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Old 03-06-2018, 01:28 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634

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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Right.
I would think most people would simply have taken that comment to mean a young man would be less likely to have ED issues.
Gawd! Talk about drama! Making a mountain out of a molehill.


Perhaps, but again, people aren't dating cohorts. They date individuals. So, unless they plan to date the entire say 25-29 year old age class in a region, these tendencies mean absolutely nothing. They are not beneficial to the discussion.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:29 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Right.
I would think most people would simply have taken that comment to mean a young man would be less likely to have ED issues.
Gawd! Talk about drama! Making a mountain out of a molehill.
Yes, good grief, this is simple.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
I'm not so sure about that, but you could be right....
Telling him to "invest in some Viagra" is about the LEAST caring thing she could say.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:34 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Telling him to "invest in some Viagra" is about the LEAST caring thing she could say.
I agree. This guy is already embarrassed and this would only make things worse...IMO.

Now if they'd been married for 15 years or something, and this were a new issue and she were to quietly and lovingly sit down with him to broach the subject, talking about how she loved his satisfaction too...and how could they make that even better...that would be one thing.

But this isn't that kind of situation, he's obviously already defensive...I don't know...throwing "why don't you take ED pills" out there would probably really make him feel awful. Just not a great idea.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:37 PM
 
7,065 posts, read 12,301,652 times
Reputation: 6423
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Telling him to "invest in some Viagra" is about the LEAST caring thing she could say.
It's all about how you say it. A man needing "help" sometimes is no different from a woman needing lube sometimes. However, it's probably not a good topic if she hasn't committed to him yet....
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbancharlotte View Post
It's all about how you say it. A man needing "help" sometimes is no different from a woman needing lube sometimes.
It's a little different because it would require him to go the the doc and start taking prescription meds, as opposed to reaching over into a drawer and applying something topical.

Either way, that's not even the point.

If she cared about HIM, she could bring it up with loving concern. It's pretty clear she just wants him to be a human di1do (and I bet he is picking up on that), so "how she says it" is of little consequence.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:44 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919
I don't get why it's so shameful that this woman just wants sex without a relationship/commitment. Why is this really, really bad? I mean like the human D comment?

She's hurt, yeah, and angry, she said she wanted reassurance which is why I say that (plus her harsh commentary in reaction to his accusing her). But overall I don't see that the OP is being a bad person and I don't know why there should be this degree of shame toward a woman for wanting just sex at a particular time in her life...

And yeah, if it is just about sex then that, specifically, will be the deciding issue. Performance will actually be the deciding issue. That doesn't mean it always is, by any means, in every relationship but it stands to reason that if it's just sex, then that WILL be the issue...right?

I am just sad to see the shame thrown at the OP because she dares to want no-strings sex at a particular time in her life. I don't think she's tricking or fooling the guy and therefore "using" him against his will or anything (at least from what she's described), I don't see her as being a terrible person. I do see her striking out verbally...here, anonymously. I also see her stating a preference. In light of it being just physical I don't see it weird that her preferences would be physical too. Just my $0.02.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
6,830 posts, read 3,202,683 times
Reputation: 11576
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicTraveler21 View Post
Well the last two times it happened he sort of blamed it on me. I said I was about to orgasm and then he said he lost his momentum because I said that. The other time he said it was because I told him I wanted him to orgasm and so he felt thrown off track. Essentially, he blamed it on me which is totally lame. I've noticed he likes to play the victim so I don't know if bringing up the issue will even get us anywhere.

When it happens he just masturbates until he can get it going again but that sort of kills the mood for me.

Ugh, this is why I prefer younger guys.
The "Right" older guys have a LOT to offer! I think this person has many more problems (mental) then any physical problem. He may have that too, but the mental problem is major. It may be time to walk away.
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
6,830 posts, read 3,202,683 times
Reputation: 11576
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liledgy View Post
At 55, I may be an odd ball but I've never had a problem getting it up, ever.
Once I stopped drinking, no problem at all. 64 here. And yes CD guys are all studs!
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Old 03-06-2018, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I don't get why it's so shameful that this woman just wants sex without a relationship/commitment. Why is this really, really bad? I mean like the human D comment?

She's hurt, yeah, and angry, she said she wanted reassurance which is why I say that (plus her harsh commentary in reaction to his accusing her). But overall I don't see that the OP is being a bad person and I don't know why there should be this degree of shame toward a woman for wanting just sex at a particular time in her life...

And yeah, if it is just about sex then that, specifically, will be the deciding issue. Performance will actually be the deciding issue. That doesn't mean it always is, by any means, in every relationship but it stands to reason that if it's just sex, then that WILL be the issue...right?

I am just sad to see the shame thrown at the OP because she dares to want no-strings sex at a particular time in her life. I don't think she's tricking or fooling the guy and therefore "using" him against his will or anything (at least from what she's described), I don't see her as being a terrible person. I do see her striking out verbally...here, anonymously. I also see her stating a preference. In light of it being just physical I don't see it weird that her preferences would be physical too. Just my $0.02.
I didn't say her wanting sex is shameful.

Her attitude is pretty distasteful though.
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