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With the advent of popular dating sites/apps like Tinder, women dating 3 guys at once is the norm. Maybe I'm a prude but I have a problem with this.
That was always the norm.
Perhaps you don't understand the purpose of dating.
The purpose of dating is to meet as many people as you can, more often than not to people to whom you are physically attracted.
Dating is a light-hearted affair, going on picnics, strolling through the park or museums, volunteering in the community, attending sporting and musical events and the like. As you spend time conversing with your date, you come to realize that either have commonalities, or you don't.
For those you have nothing in common, politely inform them that you're no longer interested and move on. For those with whom you have common interests, now you begin to look at things like personality traits, and their ethics, morals and values (unless those flaws were fatal from the start).
For those who violate your code of ethics, morals and values, or whose personality traits are insufferable or intolerable, politely tell them you no longer have an interest and move on.
For those who meet your standards, now you start exploring life-goals.
If the girl you are dating has a keen interest in her career, you'll have to accept the possibility that she may be transferred to another city in another State. If you have no interest in relocating, then politely tell her you no longer have any interest and move. You might find someone who has a burning desire to live in the big city, or in a rural area, which is contrary to where you want to live, so politely tell them you're no longer interested and move on.
Where you find your life-goals are the same as your date's, or where the life-goals of you both are able to be mutually supportive, then that's when you ask to move your relationship from mere dating, to something that is mutually exclusive: you're now boyfriend-girlfriend.
Your focus now is building the relationship until such time as you become engaged to be married.
It's not rocket science.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshFresh
I've never dated 3 women at once so I wouldn't be interested in a woman doing so. I think it could be a challenge nowadays to still find young wholesome women.
Well, then you are wasting valuable time.
If you think someone is going to jump into an exclusive relationship with you on the first date, then you're kidding yourself, and any woman who would do that, is obviously co-dependent and in need of a good therapist.
Dating shouldn’t be synonymous with sleeping with. So let me ask the obvious, do you think a man should be shamed for sleeping with three women? There should be no difference. If you think there is that’s your problem.
Be honest; dating & sleeping is THE point, according to my best buddy. He'd always ask me when I met a girl (in guy terms, so far be it from ok on CD to say it his way) but you get the gist re "dating", ahem.
Ok, anyway, if she's bed hopping then w/ STD's, jealousy, nutjobs, & general stresses prevail -- why in hell would you want be w her or any of them? Ok, just my .02.
Lastly, men were always looked on a virile if multiple girls but women as ho's, period. Still today this is so. Oldschool or not, it is true. Ask 90% of the pop over 30 & see if I'm right. LOL
Be honest; dating & sleeping is THE point, according to my best buddy. He'd always ask me when I met a girl (in guy terms, so far be it from ok on CD to say it his way) but you get the gist re "dating", ahem.
Ok, anyway, if she's bed hopping then w/ STD's, jealousy, nutjobs, & general stresses prevail -- why in hell would you want be w her or any of them? Ok, just my .02.
Lastly, men were always looked on a virile if multiple girls but women as ho's, period. Still today this is so. Oldschool or not, it is true. Ask 90% of the pop over 30 & see if I'm right. LOL
I'd like to put in my poll response as a 39 year old American. It's not true. You're not right.
It's an opinion. Many people hold that opinion. Many don't. It is clear what you believe, it is less clear why your beliefs should be taken as though they are absolute truth for everyone.
It's like a Republican whose friends are all Republicans, saying that everyone is a Republican. Or a Christian, or an atheist who only hangs with other atheists. Not everyone is like you and/or your friends. It's a big ol' free country, ya know.
I see this opinion too - girls who sleep with X amount of guys are bad, but guys who sleep with X amount of girls are normal - but I tend to ONLY see it on the internet. IMO, any guy born later than like the 1940 tends to not have this opinion. They don't outright say it, it's not like I sit around the family Christmas table asking "so who here would take a woman seriously if she'd done more than 8 guys?" or something. But I KNOW most of the people in my family and among my friends of parallel age to mine, or a little older, and certainly younger, have coupled long-term (and/or have married) women who were "active" and not prudes at all...just like them.
It's weird to see these very very backward views expressed on the internet when in practice, in real life, there's generally no scorecard, and pretty much no "what? she's been with another guy or two - maybe MORE than that - I can't seriously date her" stuff except maybe for a very small faction of the very religious who themselves were virgins at marriage. (But married pretty young.) The double-standard thing...just...no. Not in any sort of practical, real-world, actual-dating way.
I would not overall fear this judgment in the "real" world (if you will - or, the "analog" world, LOL). I really think it's in the Lurker's Corner of the internet - you know, that faction that always crawls out to try to push buttons, then crawls back in again. Among actually successful (relationship-wise...meaning, they're able to be in one, and operate in one) people I know, nobody really thinks this way.;
With the advent of popular dating sites/apps like Tinder, women dating 3 guys at once is the norm. Maybe I'm a prude but I have a problem with this. Guys are rendered disposable. I've heard conversations where women talk about quickly swiping left and how dating sites/apps are pointless to them. I think dating sites/apps are just a tool for women to catch a big fish. If you aren't a big fish you are tossed back into the water. Thus, the modern dating scene is largely diluted.
I've never dated 3 women at once so I wouldn't be interested in a woman doing so. I think it could be a challenge nowadays to still find young wholesome women.
Dating or sleeping with? Multiple dating to decide which one is right is acceptable Sleeping with all 3 could be a red flag.
Besides. I don't see any particular magic specialness that I'd need, being the only woman he said some joke or anecdote to, or the only one he had ice cream with at this cute little cafe. I don't care if he does the same things with me he's done with others. That doesn't make me feel any less, or that I'm replaceable. Other women don't affect whether a man finds me a particularly good match, or not. That's between me and him.
See here you, I believe you talked yourself through what our differences are.
I need magical specialness, The Only Girl in the World thing. I don't feel bad or mentally ill about it either, I just get to.
With the advent of popular dating sites/apps like Tinder, women dating 3 guys at once is the norm. Maybe I'm a prude but I have a problem with this. Guys are rendered disposable. I've heard conversations where women talk about quickly swiping left and how dating sites/apps are pointless to them. I think dating sites/apps are just a tool for women to catch a big fish. If you aren't a big fish you are tossed back into the water. Thus, the modern dating scene is largely diluted.
I've never dated 3 women at once so I wouldn't be interested in a woman doing so. I think it could be a challenge nowadays to still find young wholesome women.
I always assume a girl I just met has 2 or 3 guys on the hook. Especially if she is very attractive. Thinking anything different is being naive. I’m not saying I assume she is sleeping with all these guys, just dating them.
I always assume a girl I just met has 2 or 3 guys on the hook. Especially if she is very attractive. Thinking anything different is being naive. I’m not saying I assume she is sleeping with all these guys, just dating them.
Yup.
I always assume they have at least 1 other guy on the hook, maybe 2.
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They don't outright say it, it's not like I sit around the family Christmas table asking "so who here would take a woman seriously if she'd done more than 8 guys?" or something. But I KNOW most of the people in my family and among my friends of parallel age to mine, or a little older, and certainly younger, have coupled long-term (and/or have married) women who were "active" and not prudes at all...just like them.
