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Can you imagine the awkward silence if it was lunch or dinner?
They still sat at a table together for an hour. At least if they had ordered a meal they would have had something else to talk about .
I don't see the big deal about all the guys objecting to a coffee date. Some people apparently attach a lot of romantic significance to a meal, so "coffee" is a less intimate way for total strangers to meet up and see how things go in person. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm still not really clear on the OP's description of how he acted disinterested the minute he saw her. How do you know he was not interested, OP? Maybe he was nervous? Then you say he kept trying to "awkwardly" continue the conversation. It doesn't really match up.
I don't see the big deal about all the guys objecting to a coffee date. Some people apparently attach a lot of romantic significance to a meal, so "coffee" is a less intimate way for total strangers to meet up and see how things go in person. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm still not really clear on the OP's description of how he acted disinterested the minute he saw her. How do you know he was not interested, OP? Maybe he was nervous? Then you say he kept trying to "awkwardly" continue the conversation. It doesn't really match up.
No coffee dates for me either, If they cant agree to anything else, I just won't be going. Not everyone goes to coffee shops, and the kind of guy I like probably isn't found in one. The fast food guy was lesson enough.
I was wondering if I did the right thing by dragging the date into 1 hour or I should've left right after sensing
his disappointment/disinterest.
I would have asked if he wanted to continue since you sensed his apprehension. Personally I would not make small talk for an hour with someone and give them the impression that I am interested when in fact I'm not feeling it. Waste of time on both ends.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
35,629 posts, read 17,961,729 times
Reputation: 50652
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingo111
I've posted a few pictures. Most of them are a few months old... I did have 2 pictures there that's from 2 years ago but I don't think I've changed that much in 2 years.. same weight and stuff.
I didn't lie about anything either... I'm relatively slim.. 5'4 and 115ibs. Regularly work out. Long hair.
Dingo, this is confusing. I do know that people post pics of themselves that are purposely deceptive, but it doesn't sound like you did that here. Everyone would choose flattering vs. unflattering pics, which is what it sounds like you did.
Can you show the pictures to a friend and ask if they look like you? I have seen pics of friends that I really don't recognize them in - at all - and decline saying is that actually you? because the picture is so much more attractive than they are in person.
I can't imagine someone being that different from the pics, unless they were using a 10-yr-old photo, or something. The un-photogenic people often turn out to be better-looking than their pics. IDK how someone could look worse than their pics.
Some people look photogenic and attractive in pics, but when see them in person the physical presence is totally different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGal7
I had a weird OLD date myself years ago. We met for coffee and it seemed like we got along fine. Or at least it looked like he was fine. He wasn't giving any signals that he was unhappy. I excused myself to visit the ladies room and when I came back his entire demeanor had changed! He had picked up a newspaper that was sitting at the next table and was reading it and barely acknowledged that I was back. So when he started acting so weird I said thanks for meeting me and I left. Never heard from him again. No idea wtf happened there.
This is really weird off. I'm guessing maybe you were away for too long and he got impatient and pissed.
Nothing wrong with coffee for a first meeting. It's not really even a "date". You're meeting in person to see if you're both more or less what you appear to be from the dating site, to see if there's a little click in person. That's it, nothing complicated.
They're not all going to go well.
I tended to give people the benefit of the doubt if they seem a little nervous and awkward, if there's enough in their profile and preliminary chats to make me thinks there's enough compatibility to keep things interesting. I'm enough of an introvert I'm sure I may come across as a little standoffish at first. First coffee with my SO, he was the chatterbox and I felt like I had a hard time getting a word in edgewise.... but as it turns out, he was nervous. Subsequent meetings went better as we got more comfortable with each other. So a slightly off first meet can turn into something better if the two parties involved are interested and communicate that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by softcrunch
Some people look photogenic and attractive in pics, but when see them in person the physical presence is totally different.
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This, a person can look just like their pics and bam, the presence or feel just is not there. It happens. It is part of chemistry.
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