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Old 04-20-2018, 03:13 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I think you were reading into stuff because you had already assumed he was into you.

If you are really, really attractive, which you have said you are, you should be used to people staring at you. It happens, and some people are just not good at controlling it. It very rarely actually means they are going to make a move on you.

Would he hit it, under the right circumstances? Sure. Is he going to blow up whatever he has with your friend to pursue you? Probably not.

I know that gay men have to sometimes read into situations and assign meaning to otherwise meaningless gestures, but I think this is probably just a case of a person admiring a pretty view.
It helps to write about these things on here. As mentioned in my other thread, it's something I am learning to manage is the attention I get. So it helps to get grounded once again.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:15 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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[quote=oh-eve;51674971]Doesn't matter, maybe he is interested in you, maybe not. Do not say anything to your friend (what would you say anyway?) and be a good friend (don't date his bf).[/QUOTE]

I would never do that to my friend. First of all I am not even interested in the guy at all.

I would never say anything either to my friend now, because nothing has happened. It was more so I am keeping an eye on him, cause while he is nice, my intuition tells me there is something off.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:21 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OK, reality-check time. I see I read the bolded completely differently from the others, here. OP, are you interested in that fidelity-challenged guy? Or do you mean you want to keep an eye on him, on your friend's behalf, as in--looking out for your friend, to perhaps warn him at some point?
I meant keep on eye on him in regards to my friend. I am not interested in him at all and would never do that to my friend. I think people misinterpreted that.

I say that more because of the situation where my friend caught him on a date while they were "dating" themselves. Ever since he told me that story, I am reluctant about this guy. I would think if after a month of being into my friend he would have hit the pause button on dating others. It looks like now they are exclusive.

Then I saw what I thought were signs (but looks like I was wrong), on how he was behaving around me at dinner. But looks like I misread that part.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:22 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I may be way off the mark here...but by the way you itemize things, OP, I almost wonder whether you're hoping these are all signs. You have kept track of such specific things.

I would stay far away. If they're going to break up they are, but even then it might be weird for you to take up with him.

I wouldn't think twice about signs, would continue as normal and however their relationship plays out is how it plays out.
I would never date this guy. I think most people misread my original message. I meant keeping an eye on him cause not sure this guy's intention with my friend.

But you're right I won't take anything as signs, will just go on my merry way. Anyway this is a friend I hang out with once in a great while, so it's not like I have to see them all the time.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:23 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,223,001 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I think you were reading into stuff because you had already assumed he was into you.

If you are really, really attractive, which you have said you are, you should be used to people staring at you. It happens, and some people are just not good at controlling it. It very rarely actually means they are going to make a move on you.

Would he hit it, under the right circumstances? Sure. Is he going to blow up whatever he has with your friend to pursue you? Probably not.

I know that gay men have to sometimes read into situations and assign meaning to otherwise meaningless gestures, but I think this is probably just a case of a person admiring a pretty view.
Lol.

Pics...so we here at C/D can make sure this is true.
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Old 04-20-2018, 03:25 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,692,289 times
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Yes you are overthinking but it doesn't mean you are "wrong" per se.

Just don't get all wrapped up in the idea that he may be in to you. If there's a chance that attraction can occur, often times it will. It's human nature. Just keep at a distance from ole dude, and you should be okay.
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Old 04-20-2018, 06:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928 View Post
I meant keep on eye on him in regards to my friend. I am not interested in him at all and would never do that to my friend. I think people misinterpreted that.

I say that more because of the situation where my friend caught him on a date while they were "dating" themselves. Ever since he told me that story, I am reluctant about this guy. I would think if after a month of being into my friend he would have hit the pause button on dating others. It looks like now they are exclusive.

Then I saw what I thought were signs (but looks like I was wrong), on how he was behaving around me at dinner. But looks like I misread that part.
I don't think you did misread those books he gave you. As to the margarita-pouring, -- maybe, maybe not. As I said earlier, I think your instincts are right on.
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Old 04-21-2018, 12:16 AM
 
Location: Honolulu/DMV Area/NYC
30,562 posts, read 18,061,935 times
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If he hasn't made an official move on you, I wouldn't say anything.
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:47 AM
 
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Well sometimes your intuition tells you something. I hadn't spoken with my friend for some time. I just downloaded a dating app the other day and who do I see on there? My friend's "boyfriend". I am assuming they broke up. Low and behold he messages me on the dating app. Regardless if innocent message or not, he shouldn't have messaged me on there. I ignored it and blocked him.
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Old 05-15-2018, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Nevada
777 posts, read 450,797 times
Reputation: 1613
Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928 View Post
Well sometimes your intuition tells you something. I hadn't spoken with my friend for some time. I just downloaded a dating app the other day and who do I see on there? My friend's "boyfriend". I am assuming they broke up. Low and behold he messages me on the dating app. Regardless if innocent message or not, he shouldn't have messaged me on there. I ignored it and blocked him.
You assume they broke up.... but what if they haven't? If it were me, I'd reach out to my friend and find out.

If they did break up within the last month, your googly-eyed friend could probably use a friend to talk to.

If they haven't broken up, I'd screenshot the dating app profile and messages to show him. He deserves to know.

The questionable one can't claim the profile was old and he wasn't active on it anymore, if you caught him on the site sending messages. Even if it was an "innocent" nice to have met you message, he's still on the app and looking.

Don't leave your friend in the dark if they haven't broken up.
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