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Am I over my late Wife yet, NO I am not, and yes, and I know it 110%.
I never will be...
How could I?
We spent 40 YEARS together, and I knew her as long as my late Mother.
You don't need to be "over" your late wife. Depending on your definition of that, it may never happen and doesn't necessarily need to.
You do need to be in a place where you're dealing with grief healthily, though. It is garbage to bring another person in when you're still spiraling through the early stages of grief cycles. You're not in a place where you can give another person a fair shake.
The fact that you point out that you haven't eaten or slept properly in the past year is telling.
I'm surprised you stepped back into the snakepit, CT2ME.
You may have felt like you were asking for stories or advice about dating someone different than you're used to, but mention a woman's weight and you might as well have served hot buttered kittens. It's strange, had it been reversed and you said you're used to big beautiful women, and what do we think of this new woman being a skinny little thing, people would have cheered, some men would have told you that you won a prize...say that shes bigger than you're used to, and ...duck.
Oh well, lesson learned, right?
Its easy to see you really like this lady! You got lucky, have fun, (and don't mention her size, she's actually quite average).
I went skiing today at Black Mtn in Rumford, in Pristine Fresh Powder!
It was so pure and beautiful that it was almost "Holy" to me, I'm not crazy-religious but I'm Catholic....so is my lady friend.
She met me there after her work and we shared a drink and a snack.
She baked me about 1/2 different things (!!!) yesterday, during the Blizzard.
We're going dancing Saturday night, then on Sunday she is driving the 1/2 hour down to my house, for the first time, and I cooking dinner.
You don't need to be "over" your late wife. Depending on your definition of that, it may never happen and doesn't necessarily need to.
You do need to be in a place where you're dealing with grief healthily, though. It is garbage to bring another person in when you're still spiraling through the early stages of grief cycles. You're not in a place where you can give another person a fair shake.
The fact that you point out that you haven't eaten or slept properly in the past year is telling.
THIS.
You don't seem ready to me, for dating yet. You do this nice lady a great disservice . How could you be in love with her when you've had one date????
You remind me of some people post divorce, who capture the first person to come along to have a relationship with, have sex with, and try and offset the pain they feel...by thinking they are in love with this new person in their lives.
Some of the posters on your thread are mental health professionals....perhaps a visit to one might help you clarify if you are in love or just hoping to cover your pain without working through the grief process. There is no way around it, you must go through it.
You don't seem ready to me, for dating yet. You do this nice lady a great disservice . How could you be in love with her when you've had one date????
You remind me of some people post divorce, who capture the first person to come along to have a relationship with, have sex with, and try and offset the pain they feel...by thinking they are in love with this new person in their lives.
Some of the posters on your thread are mental health professionals....perhaps a visit to one might help you clarify if you are in love or just hoping to cover your pain without working through the grief process. There is no way around it, you must go through it.
You're probably right. But maybe this questioning, as odd as it seems to many of us, is the OP's way of processing the past year and his loss. And when I say odd, I find it odd to post this publicly rather than process it privately. Atypical maybe more than odd. But if we look at the OP's comments as though we were privy to his private thoughts and emotions, then it makes more sense as perhaps the last step in dealing with an understandable conflict. That conflict being little or nothing about her weight and rather all about whether he's somehow being disloyal to his late wife or their long marriage by having feelings for a new woman.
You don't seem ready to me, for dating yet. You do this nice lady a great disservice . How could you be in love with her when you've had one date????
You remind me of some people post divorce, who capture the first person to come along to have a relationship with, have sex with, and try and offset the pain they feel...by thinking they are in love with this new person in their lives.
Some of the posters on your thread are mental health professionals....perhaps a visit to one might help you clarify if you are in love or just hoping to cover your pain without working through the grief process. There is no way around it, you must go through it.
This. OP, you're in denial of your own pain. Suggestions you see a grief specialists were prompted mainly by the symptoms you presented, not so much by the fact that you seemed to be comparing your current interest with your late wife. But, whatever. It's your life. Just don't be surprised if your strategy of distracting yourself with a new love interest doesn't work out, or improve your sleep.
most couples i see are about the same body type...
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking
Wait what?
That has to apply to a very narrow range of lighter/thinner people.
I mean for example I'm 6'4 and about 250-260 lbs. I wouldn't go out there looking for a 260 lb woman for a girlfriend, I can tell you that.
My current love interest/dating partner is about 130 lbs, although she feels lighter when I've carried her briefly so roughly half my weight, we're both in fairly healthy shape.
A lot of women will immediately think "yuck" or other bad things about what I'm about to write next but you have a summarizing tool for all physical concerns right between your legs.
Just listen to your boner, it will tell you everything you need to know about the womans body type, weight etc.
Then the only question is, does she feel the same?
I have many friends who are a couple, married or not.
I have tall, larger frame friends, both married, very similar in weight and height.
I have smaller, thinner framed friends, married, both very similar weight and height.
Yes, of course some others don't fit into this 'similar' category.
One couple is quite the opposite.
The girl is 6' 2", thin & athletic, her husband must be 5' 2" and a bit chunky.
(I mean, he must need a STEP LADDER when they make love, you know)?
My observation was only THAT...
One of Life's observations, that's all.
I'm confident that my Lady Friend and I won't have any issues.
I Thank You for your good knowledge and input to my concerns, here.
Yes, you are right about my late Wife.
(Ummmm, I DID have to be a bit careful if I 'assumed the top position' [if you will] when we got intimate.
I really tried to not put all of my weight on her, and would kind of support myself on my elbows.
SHE asked me to do that...
I am confident that my Lady Friend and I won't have any issues.
Thank You!
CT2MEwoodnutt.....Blushing as I type this.....
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Hi RbccL-
