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tough tough day. Need some feedback. I’ve been engaged and living with my significant other for 3 years. When we met he was at the top of his game professionally. Many things complicated his business and now it’s bad. Very bad.
I am trying to understand that this stress will bring out the worst in anyone. However, I have a daughter. I can’t leave the state or I would really struggle. She’s 11.
I have her 40 percent of the time, because her dad works from home. I didn’t when we divorced — i was working 12 hours a day through our whole marriage and I set a precedent. But now I have to live with it. I am now working remotely 80 percent of the time.
My ex is great and says I can have him 50 percent If i want — but of course, I’m paying child support. That’s fine. I just want more time.
Well, my fiancé says that his business is dying and by him staying around — he’s losing opportunities to make good money in other states. For months, I would get upset when he threatened to move.
Now, I told him — since you are near bankruptcy, do what you need to do. I’ll figure it out. I’ll move if I have to and travel. He said WHAT?
He has elderly parents and his 3 older kids in our current city. I said I’m sick of hearing that I’m holding you back, causing you problems — so do whatever you need to do and I”ll do my best. I’ll follow as much as I can.
He blew up and said that I’m a liar and he should have done this a year ago and why did I hold him back all that time by telling him couldn’t move then. I said well I don’t want to move, but I’m trying to be as supportive as possible.
I have offered to support us but he says I don’t make enough.
He then went off and said if we move and you are traveling to see you daughter what kind of relationship is that? “We have a tough relationship now. We have no connection now and we are always together”
i said NO CONNECTION? He said no — all we do is fight and this life is awful. We have no friends and you are doing nothing to help improve our social life. It’s all about your daughter and that’s it. (Which I wish i could say was true— but it’s not).
He said that life is just getting worse and he’s too old for this **** and he should stop caring what I think and just tell me to suck it up.
The fight is much worse that what I just wrote here but the message is the same.
I said you tell me i’m holding you back by asking you not to move — so I say, okay I’ll do whatever I can to move and support you and now you are telling me that will be the “death of our relationship — nail in the coffin — mark my words”
So what do I do? Again, I know pressure can cause people to do things they don’t normally do, but I’m hurting.
And just 2 days ago he suggested BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN for insurance money!
Yep, I said it before, and I'll say it again: You're a mom. Act like it. Recognize a jerk when he acts like one, and don't teach your daughter to live with that kind of behavior.
This guy is looking for an excuse to end the relationship. No matter what you do or say, it's not going to be right at this point. I would seriously think of calling it quits. Do you want your daughter to get involved in all this stress? Children may seem like they aren't paying attention, but don't you believe it.
And just 2 days ago he suggested BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN for insurance money!
I just want to say something on the above and that is be sure to document when and what exactly he said and than give your written document to someone you trust completely.........someone he doesn't know....
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