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Now apply that situation to real-life and you'll see why old school dating is largely a fruitless endeavor. It really makes me question whether some of y'all have actually tried old school dating instead of just suggesting it. If you did, you would understand how pointless it is for the average man.
It's alarming that someone would have to inform you that women are much more selective than men and don't respond to countless men trying to get in their pants.
You must be doing it wrong. You don't walk up to a woman in your soccer league, or your volunteer group, or your photography workshop or salsa dance group, and say, "Gee, you're purty! Can I have your phone number?" You get to know them over time, and the ones who you hit it off with (if any), or who engage in conversation with you repeatedly, are the ones you ask out for coffee after the event, or whatever.
It seems fruitless to you, because you don't seem to have done it much. Or maybe you haven't encountered women you're interested in getting to know, at those events. Or you're approaching them in.a way that leads them to think you only want to get in their pants. Or maybe you're only drawn to the ice queens, instead of the down-to-earth women. From the perspective of the women I know (all ages), men are the picky ones, who walk away from a roomful of women without talking to anyone, while the women are willing to give the guys a chance to at least have a couple of conversations. One of our male regulars here admitted once, that when he goes to singles events, he peeks in the door, to see if there's anyone who "looks interesting", and if there isn't, he goes home, without entering the room. And you're telling me women are the picky ones?
I’m engaged, guess I wasn’t doing it wrong. Oh and yes I have my app to thank for that.
You have personal anecdotes, I have statistics, and numbers don’t lie.
You can enjoy getting rejected at the bar and library, but don’t suggest it for random posters online. Dating apps are the future and old school dating is outdated.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20
I’m engaged, guess I wasn’t doing it wrong. Oh and yes I have my app to thank for that.
You have personal anecdotes, I have statistics, and numbers don’t lie.
You can enjoy getting rejected at the bar and library, but don’t suggest it for random posters online. Dating apps are the future and old school dating is outdated.
Pretty much true. If I relied on my group activities, going to shows, events, volunteering, etc efforts alone for the past 15 years, I would have had the 3 dates I had in that time. With apps/websites, I had many many many more. The old fashioned way is slow and very inefficient, and when you're in your 30s and 40s, forget about it.
Pretty much true. If I relied on my group activities, going to shows, events, volunteering, etc efforts alone for the past 15 years, I would have had the 3 dates I had in that time. With apps/websites, I had many many many more. The old fashioned way is slow and very inefficient, and when you're in your 30s and 40s, forget about it.
I agree. Who the heck wants to go out to the club every weekend and ask 10+ women out in hopes one will say yes? Been there, done that.
It’s a numbers game no matter how you do it, but dating apps make it far easier. No drinks, cover charges, gas money, Ubers, shows, volunteering, loud music, dancing, embarrassing public rejectetion.
Just you, an app, some swiping, and a lot of patience. I’ve used Tinder plus, I can swipe anywhere in the world. It doesn’t take Einstein to figure out that swiping anywhere in the world is much more faster and cheaper than going out to a local club every weekend for inevitable rejection.
The people who still suggest old school dating have usually never done it before and are limiting themselves to a small number of local women which doesn’t work well unless you live in NYC or LA.
I’m engaged, guess I wasn’t doing it wrong. Oh and yes I have my app to thank for that.
You have personal anecdotes, I have statistics, and numbers don’t lie.
You can enjoy getting rejected at the bar and library, but don’t suggest it for random posters online. Dating apps are the future and old school dating is outdated.
I never suggested going to the library or bar, did I? No, I didn't, and you know it. You keep changing the narrative every time you respond, proving each time that you don't have much, if any, experience with the strategy I've been recommending. Also note that I started out suggesting group activities as a supplement to apps, not as the only strategy. This was because the OP had an issue with apps, and was asking about how to maximize his opportunities. Clearly, a combination of strategies would do that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I never suggested going to the library or bar, did I? No, I didn't, and you know it. You keep changing the narrative every time you respond, proving each time that you don't have much, if any, experience with the strategy I've been recommending. Also note that I started out suggesting group activities as a supplement to apps, not as the only strategy. This was because the OP had an issue with apps, and was asking about how to maximize his opportunities. Clearly, a combination of strategies would do that.
A bar is going to be more effective that group activities, I've done years of volunteering (mainly community servings with my alumni group and a zoo group), co-ed sports (mostly softball, but some others too), photography and hiking groups, but really, it isn't effective for developing connections. I actually can't think of a single married friend of mine that met their partner that way. Plenty have with OLD, and more at bars/shows, but not group activities or classes. Do those things because they're fun and rewarding to do, not to date. If it happens, great, but don't do it for that.
A bar is going to be more effective that group activities, I've done years of volunteering (mainly community servings with my alumni group and a zoo group), co-ed sports (mostly softball, but some others too), photography and hiking groups, but really, it isn't effective for developing connections. I actually can't think of a single married friend of mine that met their partner that way. Plenty have with OLD, and more at bars/shows, but not group activities or classes. Do those things because they're fun and rewarding to do, not to date. If it happens, great, but don't do it for that.
Well, Rocko was turned off by meeting people in bars, because of the high rejection percentage, according to him. Doing group activities doesn't have as much of an issue that way. In the towns where neighborhood soccer leagues are popular, lots of couples meet that way, even with marriages resulting. The REI (Rec. Equipment Co-op) singles events around the West Coast also work for some people. YMMV. Different strokes for different folks. But some of those outdoor activity groups do specifically organize singles groups, and people do go there specifically for the dating possibilities, as well as for the simple enjoyment of the activity.
This is where signals com3 in. All that rejection is what happens when guys approach girls who won't look in their direction. Body language will tell you whether or not she's interested in talking.
Regarding OLD, it's a great tool, the tool itself that is. But for it to work the two parties have to meet in person. Majority of ladies I match with are just using it to chat. Some stop replying when you ask for their number. Others keep putting off meeting in person and will just endlessly text you. Some pull the last minute flake out. I've had a couple not show at all, even after they answered my call before I left letting them know I'm on my way.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaycich
This is where signals com3 in. All that rejection is what happens when guys approach girls who won't look in their direction. Body language will tell you whether or not she's interested in talking. .
True, I don't get the "rejection rate" thing at a bar. I'm rarely asking out someone from a bar, because even if I'm out talking to them, that vibe and attraction and chemistry is rarely there. Just firing off randomly doesn't make any sense.
Just ask all the women who get unwanted sexual advances by their boss and superiors.
"Hey ma'am would you like to go to lunch sometime? No? Ok. good luck getting promoted."
"Excuse me ma'am, I know this is inappropriate as we are in a volunteer group, but do you mind giving me your number."
I know you may think this is the movies, where average men can bag the hot women in the office/library/bar/park, but this is real life. The hot woman in the office already has a boyfriend or you're simply not her type.
Stop harassing women and think they all want you. Technology exists to prevent this. Leave the old school form of dating in the old school or go visit the "why don't men take no for an answer" thread to see why this form of dating is outdated.
What does this have to do with meeting members of the opposite sex through volunteer activities? Absolutely nothing. You're not even on-topic.What does "the hot woman in the office/bar/park have to do with this? Nothing. If you don't like meeting people IRL, that's your issue. Don't try to make it everyone else's.
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