Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But she is sending out mixed signals too. First she "basically promised sex when he gets back" Invited him to spend the night, then claims that she did no such thing in her other thread.
Yes, I know. And this is why someone posted that he knows that pressuring her gets results. She's shown him that she'll cave to his pressure. So he continues. And she wonders why he continues, and at what point he'll begin to make sense and be consistent.
Not only that, but it sounds odd, to make a date for foreplay. How much more indication does the OP need, that he's dating her for sex? He couldn't be more clear about it, if he wore a T-shirt saying that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Here's another tip, OP. Don't talk about sex with someone you haven't had or are not prepared to have sex with right then (rather than "someday."). It's crass and cockteasing. Save it for when you are an intimate couple.
I agree with both these comments. in fact, having already sealed the deal so to speak, knowing that you said that you'll be intimate......he may be getting together with some other person.....since he may not feel the need to invest time with you.
I simply think you should start any relationship with casual friendly dates....no sex implied.....so that you can trust that if they are spending time it is because they truly like you.....not because they are expecting a payoff sexually.
OP. I hope this isn't the case, but what you've shared at least makes this guy's intentions suspect imo.
Don't sell yourself short. Make someone show you true interest and caring and that takes a few months imo.
I don't get why it's so bad that this guy wants to have sex with the OP. It doesn't mean he's planning to "hit it and quit it". Most of the more successful relationships I've had in my life have been with women I had sex with right away or almost right away.
When is this poor guy getting back from his vacation anyway?
I will ,meet him since it is outside and perhaps try to converse to him a bit more and have an honest talk about what he would want. I still dont believe that someone single at this age would want only sex
Then you are naive, but that aside, this guy may want something serious, but only way one can tell is by dating a bunch. Just because he wants something serious, doesn't mean he wants that with you. That's what dating is for.
You can have conversations until you are blue in the face, but such obsessiveness will just drive someone away even if they had good intentions.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
This is why some guys stop dating. Chicks like the OP. Been dating a month, been on 4 dates, the guy is on vacation trying to enjoy himself and you're sitting here blowing him up and acting like he needs to propose to you tomorrow.
Slow down. Relax. Chill. 19 pages of this of a guy you barely know while he's on vacation. Go outside. Read a book. Hang out with friends. Stop worrying about this dude.
I don't get why it's so bad that this guy wants to have sex with the OP. It doesn't mean he's planning to "hit it and quit it". Most of the more successful relationships I've had in my life have been with women I had sex with right away or almost right away.
When is this poor guy getting back from his vacation anyway?
Why it's not good is that he told her on Date 1 that he didn't want a fling, and that he want4ed to take things slowly. Then, on later dates (of which there have only been 3, since Date 1), he started talking about sex. He even managed to convince her to make a date for foreplay, and later extracted something like a promise from her that she'd have sex with him the next time he saw her. But he still maintains that he wants to take things slowly.
1. He's not respectful of her boundaries. Huge red flag, there.
2. He's not truthful. He's talking out of both sides of his mouth, while moving full speed ahead ("slowly", haha)
3. It doesn't matter if he's not going to hit it and quit it. Maybe he'll come back for a couple more hits, before he quits, convincing the OP in the meantime, that he's "in love". He already pledged to dedicate himself to making her happy (on Date 2 or 3, no less.). Probably, on the next date (if there is one--OP should bail, IMO), he'll start talking about marriage.
These are some of the reasons it's "so bad". I could come up with more, if these aren't enough.
I will ,meet him since it is outside and perhaps try to converse to him a bit more and have an honest talk about what he would want. I still dont believe that someone single at this age would want only sex
If you think he'll be honest with you, you're deluding yourself. He could pretend to be honest. But his record so far shows he's not interested in being honest. You'd only be setting yourself up for disappointment, eventually, and more confusion in the short-term.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.