Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been mulling over a thought/question/concern pertaining to my current relationship with a wonderful Lady.
Now, some may think that this is a minor concern for a relationship...
- I feel that it's rather important [well, to me] and a key component to a successful relationship.
All my Life, I've noticed that most couples are usually about the same body type, height, weight etc.
My concern pertains to "Body Type".
"Body Type" is one of the main qualifiers when searching for a mate on all of the online dating sites.
'Body Types' would be classified as: slender, athletic/toned, normal, with a few extra pounds, etc.
Now, I am 5' 10" tall, and at present weight maybe 155Lbs. - (I've lost a good 10+ pounds over the last year, probably due to the untimely passing of my Dear Wife of 27 years, last March 29th. - I haven't eaten or slept properly ever since).
My Lady friend is 5' 8" tall, and of a 'stocky' build.
- I would never Dare to ask her weight [I value my Life too much...] and of course it wouldn't be proper.
- However, if I were to venture a guess, I'd say at least 160/170....God help me if it's MORE.
My late Irish Wife was a tiny little thing, of 5'4" and weighted about 105 dripping wet.
I used to be able to put my arm around her waist, and touch the other side of her.
I would have to say that all throughout my Life, every girlfriend that I ever had, [no more than 7] was roughly equivalent to my same body type, and I've never been with a Lady 'larger' than I.
With my new Lady friend, let's just say, "that Ain't gonna happen", and leave it there.
- Now my concern is for the Future...
IF/When we are both ready to become intimate, I have 'concerns' about that.
Am I being too crazy thinking about this???
- Please Folks, no jokes on this, ok?
- This truly is a concern for me.
Any comments/thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
Thank You All,
- Watch out there today & tomorrow everybody, Winter Storm Quinn looks like a Doozie!
Queue the old Manfred Mann song, "The Mighty Quinn".
CT2MEwoodnutt
P.S. - Thank God for our Great Forum here, where one can be 'anonymous' and pose a question. I probably could not verbalize my thoughts here, face to face with someone, you know?
I'm not sure what your concern is. Maybe you have several. I'll take a shot at responding.
-Is it OK that you're not attracted to this woman, if that's the case? Yes
-Does it seem odd that you were gaga for her a week ago, and you seem to have just now noticed she's not all that thin? Yes.
-Should you compare women you're dating to your deceased wife? No
-Could you be looking for a reason to bail, perhaps because you're not over your wife or perhaps because you're scared of your feelings, or both? Yes
I think the OP has concerns he's not voicing: the fact that many women start relationships at their best fighting weight and then once secure pack on pounds. In other words, If she's starting out heavy in weight, then there's nowhere to go but the overweight/fat zone.
Valid concern, OP, but don't blame you for choosing not to post about that one. (They'll eat you alive!)
Chances are she will continue to increase in weight as the relationship progresses. You've got to decide if you will find her attractive even so.
I doubt it judging from your stated history of preference.
I think the OP has concerns he's not voicing: the fact that many women start relationships at their best fighting weight and then it goes up from there. The hudden concern? If she's starting out heavy in weight, then there's nowhere to go but the overweight/fat zone. Valid concern, OP, but don't blame you for choosing not to post about that one. Chances are she will continue to increase in weight as the relationship progresses. You've got to decide if you will find her attractive even so. I doubt it judging from your stated history of preference.
Well again, he doesn't seem to have had such a concern 36 hours ago literally saying he felt like a teenager from anticipation; at which time I'm assuming she already weighed 170, unless she ate A LOT on their date.
The new woman is what, high end of normal BMI? Maybe very slightly overweight? If she's in her 60s, that's doing pretty darn good if you ask me.
If you are attracted to her face, her wit, her personality, her temperament, you may find yourself in love with her curves too, if you give her a chance.
I think women are more likely to overlook a body type that hasn't been their usual type so far, if everything else is good, but I think many men are capable.
It's possible she has the same concerns. Maybe she's always been smaller than her men, and prefers men with some meat on their bones, and is taking a chance on you?
I'm not sure what your concern is. Maybe you have several. I'll take a shot at responding.
-Is it OK that you're not attracted to this woman, if that's the case? Yes
-Does it seem odd that you were gaga for her a week ago, and you seem to have just now noticed she's not all that thin? Yes.
-Should you compare women you're dating to your deceased wife? No
-Could you be looking for a reason to bail, perhaps because you're not over your wife or perhaps because you're scared of your feelings, or both? Yes
Very good. I found myself doing that with a guy when IRL I just wasn't ready for a relationship. I would focus (to myself) on a mistake he made, or when his hair wasn't the way I liked it...or any number of things he couldn't control that would have been a non-issue, or maybe even adorable had I been ready for a relationship. It actually took me many years after divorce to have any kind of 'romantic' relationship. I had a lot to work on!
I think OP really likes this lady, maybe worded his post hastily.
I think the OP has concerns he's not voicing: the fact that many women start relationships at their best fighting weight and then once secure pack on pounds. In other words, If she's starting out heavy in weight, then there's nowhere to go but the overweight/fat zone.
Valid concern, OP, but don't blame you for choosing not to post about that one. (They'll eat you alive!)
Chances are she will continue to increase in weight as the relationship progresses. You've got to decide if you will find her attractive even so.
I doubt it judging from your stated history of preference.
Anyway, if the OP is going to pull a Brahmabull on us, and insist that he MUST have a slim, athletic partner, because he "deserves" it, because he works at staying trim, himself, well, he can go join Brahmabull in the Whining Room. Exit, Stage Left.
I don't think this is about his gf, though. I think this is about his wife. He needs to let her go, before there's room in his heart for someone else.
The OP was so incredibly over the moon about this woman before the date that he could hardly type straight. He was talking about how giddily nervous he was. He felt like a high school kid. And so on. Said his palms were sweaty. Eagerly wanted to know when he could kiss his date.
Got her on the dance floor even though he was terrified. But he was willing to "make a fool of himself" just to please her. ANYTHING to please this amazing date. He was practically bursting through the computer screen on this forum with eagerness.
Having already seen this woman (obviously.)
Then he realized he COULD have her. And now...oh wow. Maybe she's too fat. Like...out of nowhere. After all this half-hysterical Fred Astaire jumping all over the place and all-caps typing in eagerness like that of a 17-year-old before the date...
Come on, you guys. Pretty obvious what's going on here. OP isn't ready. He's deliberately putting the brakes on because now it's real. He's not ready.
If you haven't eaten or slept properly in the past year, following a grievous loss, you need to be tending to your emotional health, rather than dating.
The OP was so incredibly over the moon about this woman before the date that he could hardly type straight. He was talking about how giddily nervous he was. He felt like a high school kid. And so on. Said his palms were sweaty. Eagerly wanted to know when he could kiss his date.
Got her on the dance floor even though he was terrified. But he was willing to "make a fool of himself" just to please her. ANYTHING to please this amazing date. He was practically bursting through the computer screen on this forum with eagerness.
Having already seen this woman (obviously.)
Then he realized he COULD have her. And now...oh wow. Maybe she's too fat. Like...out of nowhere. After all this half-hysterical Fred Astaire jumping all over the place and all-caps typing in eagerness like that of a 17-year-old before the date...
Come on, you guys. Pretty obvious what's going on here. OP isn't ready. He's deliberately putting the brakes on because now it's real. He's not ready.
This is not about the woman's weight.
I wouldn't assume everyone has read all his posts.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
] and of course it wouldn't be proper.
After all this half-hysterical Fred Astaire jumping all over the place and all-caps typing in eagerness like that of a 17-year-old before the date...
