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I noticed a lot of guys that are bullies appear to be gentleman or lady's man in front of women but once they are in relationship they are almost always physically abusing their women. I hear stories like this often and the women in the abusive relationship almost always defends their men for being caring and passionate.
Yet I know a lot of nice guys out there that never abuse their girlfriends or wives tend to get cheated on.
It just seems like you have to be the violent and brooding male in older to have the women stay loyal to you while being nice to your ladies you get walked over like a doormat.
Of course, there are still women who continue to stay with abusers. There are multitudes of reasons, one is coming from an abusive home. Same with the men, many witnessed abuse of their mother or family at home...this is how they learned
to deal with domestic problems.
That number of women has improved over the years and will continue to do so with domestic violence awareness and support.
Sorry you feel this way...
You nice guys are loved and appreciated by the majority of women of all ages.
It just seems like you have to be the violent and brooding male in older to have the women stay loyal to you while being nice to your ladies you get walked over like a doormat.
Realistically, are MOST relationships you see personally, your parents, cousins, people at work, friends....physically abusive? And the man is brooding? If not then you already know this statement is untrue. So the question then becomes, why do you *want* to believe it?
I noticed a lot of guys that are bullies appear to be gentleman or lady's man in front of women but once they are in relationship they are almost always physically abusing their women. I hear stories like this often and the women in the abusive relationship almost always defends their men for being caring and passionate.
Yet I know a lot of nice guys out there that never abuse their girlfriends or wives tend to get cheated on.
It just seems like you have to be the violent and brooding male in older to have the women stay loyal to you while being nice to your ladies you get walked over like a doormat.
Why is that?
This is nonsense. If what you're saying is true, all marriages would be abusive. Most women (ALL the women I know) avoid violent, brooding men, or even just brooding men, without the violence. That's nobody's idea of fun. How strange that you would take that to be the norm. The fact that you do, says more about you than it does about contemporary relationships, IMO.
This is nonsense. If what you're saying is true, all marriages would be abusive. Most women (ALL the women I know) avoid violent, brooding men, or even just brooding men, without the violence. That's nobody's idea of fun. How strange that you would take that to be the norm. The fact that you do, says more about you than it does about contemporary relationships, IMO.
Most dysfunctional relationship fall into one of these 2 examples I pointed out. Take Johnny Manziel, if you don't know who he is then look it up. He's abused his girlfriend in an on/off relationship. It took her almost a year to finally leave him for good and Rihanna being another one who stayed with Chris Brown through abuse until enough is enough.
I've known women in real life who seeked my counsel because of abuse. I tried to give them the courage of walking away without intervention. I don't believe intervention is necessary since it often leads to the woman being pulled back to the abuser.
As for guys, I've known quite a few good guys being walked over including a buddy of mine who agreed to help pay for his girlfriend's credit card debt yet he caught her cheating on him. He's just a good guy who has some stubbornness and perhaps a bit boring but he never cheats or abuses women always a gentleman.
I do see that from time to time. But there are often other factors at play. Perhaps the women who go for the "violent and brooding" types have low self esteem or some other factors at play. I haven't seen every relationship so I don't know for sure if that is the norm. However, I am not going to pretend that this never happens. One of my friends is like that. She goes towards drama and violence and then makes excuses for the person.
Most dysfunctional relationship fall into one of these 2 examples I pointed out. Take Johnny Manziel, if you don't know who he is then look it up. He's abused his girlfriend in an on/off relationship. It took her almost a year to finally leave him for good and Rihanna being another one who stayed with Chris Brown through abuse until enough is enough.
I've known women in real life who seeked my counsel because of abuse. I tried to give them the courage of walking away without intervention. I don't believe intervention is necessary since it often leads to the woman being pulled back to the abuser.
As for guys, I've known quite a few good guys being walked over including a buddy of mine who agreed to help pay for his girlfriend's credit card debt yet he caught her cheating on him. He's just a good guy who has some stubbornness and perhaps a bit boring but he never cheats or abuses women always a gentleman.
Often there is nothing you can do or say that will convince them. In many cases, they are going to need the help of a professional. They might need a bit of therapy to address some kind of trauma that draws them to these circumstances.
At the same time, us men have to look at ourselves and figure out why it is that we attract or are drawn to these types of women (self destructive, lifestyle of drama). After all, it takes two for this one.
I noticed a lot of guys that are bullies appear to be gentleman or lady's man in front of women but once they are in relationship they are almost always physically abusing their women. I hear stories like this often and the women in the abusive relationship almost always defends their men for being caring and passionate.
Yet I know a lot of nice guys out there that never abuse their girlfriends or wives tend to get cheated on.
It just seems like you have to be the violent and brooding male in older to have the women stay loyal to you while being nice to your ladies you get walked over like a doormat.
Why is that?
Women get turned on by guys that are confident. A-holes tend to be more confident.
From what I've seen with most women in my generation (millennials), they follow their hormones first and ask questions later.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r
Most dysfunctional relationship fall into one of these 2 examples I pointed out. Take Johnny Manziel, if you don't know who he is then look it up. He's abused his girlfriend in an on/off relationship. It took her almost a year to finally leave him for good and Rihanna being another one who stayed with Chris Brown through abuse until enough is enough.
I've known women in real life who seeked my counsel because of abuse. I tried to give them the courage of walking away without intervention. I don't believe intervention is necessary since it often leads to the woman being pulled back to the abuser.
Johnny Manziel and Chris Brown are rich and famous with a ton of status, not to mention looks and confidence.
Quote:
As for guys, I've known quite a few good guys being walked over including a buddy of mine who agreed to help pay for his girlfriend's credit card debt yet he caught her cheating on him. He's just a good guy who has some stubbornness and perhaps a bit boring but he never cheats or abuses women always a gentleman.
Why would he pay to clean up her mess? He's enabling bad behavior and poor decision-making. Sounds pretty beta, which is why he's having these kinds of problems.
Look on the bright side: at least he found this out before he got married. Now, he has the chance to change his behavior before marriage (or avoid marriage altogether). Unfortunately, he doesn't sound like the kind of guy that would do that.
Most dysfunctional relationship fall into one of these 2 examples I pointed out. Take Johnny Manziel, if you don't know who he is then look it up. He's abused his girlfriend in an on/off relationship. It took her almost a year to finally leave him for good and Rihanna being another one who stayed with Chris Brown through abuse until enough is enough.
I've known women in real life who seeked my counsel because of abuse. I tried to give them the courage of walking away without intervention. I don't believe intervention is necessary since it often leads to the woman being pulled back to the abuser.
As for guys, I've known quite a few good guys being walked over including a buddy of mine who agreed to help pay for his girlfriend's credit card debt yet he caught her cheating on him. He's just a good guy who has some stubbornness and perhaps a bit boring but he never cheats or abuses women always a gentleman.
This may be sexist, but I can't imagine a world where any one of my female friends (including wives of best buddies) takes any kind of abuse without the only intervention being physical on our part and strict surveillance after the fact.
Your buddies that paid credit cards off for their women were probably dumb, but I imagine if they were somewhat intelligent they knew what they were getting into and the juice was worth the squeeze.
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