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* I'm only going to respond to your, valued response, on this topic.
Everyone else is getting the 'Tar & Feathers Out"...
Hi RbccL-
You know, I'm sorry that I Opened my Mouth, with this topic.
I'm really getting BEAT UP over this thought...
To start off here, let me make something crystal clear for everyone...
YES, I CARE for this Lady very much.
She is absolutely the most intellectually interesting Lady that I have ever had to opportunity to meet.
Her Education, knowledge and eloquence when speaking just blows me away.
Her intelligence actually intimidates me, a little.
We talk on the phone every evening anywhere from 2 - 4 HOURS.
We can communicate easily, and can talk about anything.
We have many similarities throughout our Lives.
She's freakin' drop dead gorgeous with sapphire blue eyes, and blonde hair.
Am I 'falling in Love with her, yes, I am.......but can't mention it to her, so early on.
Am I over my late Wife yet, NO I am not, and yes, and I know it 110%.
I never will be...
How could I?
We spent 40 YEARS together, and I knew her as long as my late Mother.
I suppose that I should have just kept this thought to myself, just shut up, internalized it, keep it to myself and just deal with it in my own way, as I have always done in my Life.
I really don't need all of the 'slings & arrows' which are flying my way with this one.
To me, 'body size' is probably 25% of the 'entire equation' in a relationshonship.
OK, yes, I'm comparing her to my petite late Wife.
Please, people, that is the ONLY 'baseline comparison' that I HAVE.
I'm really N-O-T actually comparing her to my Wife.
Everyone is different, and unique.
I'm NOT 'that guy' that many here on our Great Forum I believe THINK that I am...
That being, "a very choosy guy, looking for a 'carbon copy' of my late Wife".
I AM NOT.
I suppose that I am 'projecting' my concerns here, towards the future in our relationship...
If and when [I'm in NO hurry] we get to the point where we get intimate, just how is this going to work out?
-Ladies reading this.....please how can I explain my concerns [worries] and not sound nuts?
-Say that you're a Woman who is smallish, and are dating a guy who's WAY larger in body size than you, and is much heavier.-
Wouldn't YOU have at least a passing concern, similar to mine, about this?
And really, my comparison about this isn't only based on my late Wife's size.
In my entire Life of going out with girls, I've never dated anyone much larger than I.
I don't know any other words to try to 'delicately' and being 'politically correct' here, to describe/explain my concerns.
- I really like this girl and she likes me.
- I would NEVER use her, and I would NEVER hurt her.
- I am NOT like that, and never have been.
Believe me, I've been screwed over and had my heart ripped right out of my chest, more times that I could count.
I REALLY appreciate and value YOUR input on my quandary here RccL!
and I Thank You.
I'm going to go and hide under my Rock now.....
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!
CT2MEwoodnutt
After all that you still haven't asked a question or explained exactly what your "concerns" are.
-Say that you're a Woman who is smallish, and are dating a guy who's WAY larger in body size than you, and is much heavier.-
Wouldn't YOU have at least a passing concern, similar to mine, about this?
OP, I was one of the posters who did not sling arrows.
Think about it this:
You were way larger than your petite wife, and things were still good, right?
After kids she’s likely headed to a deuce to deuce a half. If you’re sensitive to weight now you won’t love the family years. It’s a natural part of physiology for this to happen but good for you to know.
I think you're overanalyzing OP. Your attraction to this woman is strong, enough to overcome whatever size difference there is. Why not enjoy things? So she's maybe 15 lbs bigger than you. That is not unusual and is definitely not "WAY larger". You're getting the arrows because you're "concerned" about a number - that you don't even know at that. The are far more important things to be concerned about. When "the time" comes, hopefully you'll be so hot for each other and in the moment that you're not going to pay attention to such trivial things. No one is perfection. What's important is that she reciprocates your feelings, enjoys your company, and vice versa. Most of my guys have been burly, so they've always been bigger than me. My husband of almost 15 years has a football build that's kind of become "dad bod" and he's overweight. Still awesome, clothed or not. We still have an active sex life (and the light's on).
My husband of almost 15 years has a football build that's kind of become "dad bod" and he's overweight. Still awesome, clothed or not. We still have an active sex life (and the light's on).
That CAN'T be true! All of the inexperienced virgin guys on here tell us relationship pros that this is impossible!
She is absolutely the most intellectually interesting Lady that I have ever had to opportunity to meet.
Her Education, knowledge and eloquence when speaking just blows me away.
Her intelligence actually intimidates me, a little.
We talk on the phone every evening anywhere from 2 - 4 HOURS.
We can communicate easily, and can talk about anything.
We have many similarities throughout our Lives.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!
CT2MEwoodnutt
I'm surprised you stepped back into the snakepit, CT2ME.
You may have felt like you were asking for stories or advice about dating someone different than you're used to, but mention a woman's weight and you might as well have served hot buttered kittens. It's strange, had it been reversed and you said you're used to big beautiful women, and what do we think of this new woman being a skinny little thing, people would have cheered, some men would have told you that you won a prize...say that shes bigger than you're used to, and ...duck.
