Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Me and my boyfriend have had an on-going dispute for a long time now (its being going on for at least 2 years). Its very sad and stressful and I feel like its hurt/damaged our relationship, almost to the point of no repair.
For the past two and a half years (I've been working full-time at a job that my boyfriend doesn't want me to). There have been issues with my manager not paying me on time, issues with the way my manager was running his business, issues with my managers personality, issues with my manager not paying my travel expenses and issues with me receiving a low wage (my wage is £1,000 per month, for full time work). This is incredibly low for where we live (my boyfriends wage is £2,250 per month). Me and my boyfriend rent a small 1 bedroom flat - the rent price is £765 per month. I pay £350 in rent per month and my boyfriend pays £415 per month, plus all of the bills (WiFi, council tax, electricity, water etc).
ANYWAY, long story short in November my old manager was closing down his business and starting a new one (which I didn't want to work at) so he gave me the opportunity to work for his friend. I took this opportunity in November and now work for my manager's friend. Things are much better, my new manager is a big improvement and I NOW WORK FROM HOME EVERYDAY, rather than having to commute 2 hours each day to an office. The problem is my new manager is running an unpredictable an unstable business (real estate) and my I often don't get paid on time (for example I was supposed to receive my salary of £1000 on the 5th of March, its now the 12th of April and I have only received £500 of it, let alone my salary for the 5th of April). It's TERRIBLE I know.
Things have being getting very out of hand with my boyfriend as he's resented me working my first job and now this job with my new manager. My boyfriend has been pressuring me into getting a new job and has tried to persuade me to change my job for the past 2 years. There's been issues with me paying my share of the rent on time and my boyfriend has told me that he feels like he can't rely on me. I never really feel like I have spare money for anything. Also, I'm never able to save any money and its hard to really see much of a future for myself. My boyfriend also is originally from Bulgaria, he left his family 4 years ago to live with me here.
The contract for our flat is going to end in July (the landlord is going to sell our flat). My boyfriend is being incredibly pushy and he's told me that we will have to rent a bedroom in a house share unless I find a new higher paying job. I can't stand the thought of this.
I know its ridiculous that I get paid late all of the time and that my salary is also so low, but I feel like I can put up with this as I enjoy the work and I love being able to work from home everyday and not having to commute. I feel so incredibly privileged and lucky to work from home, I feel less stressed, have so much more energy and I just feel so comfortable with it. I'm also able to do some chores by the time my boyfriend gets home (I do all of the washing up and laundry and usually hoovering/cleaning and quite often the cooking as well).
In some ways, yes, I feel like it might be a good thing if I were to get a more stable, higher paying job (however I don't know if this is guaranteed). I want to save money for our future and support me and my boyfriend so that we can have a good life together. I want to ease all of his doubts and finally do what he wants me to do (get a new job). I'm hurting and all of this has caused me pain inside. I'm just not sure if getting a new job is the right thing to do for me, I keep on having doubts...
- I'm happy, content and satisfied with this job
- I enjoy the work and working arrangements
- I LOVE working from home (before I had to commute 2 hours each day, it was draining and I felt so lifeless, now I feel energised and as though I have plenty of time for myself).
- As we live on the very edge of the city, any new job I get will be guaranteed to have a long commute again
- I save a lot of money working from home as I'm not commuting and don't have to pay train fares (approx £180 per month).
However, I know the job is unstable and not secure and I think I could do better in terms of my salary. I don't know if its fair for my boyfriend to feel like he can't rely on me to pay my rent on time.
I'm thinking of maybe taking on a weekend job so I'm still able to keep this one. I just don't know and I feel like I don't have any answers for my boyfriend.
My boyfriend nags me everyday and asks me if I've applied for any new jobs. I'm really starting to resent this, but at the same time I know he can't help it.
Last edited by peachhtea; 04-12-2018 at 07:06 AM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Three options:
1) New boyfriend (not going to help your living situation at all)
2) New job
3) Get an extra part time job (this will create other problems I'm sure)
Your boyfriend may have a point. If you share expenses, you need to pay your share reliably. You wouldn’t be able to maintain yourself apart from him because no landlord would put up with not getting the rent on time—not for very long, anyway.
Time to “adult” and get a job with regular pay. It would be one thing if he didn’t mind footing the bills until your boss got around to paying you eventually, but he doesn’t seem to be in a position to do that.
If you're starting to resent it, just think how he must feel.You are basically living off your boyfriend. If he gets really sick of this, will you be able to support yourself and this more relaxed life you're enjoying?
You enjoy "working" from home? You aren't getting paid. They're taking advantage of you.
We've been telling you to get a new boyfriend [snip].
Yes, I've never felt happier since I started working from home. Its made a major difference to my work-life satisfaction. I just can't imagine giving it up, just so that I can get paid on time, I mean I know that this is what its coming down to and I will probably have to. But, still... it sucks! I mean does my boyfriend want me to give up my happiness ???
Also, yes I know I'm getting paid late all the time. My boyfriend has told me that its almost like I'm volunteering, but if I really didn't receive my pay then I'd have to stop working here, that hasn't happened yet so I'm still carrying on.
I swear the forum responses here are like an episode of the view or whatever other program stay at home parents watch (Regis and Kelly, GMA, etc...)
Your boyfriend has a perfectly acceptable gripe about your pay. The quantity of the consistency of which you are paid and the risk of the business you’re associated with. I can only assume that by combining your financials you’re still pressed to maintain whatever lifestyle you currently enjoy. He may want to proceed with next steps (whatever that entails)but is being held back by your financial instability. I would discuss it with him and not us exactly what his qualms are with your job and how it impacts him.
If you're starting to resent it, just think how he must feel.You are basically living off your boyfriend. If he gets really sick of this, will you be able to support yourself and this more relaxed life you're enjoying?
No, there is no way I'd really be able to support myself. That's unthinkable. I'd have to move to a house-share and live in a bedroom. I'm sure my rent would be at least £500 per month (higher than I pay now). Its unthinkable really. The future is also quite unthinkable, how am I ever going to afford to buy a place or have children? There's things i've wanted to buy for months but haven't been able to (like getting my shoes re-soled) I CAN REALLY see why my boyfriend wants to me get a new job, I really want us to have a future too, but I'm just so happy in the moment and love working from home and the work I do... I don't really want all of this to go away....
but still i can't keep struggling, me and my boyfriends relationship is getting very tense, as well as money struggles etc
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
