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Even those this is basic, I don't have a lot of experience with a break up at this level. I've made a lot of progress personally over the last few years. I'm in a relationship that has lasted almost 4 months exclusively, but now I was presented with the idea that relationship status might end.
The person is still willing to meet with me to talk, so that is super nice.
We had a ton of wonderful experiences and good signs for a stable relationship to continue and flourish.
I don't want to force the result one way or another. If at least one person doesn't want "in" anymore, then it's not healthy to keep the relationship status.
I technically don't need a reason whether superficial or not. It would be nice to have that kind of closure, and also for me to accept it. I know that I might cry regardless. I might cry even if the result turns out that we stay together, because I can be an emotional person, haven't experienced this level of a break up before, and am sad to see something that was so good up to this point where both sides were respecting each other and caring about each other.
We might keep in touch platonically, but hard to say. I can say at this point it's a definite possibility.
There are things I can think of that maybe I said or didn't exude myself assertively enough for, but I don't want to create a problem not there if he doesn't mention it. I do feel that we both feel that we both can still be honest with each other and that we are/were attracted to each other physically and emotionally.
Any thoughts or wise tips of how to move on from here?
If the relationship isn't faltering but you're having concerns, best thing is to talk it out and see what can be achieved rather than let it struggle on.
If it still doesn't look good, then best end on amicable terms and remain good friends. If there's nothing left to hang on too best let go of it and turn to the next page in your life.
There's that wonderful quote from "The Shawshank Redemption", which I always use when I find myself in a desperate or difficult situation
What do you mean, "You were presented with the idea that the relationship status might end"???
The partner indicated that he might want to end it, but seemed unsure. Of course, I was taken aback just by the mention of it at all. It seems the time between then and when we will meet tomorrow (almost a full week) has been a good amount of time for both of us to reflect. I have thought of things we can change and work to being more open about if he is open enough to sticking with the relationship. I do not want out at all, but he is considering it.
Thank you all. I am pretty sure keeping busy will no longer be a problem for me. Transitioning back and forth and adjusting is where I have more of a problem.
When I started having a new boyfriend, it was difficult for me to transition from doing too many activities to balancing my time properly with work, and doing some things that I like or that my boyfriend likes.
Also, a half a year or so before I met this current boyfriend, I had a month where I was doing some activity every day except for 5 days of the month. This is on top of doing a full time job and a flexible part time job that I kind of obsess over and used to do 5-10 hrs per week when I can do 0-2. I now generally only do it 0-5 hrs per week, which seems much more manageable for me. It is a stress reliever and fun to me even though it can be a stressful side job, lol.
The partner indicated that he might want to end it, but seemed unsure. Of course, I was taken aback just by the mention of it at all. It seems the time between then and when we will meet tomorrow (almost a full week) has been a good amount of time for both of us to reflect. I have thought of things we can change and work to being more open about if he is open enough to sticking with the relationship. I do not want out at all, but he is considering it.
If your partner is indicating they might want it to end, personally I don't think I would continue with the relationship. Four months in it should be working to change to make things better.
Another thread in this forum is talking about relationships are hard. That is long term. Four months in is the honeymoon period. If you are working at it now to be more open, what is it going to look like ten years down the road?
That said, if it happens, move on. You want someone who wants to be with you and make you happy. Keep busy, go out, have fun.
If your partner is indicating they might want it to end, personally I don't think I would continue with the relationship. Four months in it should be working to change to make things better.
I agree.
Besides, it's kind of cruel to casually indicate that you're "thinking about ending it" and then wait a week to discuss it. I mean, maybe there's a particular issue that can change and make things better, but that's doubtful.
It sounds like you have plenty going on, OP. How old are you?
If your partner is indicating they might want it to end, personally I don't think I would continue with the relationship. Four months in it should be working to change to make things better.
Another thread in this forum is talking about relationships are hard. That is long term. Four months in is the honeymoon period. If you are working at it now to be more open, what is it going to look like ten years down the road?
That said, if it happens, move on. You want someone who wants to be with you and make you happy. Keep busy, go out, have fun.
In my experience, new relationships often hit a huge bump around the four month mark. It’s a good idea to remain objective. This is when people first start to recognize flaws in one another.
Let the guy tell you what he’s feeling without interrupting him until he’s finished. Don’t get defensive, just listen. He may not be ready for a long relationship or you may not be the girl of his dreams. It’s okay. Better to let him go now than dragging it out.
On the other hand, if the problem is minor or easily resolved, you both might agree to move forward, which will bode well for a healthy and growing partnership.
Don’t panic. In the big picture, this can be a positive experience for you.
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