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Women tend to have a longer list of 'requirements' while men's are shorter.
Gotta disagree with you there.
I wanted a woman who brought more to a relationship than looks and sex.
I think this is a common problem for some women in particular because they want commitment, they want exclusivity, yet they have nothing to offer beyond "well I'm pretty and cool, isn't that enough?"
Yes, all men are millionaire celebrities who should follow this advice for themselves. It's attractive to us shallow women who need cash, we have no emotions.
A woman is not attractive for wanting an attractive man. Wouldn't it look strange for an attractive woman to be dating an average-looking man? Eventually the guy would start feeling insecure over having attractive men approach his girlfriend and the relationship would deteriorate because of his insecurities.
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shallow women who need cash,
That doesn't make women shallow, but it does depict a lack of sexual attraction for the guy, if they need the guy to have money. A personal example would be how when I was 20 I wanted an one-night stand with this 23 year old party girl. She wouldn't have casual sex with me, but she would sleep with me if I dated her, and the major requirement she had listed for that to happen was ''you need to get a job.'' I had no interest in working so I passed on that. And it was a smart decision because she was clearly not sexually attracted to me. Had I dated her, I would've probably be paying for dinners and dates while getting nothing in return.
A woman is not attractive for wanting an attractive man. Wouldn't it look strange for an attractive woman to be dating an average-looking man? Eventually the guy would start feeling insecure over having attractive men approach his girlfriend and the relationship would deteriorate because of his insecurities.
That doesn't make women shallow, but it does depict a lack of sexual attraction for the guy, if they need the guy to have money. A personal example would be how when I was 20 I wanted an one-night stand with this 23 year old party girl. She wouldn't have casual sex with me, but she would sleep with me if I dated her, and the major requirement she had listed for that to happen was ''you need to get a job.'' I had no interest in working so I passed on that. And it was a smart decision because she was clearly not sexually attracted to me. Had I dated her, I would've probably be paying for dinners and dates while getting nothing in return.
Gosh. I wonder how my average looking boyfriend copes with all of the men approaching me all the time, even at parties we are attending together...I mean, he doesn't SEEM insecure...
Oh yeah. He knows he's got the empathy and communication skills so that I won't be seething with resentment dealing with him day after day (like some men we know, who are utter failures in relationships.) And he knows that I'm happy with a lot of other aspects like how we enjoy various cultural media and intellectual interests and so I am never bored with him. And finally, but perhaps most significantly, he knows that he has an unusually high degree of skill in bed, such that I'm enjoying sensations and experiences no one has ever known how to give me before, and I am 100% aware of how rare his abilities are in a partner.
He is confident, and he has very good reason to be, and I don't hesitate to tell him and show him how appreciated he is.
You figure how to put a lady over the moon in half a dozen different ways, it's not going to matter if better looking men are always "approaching" her. And if you're lucky you can be entertained when the most persistent ones get socially eviscerated by her snark.
But this kind of logic I see in this forum so often, the basic "I can't help it, my value is determined by stuff I have no control over" default, a man who takes no time to educate himself on the nuts and bolts of being a better partner... I guess a pretty but infuriating or useless man will GET a woman more easily than an ugly but infuriating or useless man will. But he still isn't likely to KEEP her.
How well have Brad Pitt's relationships gone? Looks only take you so far, and no further.
Gosh. I wonder how my average looking boyfriend copes with all of the men approaching me all the time, even at parties we are attending together...I mean, he doesn't SEEM insecure...
At his age he has probably realized that nearly every relationship is transient and as such there is no point in investing emotionally, or financially although he might seem to do so, there are plenty of men who can put up a good front of being committed.
I know a 64 year old man whose life circles around doing that. He's not insecure nor is he worried about being cheated on because he's already doing that, he's giving every woman he meets and sleeps with the same treatment. Sweet, caring, dedicated. When one dumps him or cheats he just shrugs and goes on.
Yes, you reject all of those guys, but that's you. You're one example out of millions of women with options, and even my friends who are extremely good-looking get cheated on. That old man you are dating has guts I give you that. Dating a woman who is young enough to be his daughter and who is more attractive than most of the women on relationship sites.
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Oh yeah. He knows he's got the empathy and communication skills so that I won't be seething with resentment dealing with him day after day (like some men we know, who are utter failures in relationships.)
