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I got back from the hospital a little while ago. She was awake, but had obviously been asleep and seemed kind of doped up/out of it.
I don't know what to think. On one hand, there's been no progress on figuring out what's causing her to throw up. She was throwing up blood - that stopped for a bit, but she's still throwing up without the blood. She said she hasn't eaten any solid food since the chicken fries. I think that was Monday night. She's about the same as she was when she went in.
She said the most recent hospital doc said it was all in her head and that there was no need for her to remain in the hospital. They want her to meet with some sort of psychiatric specialist to see if a psychiatric program would be a better fit. I don't know how much good that would do if she's repeatedly vomiting. For now, they're giving morphine and phenergan.
I've heard concerns about the quality of treatment at the hospital she's at from other people. My mother sees a rheumatologist outside of our local area due to concerns with treatment quality. I'm not confident she's getting the best treatment she could get.
She hasn't checked her iPad in a couple of days. I put it on the internet, and she had messages from lots of people asking how she was. She seems so depressed and she doesn't seem to be putting in much effort.
The family wasn't there, and she said she doubt they'll be by today. I definitely think she probably has some mental issues going on too, but who wouldn't under the circumstances?
She has serious health issues, the family doesn't seem to give a crap, the hospital doesn't seem to be doing much. It's a bad situation all around.
There's no way a romantic relationship will work now. She's just in too bad of shape. She wasn't anywhere near this bad a month ago. I want someone who can at least go out to eat and simple things like that. I just don't think she will be able to do that for the foreseeable future.
Her family is atrocious. I'd be really interested to know what sort of psychiatric disorder causes throwing up blood. This happened to my mother and they never did get to find out why. She couldn't have the endoscopy for some reason. Had her on a liquid diet until they could. Then it resolved itself and she went home.
The next time it happened it was an obstruction which ultimately she died from (kind of - no need for detail on all that).
I don't know what to think. On one hand, there's been no progress on figuring out what's causing her to throw up. She was throwing up blood - that stopped for a bit, but she's still throwing up without the blood.
Her family is atrocious. I'd be really interested to know what sort of psychiatric disorder causes throwing up blood. This happened to my mother and they never did get to find out why. She couldn't have the endoscopy for some reason. Had her on a liquid diet until they could. Then it resolved itself and she went home.
The next time it happened it was an obstruction which ultimately she died from (kind of - no need for detail on all that).
I definitely think she has something going on that is being ignored/missed, and that's what concerns me. Is she doing everything she can to get better or handling things the way that I think I would in her situation? Absolutely not. Do I think the medical staff are basically blowing her off? Absolutely. After a week, she's no closer to eating, there is still no idea what is causing the lack of appetite, etc. She mentioned yesterday the hospital isn't going to run any more tests. The endoscopy came back normal (she has an inflamed esophagus, but that was already known) and one other test was done. The kidney stones are the only thing they've found.
I'm not saying she doesn't have some sort of psychiatric component, but anyone in her shoes probably would after what she's been through. I don't think she's making it all up.
I wish she could get a second opinion, but that's not going to be possible given where we live. I may have mentioned this earlier, but one of my coworkers at an old job has lupus. The local doctors were never able to get it under control. He finally found someone in Knoxville who was able to manage the underlying lupus well, but now he's on dialysis and awaiting a transplant.
I definitely think she has something going on that is being ignored/missed, and that's what concerns me. Is she doing everything she can to get better or handling things the way that I think I would in her situation? Absolutely not. Do I think the medical staff are basically blowing her off? Absolutely. After a week, she's no closer to eating, there is still no idea what is causing the lack of appetite, etc. She mentioned yesterday the hospital isn't going to run any more tests. The endoscopy came back normal (she has an inflamed esophagus, but that was already known) and one other test was done. The kidney stones are the only thing they've found.
I'm not saying she doesn't have some sort of psychiatric component, but anyone in her shoes probably would after what she's been through. I don't think she's making it all up.
I wish she could get a second opinion, but that's not going to be possible given where we live. I may have mentioned this earlier, but one of my coworkers at an old job has lupus. The local doctors were never able to get it under control. He finally found someone in Knoxville who was able to manage the underlying lupus well, but now he's on dialysis and awaiting a transplant.
Kidney stones cause nausea. My husband had severe nausea during both bouts of stones. It is one of the symptoms of the stones. On top of the nausea her past nutrition was Abysmal. Her lack of appetite can also be traced to the stones and her inactivity. I don’t know the how far her Lupus has progressed, but it seems that her family is either unable or unwilling to competently caregive. Her attitude is defeatist, and probably will not change if your description of her family life is accurate. Not a good combination. Get social services involved and step away.
Why on earth is everyone being so hard on this girl? She didn't drive anyone away, they went away because people tend to drift away from sick people, especially very young people. I once worked with a 24 year old who fell off a building in a construction job and now had a brain injury. He told me his friends still came to see him but drifted away slowly. It's hard enough for adults to visiting sick people, very young adults often can't handle it or it's just plain boring or they don't know what to say (do they happily discuss their upcoming spring break trip to a girl who is so physically ill she had to drop out of college? People are avoiders of uncomfortable situations.
OP could have gone slowly but HE an adult 9 years o,dear than she, came in like gangbusters offering the world before he ever knew the extent of her illness. I do not think she did anything wrong. She's not an evil person looking for a sucker to use, she's a very lonely 22 year old who has watched her life go from promising to over in any normal sense in a period of a year ir two. Why so much anger toward her?
I don't think everybody IS being so hard on her.
And I do agree that people with serious health concerns learn a hard truth...while some people may come out of the woodwork to "support" you when you are initially diagnosed/ill, that tapers of pretty quickly, and the grueling realities of being chronically ill are something that most peripheral people in one's life (and many not-so-peripheral people) flame out on pretty quickly. My baby cousin had a brain stem stroke one morning, at the age of 27. His relationship with his longtime girlfriend didn't survive his rehabilitation, and he learned really quickly who his "long haul" people were.
It doesn't surprise me at all that a woman with lupus (or any chronic autoimmune condition) would seek out potential companionship using Tinder and the like, and NOT lay all 52 cards on the table re: illness prior to meeting. MOST people don't overshare private health information with total strangers. Concealing serious chronic health issues well into the intial dating stage is one thing, and involves active deceptions. Not announcing that you have a chronic illness on your online dating profile is really just keeping private information private, IMO.
Her family is atrocious. I'd be really interested to know what sort of psychiatric disorder causes throwing up blood. This happened to my mother and they never did get to find out why. She couldn't have the endoscopy for some reason. Had her on a liquid diet until they could. Then it resolved itself and she went home.
The next time it happened it was an obstruction which ultimately she died from (kind of - no need for detail on all that).
Mood and anxiety disorders are actually huge comorbidities with systemic lupus. The NIH has lots of research published on this. And anxiety disorders can physiologically manifest with health conditions such as acid reflux and ulcers, which can cause bleeding. It definitely isn't rare to have a trifecta of autoimmune, mental health, and other medical disorders. Mental and physical health are deeply intertwined.
Also, not for nothing, but if the hospital is giving her opiod painkillers, they're not writing off her physiological symptoms as just being "in her head." It's not, however, unusual at all to refer patients with autoimmune dysfunction for psych evaluation, because of all the potential mental health comorbidities. Doing mental status exams and psych consults aren't out of the ordinary for illnesses like that. It's a hard road.
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