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I agree with Sonic on the good girl v. total ho thing. I think MOST people fall between these two extremes. But these "questions" always evolve into extremes. "Well, what if a woman is sleeping with three guys twice a week each so that she's not even 'clean' in between even if she showered..." Cheeses, people have lives. These scenarios are so incredibly unlikely as any sort of larger thing.
Now of course the old "I personally know women who have at least 4 dinner dates a week for free food" saw is being dragged out of the closet. Predictably. Apparently nobody spreading this hyperbole has ever actually attempted such a thing in any sort of practical, ongoing way. I can't imagine doing so myself. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to get ready for a date, find the location, park...have the meal...wrap things up...go home, get all unbuttoned, undone and the makeup off...all this after a day of work? Or even if one or two is on the weekend...it all takes time. On top of searching out the guys and so on...
Unless you're choosing princesses who simply don't work (they're an extreme minority too, just look at women's employment stats), OR total weirdos who have absolutely no life whatsoever outside of working on scoping out new "marks" to feed you four days a week, come on. Don't NOBODY have time for that ish. LOL. Come now. After work? And in between having to do laundry, deal with friends...family...do the grocery shopping, clean the apartment, and the rest of real life?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Who the hell has the time????
Don't people have jobs and stuff like that?
Sure, but some people have time like that. The poly people I know basically their lives outside of work is socializing. But even with non poly people, some people date most nights, some people go see bands, or go to poetry events, whatever... its just a lifestyle preference. There are 7 nights a week afterall.
I agree with Sonic on the good girl v. total ho thing. I think MOST people fall between these two extremes. But these "questions" always evolve into extremes. "Well, what if a woman is sleeping with three guys twice a week each so that she's not even 'clean' in between even if she showered..." Cheeses, people have lives. These scenarios are so incredibly unlikely as any sort of larger thing.
Now of course the old "I personally know women who have at least 4 dinner dates a week for free food" saw is being dragged out of the closet. Predictably. Apparently nobody spreading this hyperbole has ever actually attempted such a thing in any sort of practical, ongoing way. I can't imagine doing so myself. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to get ready for a date, find the location, park...have the meal...wrap things up...go home, get all unbuttoned, undone and the makeup off...all this after a day of work? Unless you're choosing princesses who simply don't work (they're an extreme minority too, just look at women's employment stats), come on. Don't NOBODY have time for that ish. LOL. Come now.
Man, I WISH I had that kind of time/energy. Like even if I had all 7 nights a week free, and even given the fact that everyone who knows me seems to think I am the most extroverted person on the planet, I still want, at least half the time, if I have a choice as to staying in or going out, to have some quiet "me time" at home with a book, puzzle, or maybe a computer game or something. I'm too old even at 39 to be burning the candle at both ends.
If I had that kind of time and social energy though, I'd be giving my platonic friends more of it, that's for sure. I don't miss dating, but I long for dinners and movies with gal pals. But we're all busy adults. *sigh* Tired, busy adults.
Sure, but some people have time like that. The poly people I know basically their lives outside of work is socializing. But even with non poly people, some people date most nights, some people go see bands, or go to poetry events, whatever... its just a lifestyle preference. There are 7 nights a week afterall.
Poly people are a minority of a total, as we all know.
The thread assumes MANY women juggle this many ROTATING relationships. Not that they are all in a poly understanding together.
Man, I WISH I had that kind of time/energy. Like even if I had all 7 nights a week free, and even given the fact that everyone who knows me seems to think I am the most extroverted person on the planet, I still want, at least half the time, if I have a choice as to staying in or going out, to have some quiet "me time" at home with a book, puzzle, or maybe a computer game or something. I'm too old even at 39 to be burning the candle at both ends.
If I had that kind of time and social energy though, I'd be giving my platonic friends more of it, that's for sure. I don't miss dating, but I long for dinners and movies with gal pals. But we're all busy adults. *sigh* Tired, busy adults.
