He keeps losing his erection. (call, advice, experiences, relation)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
Right.
I would think most people would simply have taken that comment to mean a young man would be less likely to have ED issues.
Gawd! Talk about drama! Making a mountain out of a molehill.
Perhaps, but again, people aren't dating cohorts. They date individuals. So, unless they plan to date the entire say 25-29 year old age class in a region, these tendencies mean absolutely nothing. They are not beneficial to the discussion.
Right.
I would think most people would simply have taken that comment to mean a young man would be less likely to have ED issues.
Gawd! Talk about drama! Making a mountain out of a molehill.
Telling him to "invest in some Viagra" is about the LEAST caring thing she could say.
I agree. This guy is already embarrassed and this would only make things worse...IMO.
Now if they'd been married for 15 years or something, and this were a new issue and she were to quietly and lovingly sit down with him to broach the subject, talking about how she loved his satisfaction too...and how could they make that even better...that would be one thing.
But this isn't that kind of situation, he's obviously already defensive...I don't know...throwing "why don't you take ED pills" out there would probably really make him feel awful. Just not a great idea.
Telling him to "invest in some Viagra" is about the LEAST caring thing she could say.
It's all about how you say it. A man needing "help" sometimes is no different from a woman needing lube sometimes. However, it's probably not a good topic if she hasn't committed to him yet....
It's all about how you say it. A man needing "help" sometimes is no different from a woman needing lube sometimes.
It's a little different because it would require him to go the the doc and start taking prescription meds, as opposed to reaching over into a drawer and applying something topical.
Either way, that's not even the point.
If she cared about HIM, she could bring it up with loving concern. It's pretty clear she just wants him to be a human di1do (and I bet he is picking up on that), so "how she says it" is of little consequence.
I don't get why it's so shameful that this woman just wants sex without a relationship/commitment. Why is this really, really bad? I mean like the human D comment?
She's hurt, yeah, and angry, she said she wanted reassurance which is why I say that (plus her harsh commentary in reaction to his accusing her). But overall I don't see that the OP is being a bad person and I don't know why there should be this degree of shame toward a woman for wanting just sex at a particular time in her life...
And yeah, if it is just about sex then that, specifically, will be the deciding issue. Performance will actually be the deciding issue. That doesn't mean it always is, by any means, in every relationship but it stands to reason that if it's just sex, then that WILL be the issue...right?
I am just sad to see the shame thrown at the OP because she dares to want no-strings sex at a particular time in her life. I don't think she's tricking or fooling the guy and therefore "using" him against his will or anything (at least from what she's described), I don't see her as being a terrible person. I do see her striking out verbally...here, anonymously. I also see her stating a preference. In light of it being just physical I don't see it weird that her preferences would be physical too. Just my $0.02.
Well the last two times it happened he sort of blamed it on me. I said I was about to orgasm and then he said he lost his momentum because I said that. The other time he said it was because I told him I wanted him to orgasm and so he felt thrown off track. Essentially, he blamed it on me which is totally lame. I've noticed he likes to play the victim so I don't know if bringing up the issue will even get us anywhere.
When it happens he just masturbates until he can get it going again but that sort of kills the mood for me.
Ugh, this is why I prefer younger guys.
The "Right" older guys have a LOT to offer! I think this person has many more problems (mental) then any physical problem. He may have that too, but the mental problem is major. It may be time to walk away.
I don't get why it's so shameful that this woman just wants sex without a relationship/commitment. Why is this really, really bad? I mean like the human D comment?
She's hurt, yeah, and angry, she said she wanted reassurance which is why I say that (plus her harsh commentary in reaction to his accusing her). But overall I don't see that the OP is being a bad person and I don't know why there should be this degree of shame toward a woman for wanting just sex at a particular time in her life...
And yeah, if it is just about sex then that, specifically, will be the deciding issue. Performance will actually be the deciding issue. That doesn't mean it always is, by any means, in every relationship but it stands to reason that if it's just sex, then that WILL be the issue...right?
I am just sad to see the shame thrown at the OP because she dares to want no-strings sex at a particular time in her life. I don't think she's tricking or fooling the guy and therefore "using" him against his will or anything (at least from what she's described), I don't see her as being a terrible person. I do see her striking out verbally...here, anonymously. I also see her stating a preference. In light of it being just physical I don't see it weird that her preferences would be physical too. Just my $0.02.
I didn't say her wanting sex is shameful.
Her attitude is pretty distasteful though.
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