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At risk of offending with this analogy, I bought a new car recently. It's not the car I would have bought if I could have bought any car I wanted. But within the options actually available to me, I feel like I made a good choice, and I'm quite happy with it.
So did I settle, or did I choose wisely?
The bolded is all that counts.
Another car analogy; you've always wanted a Jaguar, say. They're beautiful cars. You save up, and finally buy your dream car. But ownership of the dream car turns out to be very different from the fantasy/dream. You discover they tend to be delicate, and require a lot of maintenance, niggly little repairs, and such. The car turns out to be so high-maintenance, you decide to divorce the car, and get something more practical, that will give you decades of problem-free enjoyment.
Have you settled, or made a wise choice, after gaining wisdom from disillusioning experience?
Another car analogy; you've always wanted a Jaguar, say. They're beautiful cars. You save up, and finally buy your dream car. But ownership of the dream car turns out to be very different from the fantasy/dream. You discover they tend to be delicate, and require a lot of maintenance, niggly little repairs, and such. The car turns out to be so high-maintenance, you decide to divorce the car, and get something more practical, that will give you decades of problem-free enjoyment.
Have you settled, or made a wise choice, after gaining wisdom from disillusioning experience?
I can want a cheeseburger and settle for a hamburger and find myself HAPPY with the hamburger.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz Brown
Well, I'm happy at least a few people here are not settling.
Most people don't settle. The problem isn't settling, the problem is your flawed definition of settling and lack of understanding of how relationships and love works.
Sonny's example isn't an example of "setting", though. It's an example of maturity influencing the decision.
Correct.
Some people just have different preferences. And nothing wrong with that, but I'd hardly consider a scenario as someone who's perfect but has the wrong hair color as "settling". To each their own, I suppose.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
The bolded is all that counts.
Another car analogy; you've always wanted a Jaguar, say. They're beautiful cars. You save up, and finally buy your dream car. But ownership of the dream car turns out to be very different from the fantasy/dream. You discover they tend to be delicate, and require a lot of maintenance, niggly little repairs, and such. The car turns out to be so high-maintenance, you decide to divorce the car, and get something more practical, that will give you decades of problem-free enjoyment.
Have you settled, or made a wise choice, after gaining wisdom from disillusioning experience?
You made a wise choice when your hand was forced to make a choice. My point is what is forcing us to make a choice for anything regarding relationships and being single until something suitable comes along should be looked at as a good choice and not a bad one.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
You made a wise choice when your hand was forced to make a choice. My point is what is forcing us to make a choice for anything regarding relationships and being single until something suitable comes along should be looked at as a good choice and not a bad one.
It can be a good choice. "Standards" can also be used as an excuse not to actually make connections with, and be emotionally intimate with, or vulnerable to other people. In that case it would not be a good choice.
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