Oh no, but Sonic, you're wrong! You, who ARE poly, are wrong about polys - Timber has just told you so. Basically, your life outside of work is socializing. Piece of cake!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Poly people are a minority of a total, as we all know.
The thread assumes MANY women juggle this many ROTATING relationships. Not that they are all in a poly understanding together.
Sure, but the dynamics aren't any different. Going out on 3 first dates a week, isn't any different from going on a 1st, a 4th, and a 20th with three different people. That isn't uncommon really. Some people do more, some less. Some instead of dates spend more time with friends. It's the same time that is spent socializing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Oh no, but Sonic, you're wrong! You, who ARE poly, are wrong about polys - Timber has just told you so. Basically, your life outside of work is socializing. Piece of cake!
I didn't tell anyone anything, and certainly I didn't tell her anything, and I believe Sonic is in a monogamous relationship right now.
Sure, but the dynamics aren't any different. Going out on 3 first dates a week, isn't any different from going on a 1st, a 4th, and a 20th with three different people. That isn't uncommon really. Some people do more, some less.
I didn't tell anyone anything, and certainly I didn't tell her anything, and I believe Sonic is in a monogamous relationship right now.
Poly relationships, while legitimate relationships, are a minority of total relationships and this thread assumes not "polys" per se but simply multiple daters, who may or may not even be telling their other "dates" they had sex just yesterday. In fact, that's the repeat terror stated all over this thread...that maybe she had sex yesterday and the new date would never know it.
"The polys you know" may for whatever reason have much more energy than non-polys (that's odd, both are human beings, but okay), but MOST people who have jobs and lives don't juggle four DIFFERENT dates, revolving, maybe not knowing one another, sex with each, every week "for food" as described. It is a logistical nightmare. It is VERY UNREALISTIC as some sort of larger concern. Very.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Poly relationships, while legitimate relationships, are a minority of total relationships and this thread assumes not "polys" per se but simply multiple daters, who may or may not even be telling their other "dates" they had sex just yesterday. In fact, that's the repeat terror stated all over this thread...that maybe she had sex yesterday and the new date would never know it.
"The polys you know" may for whatever reason have much more energy than non-polys (that's odd, both are human beings, but okay), but MOST people who have jobs and lives don't juggle four DIFFERENT dates, revolving, maybe not knowing one another, sex with each, every week "for food" as described. It is a logistical nightmare. It is VERY UNREALISTIC as some sort of larger concern. Very.
Why are you focusing on poly people? The dynamics are no different. You don't think people socialize 2-3-4 nights/days (weekends) a week commonly? That isn't much.
It's weird you're so keyed in on that (the world poly). It really makes no difference. I'm not poly and it is really immaterial to the discussion. This is nothing logistically difficult about making plans to do stuff with people three or four nights a week. Nothing at all.
Why are you focusing on poly people? The dynamics are no different. You don't think people socialize 2-3-4 nights/days (weekends) a week commonly? That isn't much.
It's weird you're so keyed in on that. It really makes no difference.
I am "focusing" my responses to your bringing up poly, on poly.
It's not weird that I'm answering you in your own context. Not sure I follow? Or why you find it weird that I answered your comment? Is there some way I can clarify?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I am "focusing" my responses to your bringing up poly, on poly.
It's not weird that I'm answering you in your own context. Not sure I follow?
It's just weird that you think the dynamics are different. Going out 3-4 times a week, or more, isn't unsual. It doesn't matter if it is a first date, a platonic friend, going to see a band alone, or a 15th day, or whatever. Yes, the poly people I see are pretty extreme in socializing, they are often out every single night. Personally, I can't do that, but it is also not very relevant to the issue at hand. Dating a few people (first dates or 20th dates) isn't difficult or very unusual for people with full time jobs.
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Not sure I follow? Or why you find it weird that I answered your comment? Is there some way I can clarify?
