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So I was having a chat about online dating with someone. And it was really interesting. He said that he had been struggling, because apparently he is meeting a lot of those mythical "I say yes for free dinner" people.
He shared a story of an especially bad date where the woman yelled at him for opening the door and mumbled to herself that she was going to find the most expensive item on the menu.
I definitely knew some people who did try to get on the free dinner train when they were in their early 20s. They out grew it, and it was not super often either. Mostly it became too awkward to have all of those forced dinner convos - no dinner is worth a boring convo. Their time became more valuable.
I became very curious on how he got pegged as the free dinner guy. I don't care about "free dinner" enough to endure a crappy conversation. I'd rather meet first over drinks or coffee so you can cut things short if needed.
My only guess was that his job may have given the impression he was rolling in the dough.
It was an interesting convo to say the least.
Anyone who pulled that stunt with me I would quickly say: "I'm out! You're Fired!" and that would be that.
Before she met my dad, she talked about how she alternated dates and happy hours to get free meals. Bars had wings and other hearty food. She got free drinks. And occasionally she’d have a lunch or dinner date. (She also told us it was important to support ourselves - hence the mixed messages :P)
Yeah.. I don't pay for meals for women anymore on a first date. They pay their own half and if they don't like it, too bad. Mostly I've gotten a positive reaction from this.. they might get mad initially but since they are subconsciously attracted to confident/powerful men they appreciate that I'm not a pushover like I used to be. If they don't like it I don't really care.. they can date someone else.
You can be confident/powerful and still pay for a woman's meal. Doesn't make you a pushover.
I can definitely picture some user people who try and get free meals. I went on a date where the guy got mad because I offered to split. “what, you think I can’t pay for you?†lol.
It is so confusing. Lol. Do you stare at the check awkwardly.
I used to be on that dating app until they completely changed the pricing and features of that app. I still never encountered women that would use me for a free meal. Sometimes, we wouldn't go for dinner, but just drinks and light food.
I was talking to this girl I met online, and we were going to do dinner for the first date.
I asked her what kind of food she likes so that could help narrow down a spot and she replies: " I don't care, I am open to all cuisines as long as I am not paying for the meal"
...and I am always more than happy to pay on the first few dates, no problem at all - but as soon as I saw her response, I hit the Unmatch button right away
I used to be on that dating app until they completely changed the pricing and features of that app. I still never encountered women that would use me for a free meal. Sometimes, we wouldn't go for dinner, but just drinks and light food.
It seems like a cool idea, but their pricing is psycho.
I tried talking about this before. Someone told me she did a lot of it. She was neither broke nor a college student. Granted, she was theoretically open to meeting someone good through online dating, but after a while, she knew the only outcome would be free meals for her. That woman enjoyed eating, talking, and mischief, I observed firsthand. During her free-meal days, she was above-average in attractiveness and got dates easily. I think she rationalized it as her typical date being a rich guy who mainly wanted physical fun from her.
By the way, you can uncover people like her tactfully before spending money by asking about how long someone has been dating online and what her experiences have been like. Because it's usually a red flag if an attractive woman goes on many first dates but almost never further than that. No reason to let those types cause distrust between the sexes.
Last edited by goodheathen; 03-22-2018 at 12:33 AM..
In another thread wasn't the whole notion that people going on dates for a free dinner labeled as a mythical urban legend of sorts? One that was perpetuated by people with some sort of agenda. Then downplayed.... Hmm?
As I said in that thread... It may be just my NYC locale but it doesn't seem to be as uncommon as you all say it is.
I think the best way to avoid is to keep it very simple for the first date or two. Coffee and snacks for lunch or a few drinks after work in the middle of the week. Generally people won't get **** drunk and run up the tab on their way home with work the next day. Since drinks are usually short and sweet it's easy to end the date if things don't go right.
After that there should be a good sense of compatibility and any red flags that bother you. It's a good time to suggest a future more intimate dinner date if things are well.
So I was having a chat about online dating with someone. And it was really interesting. He said that he had been struggling, because apparently he is meeting a lot of those mythical "I say yes for free dinner" people.
He shared a story of an especially bad date where the woman yelled at him for opening the door and mumbled to herself that she was going to find the most expensive item on the menu.
I definitely knew some people who did try to get on the free dinner train when they were in their early 20s. They out grew it, and it was not super often either. Mostly it became too awkward to have all of those forced dinner convos - no dinner is worth a boring convo. Their time became more valuable.
I became very curious on how he got pegged as the free dinner guy. I don't care about "free dinner" enough to endure a crappy conversation. I'd rather meet first over drinks or coffee so you can cut things short if needed.
My only guess was that his job may have given the impression he was rolling in the dough.
It was an interesting convo to say the least.
I would of gone through with the date then ask for separate checks at the end.
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