Yeah, that's the worst part of being in a relationship. The constant grinding, the constant work and the daily communication that women expect, and if you don't provide her with the entertainment, the validation, the fact that she's pretty and fit and young makes her able of finding herself a new boyfriend within the space of 5 minutes. More like 5 seconds.
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And he knows that I'm happy with a lot of other aspects like how we enjoy various cultural media and intellectual interests and so I am never bored with him. And finally, but perhaps most significantly, he knows that he has an unusually high degree of skill in bed, such that I'm enjoying sensations and experiences no one has ever known how to give me before, and I am 100% aware of how rare his abilities are in a partner.
Well.. yeah. He's almost a hundred years old. I would expect him to pick a trick or two, no? How come those other guys didn't know how to give you those sensations and experiences? Were they lazy? Were they so attractive they didn't care about their perfomance? I can't measure up to my friends, in terms of aesthetics, so I try to make up for it by being as attentive as possible and by taking my time. But I still do wonder who can turn them on the most, a dude like Sean O'Pry, or me, some random dude who puts effort into it.
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You figure how to put a lady over the moon in half a dozen different ways, it's not going to matter if better looking men are always "approaching" her. And if you're lucky you can be entertained when the most persistent ones get socially eviscerated by her snark.
Sure, but she doesn't know how good or how bad my skills might be, when I approach her, right? And if this guy approaches her, http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/73767...an-o%27pry.jpg why would she even care about how good he is in bed or not, when she can brag to her girlfriends that she banged a stunner?
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But this kind of logic I see in this forum so often, the basic "I can't help it, my value is determined by stuff I have no control over" default, a man who takes no time to educate himself on the nuts and bolts of being a better partner... I guess a pretty but infuriating or useless man will GET a woman more easily than an ugly but infuriating or useless man will. But he still isn't likely to KEEP her.
The nuts and bolts of being a better partner? And what are those? A pretty man is never useless, as he can make beautiful children, and what woman doesn't want to have beautiful sons and daughters? It increases the chances of their sons being reproductively succsseful, and of having a happy romantic life.
Trust me. It's a lot easier for my friends to get a relationship they are happy with than it is for me, because I ain't no Sean O'pry, my relationships take a lotta more effort and work, and in the end it's just a waste of time because I end up getting dumped for that guy. I was born with the wrong sexuality because guys like that who are into men love me
I never understood that statement, and I've never heard of men saying it, or reading about men complaining about getting a super cutie, but not being able of keeping her. What if he doesn't want to keep her in the first place? Why is the other guy the winner? Why would he want to keep her?
And then you spend the rest of your life wondering if she's high on some very-high quality recreative drug to find you attractive, or you feel like she's cheating on you.
Why are we as a species so obsessed with monogamy when monogamy ain't even that normal to begin with. Lifelong monogamy? In the 21th century where every woman has 10000 social media profiles and gets hit thousands of times a day without even leaving her home? It's just a matter of time before he gets dumped. I know that there relationships that work, but the vast majority don't. Lack of desire. The end of the desire that was there. Getting cheated on. Cheating on. Aging. The loss of one's attractiveness, when you can no longer turn heads, attractive women no longer stare at you and check you out,gay men no longer offer you gifts. All that can vanish so quickly and it's scary.
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How well have Brad Pitt's relationships gone? Looks only take you so far, and no further.
It's not his fault the women he meets aren't interested in putting in the work to make the relationship work. Look at Pierce Brosnan, David Beckham, they've been together with their lives for over a generation. 20 years of marriage. Amazing.
At his age he has probably realized that nearly every relationship is transient and as such there is no point in investing emotionally, or financially although he might seem to do so, there are plenty of men who can put up a good front of being committed.
I know a 64 year old man whose life circles around doing that. He's not insecure nor is he worried about being cheated on because he's already doing that, he's giving every woman he meets and sleeps with the same treatment. Sweet, caring, dedicated. When one dumps him or cheats he just shrugs and goes on.
I was his first. He plans to be with me until one of us is dead. I've met his family, and we are planning to get married. He isn't insecure, because he has spent the last couple of decades watching his guy friends who at first seemed "successful with women" GET those women, and then dramatically and spectacularly fail to keep them. His guy buddies would talk about interactions with their wives, my boyfriend would actually empathize with the wife and try to give guy-friend advice, guy-friend would be like, "Nah, she's just stubborn, needs to see things my way!" or somesuch, and eventually...divorce. My boyfriend saw it coming a mile away, and listened to his buddy tell him how it was all her fault and blindsided him. When you try to give someone advice and they stubbornly insist on being blind...you can only have so much sympathy. Just having been able to think more clearly about how another person might wish to be treated, he knows very well that puts him leagues ahead of many men.
