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part of me wants to say "leave it be", but another part says she deserves to know. For all he knows, she could have cheated. And by saying "i cheated", she might come clean. It will the one final test of their love. Sounds like they should get by and be okay though.
It is a difficult dilemma, which is why I have been hesitant to give concrete advice. I think he's pretty paralyzed with indecision and would like someone to tell him what to do.
I definitely don't think he has cold feet and is looking for a "way out" by fessing up to the past. At this point, he's pretty excited about being married to this woman. I think the relationship just started fairly uneventfully and then really blossomed into something that he was not expecting. As time has gone on, he's developed more respect and love for her. That's why it's so hard on him. He scared to death of ruining something that he doesn't think he'll find again, but he also respects and loves her now to the point where he feels he owes it to her provide full disclosure prior to "starting a life together".
I did think it was an interesting point that someone made about coming clean now or coming clean on your deathbed. If you really do love someone, and a relationship truly lasts a lifetime, will you ever really forget what you did and lied about? Even if you subsequently lived a perfect married life of love and devotion, it seems as though this would only make it more and more difficult to reconcile past indiscretions...both to yourself and the other party.
Hey.. you can chalk it up to just dating if thats what you want to do.. everyone has their own perception of how to handle things. If he is really that interested in keeping this together.. then the best advise is to keep it mum.. because once the cat is out of the bag.. the fireworks will fly.. and it will not be pretty..
I did think it was an interesting point that someone made about coming clean now or coming clean on your deathbed. If you really do love someone, and a relationship truly lasts a lifetime, will you ever really forget what you did and lied about? Even if you subsequently lived a perfect married life of love and devotion, it seems as though this would only make it more and more difficult to reconcile past indiscretions...both to yourself and the other party.
I think someone near the start made a very good point that it would be a selfish act to confess. Yes he's got a guilty conscience and probably always will have, so why inflict that knowledge on his girlfriend and transfer the pain? He'll feel better after the initial fall-out, but she won't.
I think if he loves her he should shut it and deal with it. That's his punishment.
Makes me wonder if he's trying to sabotage the upcoming wedding.
No good will come of a confession now. He needs to forgive himself and move on.
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Naw, are you all nuts.......????
