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Old 04-20-2018, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,515 posts, read 34,800,001 times
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Even if I saw a guy 4-5 times a week, after 4 months I wouldn't consider myself knowing him.

Everyone is on great behavior in the beginning, and you are influenced by all the endorphins. That combination is why lots of relationships barely make the six month mark.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:09 PM
 
3,565 posts, read 1,920,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Even if I saw a guy 4-5 times a week, after 4 months I wouldn't consider myself knowing him.

If you dated Bob for four months and I said, "hey, do you know Bob?". You'd say, "no".

No. You wouldn't say that


If you dated Bob for four months and I asked you what you knew about Bob, you'd say, "Nothing".

No. You wouldn't say that.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:18 PM
 
Location: around
818 posts, read 456,005 times
Reputation: 735
For starters , not sayin that wasn't an ugly and selfish thing he did taking off like that , how anyone to could do that is beyond me.
And btw , how did you "just" fall pregnant at that age unless you wanted too.
So you should've been up front with him and it should've been a mutual thing so you would've found out before getting preg that he wasn't ready and had other ideas.
butttt, that's not to excuse him at all after it happened , l really dunno how anyone could just take off like that.

But he did about the worst eff up possible but you've gotta get past that and let him back into your daughters life , for her , regardless of where you two end up as a couple she's gotta have the chance to have her dad now and as much of it as she can get and l really hope for her that's a lot. Whether it's as a couple or separate , that's another issue.

But as far as getting back together hell yeah , if it's still there between you of course you could and that'd be even more fantastic for your daughter.
but even if he wants that and l really hope he does and he works like a dog to win you back , l guess it all comes down to whether you can forgive him and get past what he did.
l really hope he does and l hope you can , for your daughter.

Good luck.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,515 posts, read 34,800,001 times
Reputation: 73728
Quote:
Originally Posted by CBeisbol View Post

If you dated Bob for four months and I said, "hey, do you know Bob?". You'd say, "no".

No. You wouldn't say that


If you dated Bob for four months and I asked you what you knew about Bob, you'd say, "Nothing".

No. You wouldn't say that.

I used italics on the word know for a reason. As in "how well do really know someone after a few months."
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:44 PM
 
9,368 posts, read 6,966,039 times
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He left you and his baby daughter to follow his dreams.

His dreams aren’t working out so you seem like the next best option for him.

I would let him maintain a relationship with your daughter and fund some back due child support but that is where the line must be drawn.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:47 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,183 posts, read 107,774,599 times
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I'm not even sure it's a good idea to allow him to establish a relationship with the daughter, given how fixated he still is on gaining Australian residency. What if they bond over a couple of years, then suddenly, he leaves for Oz, never to be heard from again, except maybe by email? How would a second abandonment by daddy affect a small child?

It's entirely possible he's only using the daughter connection as a ruse.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,515 posts, read 34,800,001 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
He left you and his baby daughter to follow his dreams.

His dreams aren’t working out so you seem like the next best option for him.

I would let him maintain a relationship with your daughter and fund some back due child support but that is where the line must be drawn.

Wanna watch him disappear again?
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:51 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,207,670 times
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Personally I would not have allowed him to meet the child.
It is obvious he does not/did not want you or the child.
I would cut all contact immediately and lock that door permanently.
There is no logical reason to subject your child to anymore of his nonsense.
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Old 04-20-2018, 07:53 PM
 
3,565 posts, read 1,920,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
I used italics on the word know for a reason. As in "how well do really know someone after a few months."
Hmmm
Let's see if that makes any sense

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
This is a man you hardly know at all, and what do know, is all bad.
After a few months of some good things (whatever originally attracted them, whatever she liked about him enough to continue seeing him), and then some terrible things (abandoning her with a child), everything is bad (which it wasn't) but she doesn't really know him? That's certainly not what you meant.

Just admit you were wrong or poorly worded your post.
Jeez
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Old 04-20-2018, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,515 posts, read 34,800,001 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CBeisbol View Post
Hmmm
Let's see if that makes any sense


After a few months of some good things (whatever originally attracted them, whatever she liked about him enough to continue seeing him), and then some terrible things (abandoning her with a child), everything is bad (which it wasn't) but she doesn't really know him? That's certainly not what you meant.

Just admit you were wrong or poorly worded your post.
Jeez

I meant what I meant, which is what I further explained. Sure, it doesn't appear that I worded it properly to convey my meaning to you, perhaps others did understand what I was saying.
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