Oh well, lesson learned, right?
Its easy to see you really like this lady! You got lucky, have fun, (and don't mention her size, she's actually quite average).
I'm surprised you stepped back into the snakepit, CT2ME.
You may have felt like you were asking for stories or advice about dating someone different than you're used to, but mention a woman's weight and you might as well have served hot buttered kittens. It's strange, had it been reversed and you said you're used to big beautiful women, and what do we think of this new woman being a skinny little thing, people would have cheered, some men would have told you that you won a prize...say that shes bigger than you're used to, and ...duck.
Oh well, lesson learned, right?
Its easy to see you really like this lady! You got lucky, have fun, (and don't mention her size, she's actually quite average).
Nah...I have definitely seen that on here as well...a guy "admitting" he likes bigger women, and men and women alike coming down on him...the women because he's objectifying the woman and judging her on her size and what if she were to lose weight? - and the men basically telling the dude he's mental.
Which...well, pretty much covers EVERY shaming base. Like...nobody's missed out on, there. At least it's equal opportunity shaming.
For my part, I have no issue with the OP thinking the woman is overweight...if he had already felt that way. He didn't. He was giddy as a schoolgirl skipping down the lane in one of those 1920s sailor suits holding a lollipop until he actually had the kiss and it was real, then he went "OMG, wait! - this woman's fat." (lightbulb; choir sings revelatory two-note in background) He says he's still grieving, it's obvious that's true...I honestly just don't think it's time yet for OP.
But OP will make that decision himself. I just think it really really bears thinking about. 'Cause this 180 was whiplash-worthy and that's gotta mean something.
* I'm only going to respond to your, valued response, on this topic.
Everyone else is getting the 'Tar & Feathers Out"...
Hi RbccL-
You know, I'm sorry that I Opened my Mouth, with this topic.
I'm really getting BEAT UP over this thought...
To start off here, let me make something crystal clear for everyone...
YES, I CARE for this Lady very much.
She is absolutely the most intellectually interesting Lady that I have ever had to opportunity to meet.
Her Education, knowledge and eloquence when speaking just blows me away.
Her intelligence actually intimidates me, a little.
We talk on the phone every evening anywhere from 2 - 4 HOURS.
We can communicate easily, and can talk about anything.
We have many similarities throughout our Lives.
She's freakin' drop dead gorgeous with sapphire blue eyes, and blonde hair.
Am I 'falling in Love with her, yes, I am.......but can't mention it to her, so early on.
Am I over my late Wife yet, NO I am not, and yes, and I know it 110%.
I never will be...
How could I?
We spent 40 YEARS together, and I knew her as long as my late Mother.
I suppose that I should have just kept this thought to myself, just shut up, internalized it, keep it to myself and just deal with it in my own way, as I have always done in my Life.
I really don't need all of the 'slings & arrows' which are flying my way with this one.
To me, 'body size' is probably 25% of the 'entire equation' in a relationshonship.
OK, yes, I'm comparing her to my petite late Wife.
Please, people, that is the ONLY 'baseline comparison' that I HAVE.
I'm really N-O-T actually comparing her to my Wife.
Everyone is different, and unique.
I'm NOT 'that guy' that many here on our Great Forum I believe THINK that I am...
That being, "a very choosy guy, looking for a 'carbon copy' of my late Wife".
I AM NOT.
I suppose that I am 'projecting' my concerns here, towards the future in our relationship...
If and when [I'm in NO hurry] we get to the point where we get intimate, just how is this going to work out?
-Ladies reading this.....please how can I explain my concerns [worries] and not sound nuts?
-Say that you're a Woman who is smallish, and are dating a guy who's WAY larger in body size than you, and is much heavier.-
Wouldn't YOU have at least a passing concern, similar to mine, about this?
And really, my comparison about this isn't only based on my late Wife's size.
In my entire Life of going out with girls, I've never dated anyone much larger than I.
I don't know any other words to try to 'delicately' and being 'politically correct' here, to describe/explain my concerns.
- I really like this girl and she likes me.
- I would NEVER use her, and I would NEVER hurt her.
- I am NOT like that, and never have been.
Believe me, I've been screwed over and had my heart ripped right out of my chest, more times that I could count.
I REALLY appreciate and value YOUR input on my quandary here RccL!
and I Thank You.
I'm going to go and hide under my Rock now.....
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!
CT2MEwoodnutt
OP, IIRC, you said you weight 155. You guesstimated that she weighs 165-170. So, she's 10 lbs. more than you. That is not "much larger" than you. You're 2" taller than she is. And surely you're stronger than she is; men generally are stronger than women. So what are you concerned about? She's not obese; she's not going to crush you. You're the one with the superior height and the muscles.
This sounds like an odd thing to worry about, but...whatever.
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