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Old 05-18-2018, 02:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,076 posts, read 106,950,530 times
Reputation: 115838

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jjrose View Post
But she is sending out mixed signals too. First she "basically promised sex when he gets back" Invited him to spend the night, then claims that she did no such thing in her other thread.
Yes, I know. And this is why someone posted that he knows that pressuring her gets results. She's shown him that she'll cave to his pressure. So he continues. And she wonders why he continues, and at what point he'll begin to make sense and be consistent.
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Old 05-18-2018, 02:46 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,085,089 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Not only that, but it sounds odd, to make a date for foreplay. How much more indication does the OP need, that he's dating her for sex? He couldn't be more clear about it, if he wore a T-shirt saying that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Here's another tip, OP. Don't talk about sex with someone you haven't had or are not prepared to have sex with right then (rather than "someday."). It's crass and cockteasing. Save it for when you are an intimate couple.
I agree with both these comments. in fact, having already sealed the deal so to speak, knowing that you said that you'll be intimate......he may be getting together with some other person.....since he may not feel the need to invest time with you.

I simply think you should start any relationship with casual friendly dates....no sex implied.....so that you can trust that if they are spending time it is because they truly like you.....not because they are expecting a payoff sexually.

OP. I hope this isn't the case, but what you've shared at least makes this guy's intentions suspect imo.
Don't sell yourself short. Make someone show you true interest and caring and that takes a few months imo.
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Old 05-18-2018, 03:55 PM
 
Location: The Jerz (NJ)
602 posts, read 393,387 times
Reputation: 1133
why are there now 3 threads about this guy? Can someone link him to this site so he can see how obsessed this girl is?
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,452 posts, read 4,711,926 times
Reputation: 15354
I don't get why it's so bad that this guy wants to have sex with the OP. It doesn't mean he's planning to "hit it and quit it". Most of the more successful relationships I've had in my life have been with women I had sex with right away or almost right away.

When is this poor guy getting back from his vacation anyway?
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:14 PM
 
37,434 posts, read 45,636,613 times
Reputation: 56812
[quote=Chrisaki;51909051]i dont play games. i just am very confused[

You may be in your 30s but you’re acting like a 12-year-old. Grow the hell up.
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,292 posts, read 34,425,363 times
Reputation: 73226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrisaki View Post
I will ,meet him since it is outside and perhaps try to converse to him a bit more and have an honest talk about what he would want. I still dont believe that someone single at this age would want only sex
Then you are naive, but that aside, this guy may want something serious, but only way one can tell is by dating a bunch. Just because he wants something serious, doesn't mean he wants that with you. That's what dating is for.

You can have conversations until you are blue in the face, but such obsessiveness will just drive someone away even if they had good intentions.
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:17 PM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,807,787 times
Reputation: 10451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrisaki View Post
whats the score then??

to be fair in general men find me very attractive and they express that to me.

i dont say i feel very comfortable with that, but i cant stop that either

Really? Everyone already spelled it out for you. You're being pretty disingenuous here.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrisaki View Post
well im not stupid . i just wanna see whats goign on. if i see nothing happening then bye.

And to be honest, maybe to have sex with him sooner than later before any attachment happens/.

SMDH


Attachment... it already has happened, but clearly you like a lot of drama.
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC
4,178 posts, read 2,628,062 times
Reputation: 3659
This is why some guys stop dating. Chicks like the OP. Been dating a month, been on 4 dates, the guy is on vacation trying to enjoy himself and you're sitting here blowing him up and acting like he needs to propose to you tomorrow.


Slow down. Relax. Chill. 19 pages of this of a guy you barely know while he's on vacation. Go outside. Read a book. Hang out with friends. Stop worrying about this dude.
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,076 posts, read 106,950,530 times
Reputation: 115838
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
I don't get why it's so bad that this guy wants to have sex with the OP. It doesn't mean he's planning to "hit it and quit it". Most of the more successful relationships I've had in my life have been with women I had sex with right away or almost right away.

When is this poor guy getting back from his vacation anyway?
Why it's not good is that he told her on Date 1 that he didn't want a fling, and that he want4ed to take things slowly. Then, on later dates (of which there have only been 3, since Date 1), he started talking about sex. He even managed to convince her to make a date for foreplay, and later extracted something like a promise from her that she'd have sex with him the next time he saw her. But he still maintains that he wants to take things slowly.

1. He's not respectful of her boundaries. Huge red flag, there.

2. He's not truthful. He's talking out of both sides of his mouth, while moving full speed ahead ("slowly", haha)

3. It doesn't matter if he's not going to hit it and quit it. Maybe he'll come back for a couple more hits, before he quits, convincing the OP in the meantime, that he's "in love". He already pledged to dedicate himself to making her happy (on Date 2 or 3, no less.). Probably, on the next date (if there is one--OP should bail, IMO), he'll start talking about marriage.

These are some of the reasons it's "so bad". I could come up with more, if these aren't enough.
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:47 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,076 posts, read 106,950,530 times
Reputation: 115838
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrisaki View Post
I will ,meet him since it is outside and perhaps try to converse to him a bit more and have an honest talk about what he would want. I still dont believe that someone single at this age would want only sex
If you think he'll be honest with you, you're deluding yourself. He could pretend to be honest. But his record so far shows he's not interested in being honest. You'd only be setting yourself up for disappointment, eventually, and more confusion in the short-term.
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