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I will say, she's changed quite dramatically. To go from being willing to [snip], to being willing to share you with another side chick, to wanting to be a wife and mom in a traditional marriage is really quite a change.
I agree.
And even though she's trying to assert herself, she's already indicated a willingness to bend on that:
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted comment has been deleted).
It all seemed so easy in the "olden days'...people got married....and then lived in misery for a lot of years or got divorced or lived quiet lives of desperation and maybe some just lived in acceptance that this is what it is. Divorce is very costly.
I have at least 2 younger guys in my apt bldg who absolutely love women, BUT love their single lives and Freedom.
After my divorce I dated a lot but never wanted marriage again, and let a great guy go as he wanted marriage and I did not. It's a major decision a lifelong commitment if it lasts.
Hi forum! I’m new here and would appreciate some advice. Me and my girlfriend have known each other for seven years and have been living together for three. We are 32 and 31. Our relationship was not traditional at all – so bear with me here. I was with my ex girlfriend of six years when we met my current girlfriend as a couple. We met her online [snip]
About two years ago, she’s been starting to tell me that she wants to settle down, get married, and have kids. [snip] Unfortunately for her, I am not quite ready for that. I do love her and eventually see myself getting married to her and having kids, but I don’t feel like I’m ready right now. I also don’t want to stop seeing other girls with her because I absolutely love threesomes and can’t see myself giving them up. She says that if we are married, she would be OK having [snip]
It’s been getting worse and worse and my “deadline” to propose to her has come and gone. The situation with her and me now is strikingly similar to how me and my ex broke up. We are now constantly fighting, she says that we’ve been together for a very long time and it’s ridiculous not to be married after seven years. She also says that she can’t waste any more time on me and would like to find someone who will marry her while she’s still young and beautiful. I am pretty sure she will leave very soon if I don’t pop the question. I love her and don’t want to lose her, but at the same time, I really don’t want to get married. I want to continue living the life of great sex, traveling the world, and just living life to the fullest while I'm young...
You pretty much answered your post there. You're not ready for commitment and she wants it. You like her enough to envision her as the "1" but not ready to plant the flag.
You admit your feelings for her so I would pose it this way. You run the risk of losing her and not finding something her equal in the future. So knowing that and what you're feeling now about the pleasure of Mod cut.. Is she worth keeping and giving up your fetish or letting her go to continue it and possibly never finding her equivalent again?
Mod cut. may seem cool at 30 but at 40 I've got a hunch it won't be so cool and your options may dry up. Deep thoughts to ponder and consider before you take your next action.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-23-2018 at 12:32 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
[snip] may seem cool at 30 but at 40 I've got a hunch it won't be so cool and your options may dry up. Deep thoughts to ponder and consider before you take your next action.
Based on my experience, it is a permanent state for some people. Though I probably live in a place where these preferences are more common.
About two years ago, she’s been starting to tell me that she wants to settle down, get married, and have kids. Mod cut. Unfortunately for her, I am not quite ready for that. I do love her and eventually see myself getting married to her and having kids, but I don’t feel like I’m ready right now.
She cant wait for you to be ready. She doesn't have much time left to have healthy kids. You both have increased risk for autistic kids, downs syndrome etc, the longer you both wait.
You have a choice. You can stay a little boy forever if you want. She doesn't have a choice. She's running out of time to get what she wants, unless you both don't mind having disabled children later on.
I am pretty sure she will leave very soon if I don’t pop the question. I love her and don’t want to lose her, but at the same time, I really don’t want to get married. I want to continue living the life of great sex, traveling the world, and just living life to the fullest while I'm young...
Don't want to lose her? Get married.
Don't want to get married? Lose her.
But yeah, you're not marriage material so let her find someone who is. We haven't heard her side - many times something that sounds like it may be an ultimatum is just the other person ignoring the first dozen times the one person has tried to raise the issue until finally it turns into an ultimatum. At which point the other person can obviously do what they want to do. I just don't think an ultimatum is as bad as made out to be.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-23-2018 at 12:37 PM..
Reason: Orphaned (reply to comments which have been deleted).
Doesn't seem like you both are compatible anymore.
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