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Yes, you reject all of those guys, but that's you. You're one example out of millions of women with options, and even my friends who are extremely good-looking get cheated on. That old man you are dating has guts I give you that. Dating a woman who is young enough to be his daughter and who is more attractive than most of the women on relationship sites.
It's one of the reasons he wanted to date me. He wasn't attracted to most of the women who were interested in him. He feels like he hit the lottery. But...so do I.
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Yeah, that's the worst part of being in a relationship. The constant grinding, the constant work and the daily communication that women expect, and if you don't provide her with the entertainment, the validation, the fact that she's pretty and fit and young makes her able of finding herself a new boyfriend within the space of 5 minutes. More like 5 seconds.
If you see healthy relating as "grinding work" then...I don't know what to tell you. We entertain each other. The closest it comes to "grinding work" is when he listens to me vent about something that has me stressed...but then I repay the favor when he comes home freaking out and overthinking some problem he had at work. We do this "work" for one another. And then we thank our partner for hearing us, because it was something of value one person gives to another. Entertainment though. LOL! I think he's happy to have someone finally to play board games with. He's been collecting them for years, after all.
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Well.. yeah. He's almost a hundred years old. I would expect him to pick a trick or two, no? How come those other guys didn't know how to give you those sensations and experiences? Were they lazy? Were they so attractive they didn't care about their perfomance? I can't measure up to my friends, in terms of aesthetics, so I try to make up for it by being as attentive as possible and by taking my time. But I still do wonder who can turn them on the most, a dude like Sean O'Pry, or me, some random dude who puts effort into it.
Hey now. Almost 60, not almost 100. I'm 39 and he's 59. And again, when we met 3 years ago...I was his first. But he knows quite a bit about anatomy and you know, perhaps one of the biggest differences between him and a lot of men I know, is that he listens to women. Most of those "other guys" had egos too fragile to take instruction, they were like "You gotta check me out, I'm really good, I'll just give you what I've given all the other women...yeah...you liked that, didn't you?" After they do the same boring things that they all do. If another guy tries to pull this "alphabet" BS with me, I might become violent. It's not pleasurable, it's just annoying.
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Sure, but she doesn't know how good or how bad my skills might be, when I approach her, right? And if this guy approaches her, http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/73767...an-o%27pry.jpg why would she even care about how good he is in bed or not, when she can brag to her girlfriends that she banged a stunner?
He's not a stunner. But then, I'm not some 16 year old girl cutting out photos from Tiger Beat magazine anymore, either. You know who is sexy? Tyrion from Game of Thrones. I mean, I could do without the drinking, but the man knows things. "What things?" a lady wonders...
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The nuts and bolts of being a better partner? And what are those? A pretty man is never useless, as he can make beautiful children, and what woman doesn't want to have beautiful sons and daughters? It increases the chances of their sons being reproductively succsseful, and of having a happy romantic life.
Me! Hi. I didn't want kids. I actually am angry at my ex for impregnating me the first time around and suspect he tampered with our birth control. I was quite adamant that I did not want children--at all. Of course once I had a couple I did my best with that, like ya do, but still. The last thing on my mind is this evo-bio breeding foolishness, and that was the case when I was 18 as much as it is now. Then, I needed a capable adult to help me survive, because life was hard. Now, I require a stimulating companion. I am a 39 year old with tied tubes, I'll not be making any children, beautiful or otherwise.
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Trust me. It's a lot easier for my friends to get a relationship they are happy with than it is for me, because I ain't no Sean O'pry, my relationships take a lotta more effort and work, and in the end it's just a waste of time because I end up getting dumped for that guy. I was born with the wrong sexuality because guys like that who are into men love me
Are you sure you're not getting dumped because you're a pain in the butt? I mean you seem to think that even talking to a woman is "grinding work" and you're obsessed with looks, which makes you seem pretty shallow when you talk like that. Do all your friends look like Mr. Tiger Beat Boy Band guy? And if you are even trying to look like him, I could see why gay men might be into you. Just saying.
