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anyway the low down is, i need to see how things go but continue being guarded and not invest.
talk obv is cheap. as for the sex part, I have discussed this with some male friends of mine, and they told me some men can literally go crazy over this sometimes as the testosterone increase can drive them bonkers. So I really cannot know how they may feel.
I will continue to stay guarded. I cannot deny the fact though that I am attracted to him
The being guarded & not investing part sounds good, OP. But really, there's no point in "seeing how things go". You know how they're going to go. He's sexted you how they're going to go.
If you do see him again (which I don't recommend), you should ask him what his definition of "taking things slowly is", if he's already sexting you after 4 dates, and even on the 4th date (if not earlier; I'm not quite clear when he first brought up sex), he was pushing for sex, and somehow managed to extract a statement from you implying you'd be open to sex when he returns, i.e. on the 5th date.
This is not what's usually meant by "taking things slowly". You should point that out to him, IF you see him again (which I wouldn't recommend at all).
OP, aren't there other men on the dating site? What about your guy friends, don't they know any decent single guys for you to date? Or your women friends--do they know anyone?
When we talked today morning he said he wants to see me immediately after he comes back for a drink.
Wouldnt anyone be confused by this behaviour??
I know many would be, its common sense
I didn't say it wasn't confusing. Yes, it's confusing, because he's not being honest, and his words and actions are contradicting themselves. He started out Date One by telling you he's not looking for a fling, and wants something serious. Sometime on Date Two or Three, he brought up sex. Date Four, sex again, and you lead him to believe you'd be open to that on Date Five, when he returns. So, naturally he wants to see you immediately upon his return. You said before he left that there could be sex upon his return.
Not only that, but he sexts you while he's away.
So at this stage, there should be no more confusion about what he wants from this dating. You should know he wants sex. This is not the behavior of someone, who's interested in you for your character, and who you are as a person.
I think the problem is that you became anxious when he left. You say you don't want to become emotionally invested, yet you already were, to some extent. Then, after awhile, he started texting you. So you felt relieved that you hadn't been abandoned. He's still showing interest. But the interest isn't the kind you want, is it? This isn't what you had hoped for, in dating someone. You're confused, and probably a bit put off by some of his behavior.
All of this points to the fact that you are too vulnerable. You seem to have some low self-esteem, that makes you vulnerable to the attention of men like this, any attention, to boost your sense of self-worth. This is putting you at risk of being used.
You need to develop a bit more independence. Some other women would have cut him off, and blocked him, by now, rather than remaining confused at this point. Do you see what I mean? Your thread title is, "Does he want anything serious??" The answer that is now clear, is "no". He doesn't. Can you see the signs? Can you believe them?
I will ,meet him since it is outside and perhaps try to converse to him a bit more and have an honest talk about what he would want. I still dont believe that someone single at this age would want only sex
well im not stupid . i just wanna see whats goign on. if i see nothing happening then bye.
And to be honest, maybe to have sex with him sooner than later before any attachment happens/.
What would be the point of that? And by the way, sex is how attachment happens. If you're already a bit emotionally needy, as we've seen during the course of his absence, you'll become a LOT emotionally needy after sex. At that point, IF he chose to stick around, he could toy with you, and you'd be an emotional wreck.
Don't be some jerk's plaything, OP. Just don't even think about it.
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What would be the point of that? And by the way, sex is how attachment happens. If you're already a bit emotionally needy, as we've seen during the course of his absence, you'll become a LOT emotionally needy after sex. At that point, IF he chose to stick around, he could toy with you, and you'd be an emotional wreck.
