightened us as to the general price range of the dish. He has simply told us that HE ordered the halibut, which was $18. That halibut might have been one of the few steak items at a steak restaurant, and half the price of the other dishes. If my date takes me to Millie’s Steakhouse and orders a halibut, it is absolutely not reasonable to follow his lead and order fish, because who is going to take a person to a steakhouse if he doesn’t think his date is going to want a steak?

The menu could very well have been something like

Halibut $18
Scallops $24
Snapper $40
Other expensive market price fish

Chicken $18
Pork $20

Array of steak options $35-60 (with the low end options being pretty small steaks)

Surf and Turf $50

With that sort of menu, the $50 surf and turf doesn’t turn out to be as insanely priced as one thinks. Most places I know of that typically are going to offer a surf and turf with a lobster tend to be a little higher end and offer steak and fresh/market price seafood.
 
Old 02-17-2018, 10:07 AM
 
1,078 posts, read 928,460 times
Reputation: 2867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster View Post
You know damn well she wouldn't have ordered that if she had to pay for it. Toss her.
Really? I always order steak and salad when I go out alone - my tabs are anywhere between $30-60. It would never have occurred to me to not order what I like when on a date. I can’t say I ever really looked at prices on the menu. Fortunately my dates didn’t ever seem to care, including my future husband. He always orders a burger for a quarter of my steak cost and never make a fuss

Last edited by Schmooky; 02-17-2018 at 11:32 AM..
 
Old 02-17-2018, 10:59 AM
 
5,427 posts, read 4,406,220 times
Reputation: 7252
No dinner dates. They are costly and counterproductive.
 
Old 02-17-2018, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Southern California
29,267 posts, read 16,561,763 times
Reputation: 18901
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
Wow, 346 posts and the OP has not yet returned to the conversation.
I've seen this many times, a one time poster maybe?
 
Old 02-17-2018, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,383,152 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312 View Post
No dinner dates. They are costly and counterproductive.
Not all dinner dates are expensive.
 
Old 02-17-2018, 11:46 AM
 
1,532 posts, read 1,050,052 times
Reputation: 5207
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmooky View Post
Really? I always order steak and salad when I go out alone - my tabs are anywhere between $30-60. It would never have occurred to me to not order what I like when on a date. I can’t say I ever really looked at prices on the menu. Fortunately my dates didn’t ever seem to care, including my future husband. He always orders a burger for a quarter of my steak cost and never make a fuss
Exactly. I order what I want and I am quite willing to pay for what I want. I have paid for dates when I was still dating—occasionally, because I am older, it was the man’s “first time” of having the date paid for. Some people like to overgeneralize about women as though all of them were the same.
 
Old 02-17-2018, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
11,095 posts, read 7,837,648 times
Reputation: 28787
Quote:
Originally Posted by ylisa7 View Post
I'm sorry for all of the single people here who have to deal with things like this. Makes me glad I am married. Either way I'd rather stay home and eat than go out to a restaurant anyway
Don't feel sorry for me... Dealing with " things like this" is only temporary. And ...I don't have to deal with a husband.
Makes me glad I am single.
 
Old 02-17-2018, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,678 posts, read 41,521,125 times
Reputation: 41302
Quote:
Originally Posted by ylisa7 View Post
I'm sorry for all of the single people here who have to deal with things like this. Makes me glad I am married. Either way I'd rather stay home and eat than go out to a restaurant anyway
While in a way, I’m not interested in marriage, I do on one level envy those who are in good marriages and know that they have someone they love and trust enough to trust them with the honor of being a spouse. Having someone like that in my life is something I dream of. That is the only reason why I tolerate the dating game I hate with a passion. I want someone who i think the world of to where a $50 dinner is chump change for the impact we have on each other.
 
Old 02-17-2018, 02:44 PM
 
5,427 posts, read 4,406,220 times
Reputation: 7252
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
Not all dinner dates are expensive.
Dinner is usually pricier than drinks in a bar.

With drinks in a bar, the plan is to sit side by side in a bar, touch her leg, run your fingers through her hair, and set up for a kiss. If she reacts well to that, then you can kiss. If not, you need more time to either make that happen, or GTFO.

Even some degree of kissing on a first date doesn't guarantee a second date. There is rationale behind going for sex on the first date.

At dinner, you are more likely to be sitting across from each other, so the escalation tactics are more difficult to implement.

There are no advantages that dinner offers that a drinks date doesn't offer.
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