Last edited by Sonic_Spork; 07-05-2018 at 11:36 AM..
Sure, but she doesn't know how good or how bad my skills might be, when I approach her, right? And if this guy approaches her, http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/73767...an-o%27pry.jpgwhy would she even care about how good he is in bed or not, when she can brag to her girlfriends that she banged a stunner?
The nuts and bolts of being a better partner? And what are those? A pretty man is never useless, as he can make beautiful children, and what woman doesn't want to have beautiful sons and daughters? It increases the chances of their sons being reproductively succsseful, and of having a happy romantic life.
The loss of one's attractiveness, when you can no longer turn heads, attractive women no longer stare at you and check you out,gay men no longer offer you gifts. All that can vanish so quickly and it's scary.
You really don't understand much about adult women, do you?
I never understood that statement, and I've never heard of men saying it, or reading about men complaining about getting a super cutie, but not being able of keeping her. What if he doesn't want to keep her in the first place? Why is the other guy the winner? Why would he want to keep her?
And then you spend the rest of your life wondering if she's high on some very-high quality recreative drug to find you attractive, or you feel like she's cheating on you.
Why are we as a species so obsessed with monogamy when monogamy ain't even that normal to begin with. Lifelong monogamy? In the 21th century where every woman has 10000 social media profiles and gets hit thousands of times a day without even leaving her home? It's just a matter of time before he gets dumped. I know that there relationships that work, but the vast majority don't. Lack of desire. The end of the desire that was there. Getting cheated on. Cheating on. Aging. The loss of one's attractiveness, when you can no longer turn heads, attractive women no longer stare at you and check you out,gay men no longer offer you gifts. All that can vanish so quickly and it's scary.
It's not his fault the women he meets aren't interested in putting in the work to make the relationship work. Look at Pierce Brosnan, David Beckham, they've been together with their lives for over a generation. 20 years of marriage. Amazing.
Did you think I wouldn't see your edit?
In fact my boyfriend and I are no strangers to polyamory. I've been there and done that and it was interesting but not sustainable for me personally. I don't have time for it, to be blunt, and that's the best of several reasons I decided to go back to monogamy with this man. Given that he finally found a woman who meets his criteria and is happy with him, he wants monogamy with me, too. However, we have discussed it and have an option to renegotiate if we ever need to--either one of us. We have some flexibility with regard to monogamy. Cheating is not in the cards, we are honest, as neither of us are afraid to be honest. No need to lie.
Does it occur to you that the people involved in the celebrity marriages at the end of your post here, meaning both the men, and the women, might simply be more compatible or better skilled at relationships?
Frankly if I were into a guy, or had started a relationship with him, and he found me beautiful enough to be with, to be attracted to, but he was freaking out because that also meant other men would be chasing me and surely I'd choose someone else sooner or later... That whole mentality would be tiresome and overdramatic. I wouldn't want to live with it. No matter what the man looks like, if he's a constant irritation in my life, how can he expect I'll keep wanting him? That is what you call a self-fulfilling prophecy by the way. You believe you aren't good enough for your partner, so you shove them away with bad behavior and then howl to the heavens that you've been dumped and you're all alone. Well of course, how would you cope if your narrative ever failed to come true?
Frankly if I were into a guy, or had started a relationship with him, and he found me beautiful enough to be with, to be attracted to, but he was freaking out because that also meant other men would be chasing me and surely I'd choose someone else sooner or later... That whole mentality would be tiresome and overdramatic. I wouldn't want to live with it. No matter what the man looks like, if he's a constant irritation in my life, how can he expect I'll keep wanting him? That is what you call a self-fulfilling prophecy by the way. You believe you aren't good enough for your partner, so you shove them away with bad behavior and then howl to the heavens that you've been dumped and you're all alone. Well of course, how would you cope if your narrative ever failed to come true?
I don't think you understand how few attractive women there are who are still single, and how easy it is for them to replace a guy no matter how awesome he might be to them, and with hundreds of guys hitting on my ex-girlfriends, like it happened everyday, merely talking about the times we'd go out, it would only be a matter of time until I'd grown bigger horns than the christian depiction of Satan.
No matter how many people say otherwise, Chris Rock is spot on. Let a man lose his job and everything he worked for, and love goes out the window. His woman will NOT look at him the same way.
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