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Never pass within reach of each other without touching as you go by.
One day I was stopped at a highway rest area, and another car pulled in, to change drivers. A man and woman, with a couple of kids in the back. When they each got out and walked around the front of the car, they touched hands as they passed. I wanted to run over and give them a gold star.
That was maybe 30 years ago. I just know they are still together.
Right, because 30 years ago it was perfectly normal to pull up and online menu of available women and start trying a different flavor every week. To suggest that the dating scene hasn't been cheapened just like most human interactions have, thanks to social media and dating apps, seems to be a conscious effort to draw criticism away from oneself.
Dating is no longer real courtship, as it used to be. Courtship had a purpose; to find a spouse. Now though, it's purpose is to find someone to have fun with for a little while. As a result, relationships and people have become disposable, easily discarded fun toys. "Well, he/she isn't fun anymore, guess I'll move onto the next." Then people wonder why they're 30, 35, 40, 45 years old and alone. How do you find a meaningful relationship in a society that has removed all of the important components of human interaction and replaced them with texting, emojis and instagram feeds?
Ouch! The truth sure does hurt, but whoomp, there it is.
Pick your battles carefully. Is it really worth fighting over? I tend to give my wife her small victories on things that are overall not really that important. But when it is important I put my foot down and firmly explain why it’s important. To her it may be a little thing but to me it’s very important. Some examples include always locking all car doors, never leaving anything of value inside the car passenger compartment, always lock the deadbolt on the home door, always clean the clothes dryer lint screen before use. The theme of this list is her personal safety.
Another thing to keep in mind is the small things you do for one another as a show of affection. Affection isn’t just physical sex. It can be small things like calling home before getting off work to see if she needs something from the store on your way home, doing dishes even if she didn’t ask you, turning off the TV and phones to talk about each other’s day, offering to cook a meal for each other, and many other small things all add up. Sometimes getting up just to give her a warm gentle hug is all she needs.
When it comes to finances never make major purchases without talking with spouse first. What defines a major purchase depends on you and your financial stability. For us a major purchase is non-grocery purchase of more than $50. Even below that we still talk about most non-grocery purchases.
My boyfriend and I sat down with his brother (who is unfortunately getting divorced) and he said something that stuck in my mind, “small things that bother you seem small now, but they will be magnified once married, so sort it out beforehand.” That was good advice, and I am curious to hear more from those who are married!
Ideas:
Things you discussed or wished you discussed prior to marriage
Things you wish you had known about the other person
Lessons learned
Regrets
Differences that became dealbreakers
Family matters
yeah, that's a true experience people can give us more knowledge in whatever topic we want. like u said on marriage.
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