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Would you like to be in this kind of relationship? That would answer your question. Doesn't sound good to me if she's not over her ex yet.
Well first of all this is long over. We haven't contacted each other in weeks and I've moved on. Just wanted to get the two cents of some people here. But clearly you're in that outside looking in mindset of "WHY would you even want this???". Well I did spend 2 solid months with her and while that's not a lot, I got to know a very sweet, nice, caring girl, with a good heart. I figured this was just some huge immature mistake she made and that we would pick things back up and move forward. Obviously that didn't happen and I'm better off for it, but yeah, its always easy from the outside looking in. Only I have the REAL feel for her and I felt it was enough to offer her a second chance. If those 2 months were iffy to begin with and she was strange in other ways obviously this wouldn't even be a thread right now. But they were an amazing and rather serious 2 months without a single blip on the radar. So yeah, it hurt bad, but I've moved on.
I should have absolutely noted that while we were never official, this was a rather serious 2 months. You could say it was like 4 months packed into 2. For starters, we both deleted our Online dating profiles a little over a month into this and said we were focusing on each other. I did however delete mine first. She stayed over every weekend, sex, I went to a work Xmas party with her, she came to a friends party of mine, we texted and flirted every day, she bought and wore new lingerie for me, we exchanged Christmas gifts, had deep convos, she posted TWO photos of us to her social media, etc. and I do mean etc.
This was no ordinary “sorry but my ex came back” type of blowoff. I was blindsided like never before.
What do I know? Maybe you never really stood a chance, and was just used to make her previous BF put a ring on it?
At any rate, pick yourself up, dust yourself off mentally, and polish up your FB. Get back in the game! Don't hate the game, hate the player (her). Don't take what she did out on someone new. Just be happy you emerged from this unscathed and move on! By the time you get done analyzing and reanalyzing this, you could have a new love already.
As for decoding the mind of a woman - its not that simple. We are all individuals, and need to be treated accordingly.
How can any woman respect a man that doesn't respect himself.
To be dumped by a woman, and then immediately 'forgive' her and take her back again, the OP needs to work on many things in his life. A woman will never truly respect or 'love' a guy that takes her back after she cheated on him or treated him badly. No surprise that she started on the same path once he took her back. No surprise at all.
He needs to fix his own issues first before falling head over heals with every woman he meets and dates. Stop worshiping the ground the partner walks on. Stop coddling them and showering them with gifts, stop wtih the nonstop I love you's, and stop with the non stop lovey dovey texts 24/7. Work on self esteem and self respect. Be a man.
And if someone you screw up the relationship, or there never was one, and she cheats on you or dumps you, then MOVE ON. Preserve your dignity and self respect. Learn what caused the 'relationship' to fail, and work on those for the future.
Women have the potential to be really great at monkey branching. This is why as a guy, you've got to be constantly proving your value and your attributes to a woman. Remember that in most Western countries that there are multiple men lining up to date your girlfriend. If you are not constantly at the top of your game, there's another solid option out there and she won't hesitate to jump.
What do I know? Maybe you never really stood a chance, and was just used to make her previous BF put a ring on it?
The absolutely last thing he ever should have considered. ^^^^^^^
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Women have the potential to be really great at monkey branching. This is why as a guy, you've got to be constantly proving your value and your attributes to a woman. Remember that in most Western countries that there are multiple men lining up to date your girlfriend. If you are not constantly at the top of your game, there's another solid option out there and she won't hesitate to jump.
only works when they are younger. The 'carousel' ends at a certain age
He needs to fix his own issues first before falling head over heals with every woman he meets and dates. Stop worshiping the ground the partner walks on. Stop coddling them and showering them with gifts, stop wtih the nonstop I love you's, and stop with the non stop lovey dovey texts 24/7. Work on self esteem and self respect. Be a man.
Ok Jack, while I wasn't head over heels I did like the woman a lot. There were no I love you's, no nonstop lovey-dovey texts and no "showering" her with gifts. Everything she was doing in the time we spent together showed me she was serious about dating and moving forward with me. We had a talk early on where she told me flat out she's looking for something long term, and then we both deleted our online dating profiles and said we would focus on each other. Yes I made the move first, but she still did the same.
The only issue I need to fix/only thing I did wrong IMO was in fact bowing down and saying I'd take her back/give her a second chance so quick after she pulled such a stunt. I agree with you there. But when emotions are strong and you're 33 and want a relationship and spent an amazing 2 months with someone, it's hard. HOWEVER.. believe me I looked at everything and weighed the pros and cons and had a lot more cons about the whole thing. But at the end of the day I thought to myself - its true we WERE never exclusive, she WAS perfect for the 2 months, and people DO make big mistakes in life sometimes, especially when emotions are involved.
ALSO, its not like I ran back to her and said 'oh thank you! i'm so glad you're back! don't worry about what you did to me!'. I put my foot down in many ways and told her how what she did wasn't acceptable and how if she wanted this second chance there would be things that would have to be done by her, some of which were noted in my original post. When I saw she was turning this into a game, I was out shortly thereafter, and even deleted her from my social media.
only works when they are younger. The 'carousel' ends at a certain age
Sad but true, for the good looking women of course who get more attention from the opposite sex in one week than the average girl gets in a year.
That being said, only the immature insecure ones ride this carousel. A rational woman appreciates and clings onto a good man.
The others then wake up one day in their 30's when all their other friends are getting married, settling down, having kids and buying houses and realize they've played the carousel too long in life and have also been b-tches to all the honest/decent men they've met in their life. Then they "settle" out of fear. This is one of the reasons you see better looking women with not so good looking men IMO.
OP, you've been played. This chick is a serious player. She obviously is also not into you. She is into... HERSELF. she must be good in bed for you to be played like that. Either that or you have no other option like she does. LOL.
It really is not rocket science.
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. The 'carousel' ends at a certain age
