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For some context, I'm 21 and she's 20. After dating a year and a half; we broke up 1 month ago but long story short the main cause was a poor living situation; us both living in a single room in my suicidal father's house (he's getting help) far away from civilzation. A lot of little arguments happened that built up over time from the stress of our environment and my solution was us living separately like we were towards the beginning of our relationship because I thought it would be healthier but she said she was unhappy and didn't want to do it anymore.
Sure I still love her, sure I miss the hell out of her and would take her back so we can try again in a healthy environment (us moved away from this depressing island)... But she had something happen to her that's a lot more important than my feelings for her and our past that we had created together.
Two weeks ago, she was spending time with an old friend she trusted and had no suspicion of, and while she was simply trying to sleep she was raped. I cannot fathom the pain she is going through and her lack of trust for everybody around her; I just want to support the girl I love through this hard time without her thinking "Oh you're only trying to offer your hand because you want to get back together". If she asks for some space, how long do I go without checking on her or asking her if she would like to grab a bite or go for a walk in the park? Ultimately, I care more about her happiness, safety, and well being than my romantic feelings for her.
For some context, I'm 21 and she's 20. After dating a year and a half; we broke up 1 month ago but long story short the main cause was a poor living situation; us both living in a single room in my suicidal father's house (he's getting help) far away from civilzation. A lot of little arguments happened that built up over time from the stress of our environment and my solution was us living separately like we were towards the beginning of our relationship because I thought it would be healthier but she said she was unhappy and didn't want to do it anymore.
Sure I still love her, sure I miss the hell out of her and would take her back so we can try again in a healthy environment (us moved away from this depressing island)... But she had something happen to her that's a lot more important than my feelings for her and our past that we had created together.
Two weeks ago, she was spending time with an old friend she trusted and had no suspicion of, and while she was simply trying to sleep she was raped. I cannot fathom the pain she is going through and her lack of trust for everybody around her; I just want to support the girl I love through this hard time without her thinking "Oh you're only trying to offer your hand because you want to get back together". If she asks for some space, how long do I go without checking on her or asking her if she would like to grab a bite or go for a walk in the park? Ultimately, I care more about her happiness, safety, and well being than my romantic feelings for her.
Wow, that is so sad and I'm so, so sorry that she suffered something like that. I hope she reported the incident to the police. Your friend needs to seek counseling and therapy. You're not going to fix this for her. She has been violated and she's been robbed of her sense of safety.
Where is her family? Where is she staying now? All you can do is check in on her. Don't be pushy, take it as slow as she needs you to. Drop by and bring her a meal and don't invite yourself in. Her home is her personal space and you can't invade that right now, not unless she invites you into her space. You can let her know that you will be there to support her but she needs some serious therapy. I hope she gets the help she needs.
Well, coincidentally the day after it happened I had asked her how she has been and she told me she had the worst day in her life, and proceeded to tell me that she was sexually assaulted/raped.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hatethewinter
Where is her family? Where is she staying now? All you can do is check in on her. Don't be pushy, take it as slow as she needs you to. Drop by and bring her a meal and don't invite yourself in. Her home is her personal space and you can't invade that right now, not unless she invites you into her space. You can let her know that you will be there to support her but she needs some serious therapy. I hope she gets the help she needs.
She's staying with a female co-worker about 5 minutes from me. Her family is very unsupportive and she grew up with abusive parents. I doubt they even know what happened to her.
I'm sure you've made sure she reported the rape to the police and is now working with a crisis counselor and a sympathetic attorney for disposition of the criminal case, right?
I'm sure you've made sure she reported the rape to the police and is now working with a crisis counselor and a sympathetic attorney for disposition of the criminal case, right?
Right?
Hello?
The next day she went to the hospital to be checked and filed a police report, last I heard a detective was on the case
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