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hi so im currently dating a women with 7 kids which 2 of them are mine and I'm struggling with how much i should be financially supporting her other 5 kids. there fathers get 50/50 custody and don't pay child support and do not help with any financial responsibilities for school or sports or cars or phones or clothes for school or anything in regards to anything that costs money. I'm self employed and make very good money and she does not work she takes care of all the kids needs and appointments every week and honestly i feel like I'm getting taken advantage of by the fathers cause they are solly relying on me or her but her income is from me..we have very different parenteing ideas but mine are always wrong and I'm not sure if I'm supporting to much for her kids and don't know if i should put the money i put into her kids into mine which are the youngest. id really like the fathers to step up and try but every time i ask my gf she gets mad.i don't know what to do
All the kids in the household should be treated the same, regardless of what their fathers contribute or not.
Blend the family the best way you can, but do not marry her if you can’t agree on how the children should be raised. Y’all gotta get on the same page. All the kids are different, they are gonna need different things, but the main thing they will need is to see y’all as a unified front and consistent. Treat all the children equally and do for them all. Love each other through it and communicate and make a plan together.
Probably going to sound like a wuse, but I disagree with these comments saying a young women with 5 kids should be avoided in the dating market. I know too many single moms with several kids in my own family working very hard to keep their household afloat. So, I get a little sensitive to the idea they should be avoided. It's possible that OP had similar sentiment but didn't know the full story or didn't know it wasn't a temporary situation (i.e. the no support from other dads).
Thank you for giving single moms credit. The assumption is that we're all out to find a new husband or a new daddy for our kids. I'm financially self sufficient, have no debt, retirement plans are set and everything I own is paid for, car, house and land. Yet when I meet a guy he acts like I'm trying to "hook him". I just shake my head, laugh and think "do you really believe, you're the a$$ I want to raise my kid with?"
Finding a man, a real man is so important when you have kids. That man will have to accept that he will not be #1 in that woman's life; that spot is held for their children. Men who want to date women with multiple children, you either step up or move along. I think the OP had an obligation to find out her situation with the father(s) of her other children and should've taken precautions to not add to the litter. For the moms sake and the children's sake, I really hope she has taken the necessary steps to avoid anymore children. She is only increasing her burden and at the end of the day the kids are usually the ones who suffer through all of this.
Probably going to sound like a wuse, but I disagree with these comments saying a young women with 5 kids should be avoided in the dating market. I know too many single moms with several kids in my own family working very hard to keep their household afloat. So, I get a little sensitive to the idea they should be avoided. It's possible that OP had similar sentiment but didn't know the full story or didn't know it wasn't a temporary situation (i.e. the no support from other dads).
I can certainly see falling into the "single mother" life because of inexperience, naivete, poor judgement, a mistake, etc. once, possibly twice. But 7 times? With multiple dads? No way in heck. This woman has some serious problems being a responsible partner in an adult relationship. Someone figured out what causes pregnancy and how to avoid it quite a while ago. Frankly, I don't see how anyone could get serious enough to create more children without understanding the obligations of the other dads. Just does not compute at all. I know, I know...heartless and unhelpful. Just boggles my mind to read this.
Hmm... Do you love her? I didn't see you put that. Are you trying to be married to her? Of course it's not your responsibility to financially support all 7, but only the 2 that you have with her. My advice is to take the hit and break up. You'll have to deal with 5 other fathers, which is ridiculous. Do you think you'll be the last?
Or just make a singing group and manage those 7 kids. That's what i'd do
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