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Last night I was lying in bed thinking about life in general and, specifically, how differently men and women interact in a relationship. Then it hit me. KA-POW.
Here is the deal.
Women are rarely happy with the way men express love. You will hear things like.... "He never appreciates me", "He takes me for granted". "I just want physical affection from him, snuggling, that does not lead to sex". "I just want to feel like I mean something to him". etc.
Men, on the other hand "express" their love by going to work every day, paying the bills, going downstairs with the baseball bat when there is a strange noise, carrying in the heavy stuff, etc.
Since I am a HUGE fan of biological anthropology, and base a lot of my personal theories on concepts espoused in that discipline, I can best express my epiphany so framed.
Let's take a look at fundamental gender roles. Since "day one" until, oh.....1965, women were the wives, mommies and nurturers in the relationship. Prior to the advent of effective and reliable birth control, women who were physically able, generally reproduced, often several times, throughout their life.
Men, for the part (speaking in generalities), did not have any interest or desire in participating in the day to day care of an infant, toddler or small child during the centuries leading up to, and including most of the 20th Century.
Women were (and still are, by my opinion) programmed to perform a specific job within the confines of nature, and that job was having and caring for babies. In order to do a smashing job it would be extremely beneficial, if not necessary, to have the desire to do this. A passion, as it were.
Therefore, without even realizing it, even the most militant anti-child woman on the planet is driven by her biology to DESIRE the TYPE OF LOVE that is given by a child, especially an infant; complete, total, unconditional love. Ask every man you know who has a toddler, "Who does your wife snuggle up with on the couch to watch TV with?" Remove a husband and a baby from the presence of a mother for an extended period of time and then ask the mother who she misses. Who does she buy presents for? Who does she cook and clean for? The one that gives her the KIND OF LOVE SHE NEEDS. She stays married to the father only to ensure the support she needs so that she can give "HER" child the care that they require.
Women are driven by their hormones, DNA, *whatever* to crave the kind of love they get from a child. End of story. They DO NOT crave the kind of love that they get from a man. They don't even *U*N*D*E*R*S*T*A*N*D* the kind of love that they get from a man. It's never right, it's never good enough because it does not satisfy this primal, fundamental need. Man love is annoying, perplexing and frustrating.
Think about the conversations you have had with members of both sexes, single and married. Even in the best relationships, women frequently feel like "something is missing". They say things like "Oh, he's a good guy, but he just doesn't give me what I need to be happy". Men say things like.... "No matter what I do, it's never enough. I could buy her everything she wants and she STILL wouldn't be happy".
In general I agree, and I answer in general. It's part nature, part a learned response. It's something that has been passed down from the beginning. I was born into a world (1960) where more women were servants (just a word to paint a picture). Festering in women was a feeling they needed more, not to be viewed as they were. It wasn't good enough. As time has passed, woman grow stronger and that opinion is voiced more. And not good enough may simply be woman's independence. We are living in an era where that mindset is slowly changing, slowly moving to a place where that will be less distinguishable.
Last night I was lying in bed thinking about life in general and, specifically, how differently men and women interact in a relationship. Then it hit me. KA-POW.
Here is the deal.
Women are rarely happy with the way men express love. You will hear things like.... "He never appreciates me", "He takes me for granted". "I just want physical affection from him, snuggling, that does not lead to sex". "I just want to feel like I mean something to him". etc.
Men, on the other hand "express" their love by going to work every day, paying the bills, going downstairs with the baseball bat when there is a strange noise, carrying in the heavy stuff, etc.
Since I am a HUGE fan of biological anthropology, and base a lot of my personal theories on concepts espoused in that discipline, I can best express my epiphany so framed.
Let's take a look at fundamental gender roles. Since "day one" until, oh.....1965, women were the wives, mommies and nurturers in the relationship. Prior to the advent of effective and reliable birth control, women who were physically able, generally reproduced, often several times, throughout their life.
Men, for the part (speaking in generalities), did not have any interest or desire in participating in the day to day care of an infant, toddler or small child during the centuries leading up to, and including most of the 20th Century.
Women were (and still are, by my opinion) programmed to perform a specific job within the confines of nature, and that job was having and caring for babies. In order to do a smashing job it would be extremely beneficial, if not necessary, to have the desire to do this. A passion, as it were.
Therefore, without even realizing it, even the most militant anti-child woman on the planet is driven by her biology to DESIRE the TYPE OF LOVE that is given by a child, especially an infant; complete, total, unconditional love. Ask every man you know who has a toddler, "Who does your wife snuggle up with on the couch to watch TV with?" Remove a husband and a baby from the presence of a mother for an extended period of time and then ask the mother who she misses. Who does she buy presents for? Who does she cook and clean for? The one that gives her the KIND OF LOVE SHE NEEDS. She stays married to the father only to ensure the support she needs so that she can give "HER" child the care that they require.
Women are driven by their hormones, DNA, *whatever* to crave the kind of love they get from a child. End of story. They DO NOT crave the kind of love that they get from a man. They don't even *U*N*D*E*R*S*T*A*N*D* the kind of love that they get from a man. It's never right, it's never good enough because it does not satisfy this primal, fundamental need. Man love is annoying, perplexing and frustrating.
Think about the conversations you have had with members of both sexes, single and married. Even in the best relationships, women frequently feel like "something is missing". They say things like "Oh, he's a good guy, but he just doesn't give me what I need to be happy". Men say things like.... "No matter what I do, it's never enough. I could buy her everything she wants and she STILL wouldn't be happy".
Thoughts?
You make a lot of assumptions in here. Not every woman thinks that their husband's/partner's love isn't good enough. All women don't crave the type of love a child gets more than the type they get from a man. Where are you getting these ideas?
The sentence I bolded is a pretty eff'd up thing to say as a generalization toward women.
You need to stop lying in bed "thinking" and read a book or take something to help you sleep. This was a weird post.
Last night I was lying in bed thinking about life in general and, specifically, how differently men and women interact in a relationship. Then it hit me. KA-POW.
Here is the deal.
Women are rarely happy with the way men express love. You will hear things like.... "He never appreciates me", "He takes me for granted". "I just want physical affection from him, snuggling, that does not lead to sex". "I just want to feel like I mean something to him". etc.
Men, on the other hand "express" their love by going to work every day, paying the bills, going downstairs with the baseball bat when there is a strange noise, carrying in the heavy stuff, etc.
Since I am a HUGE fan of biological anthropology, and base a lot of my personal theories on concepts espoused in that discipline, I can best express my epiphany so framed.
Let's take a look at fundamental gender roles. Since "day one" until, oh.....1965, women were the wives, mommies and nurturers in the relationship. Prior to the advent of effective and reliable birth control, women who were physically able, generally reproduced, often several times, throughout their life.
Men, for the part (speaking in generalities), did not have any interest or desire in participating in the day to day care of an infant, toddler or small child during the centuries leading up to, and including most of the 20th Century.
Women were (and still are, by my opinion) programmed to perform a specific job within the confines of nature, and that job was having and caring for babies. In order to do a smashing job it would be extremely beneficial, if not necessary, to have the desire to do this. A passion, as it were.
Therefore, without even realizing it, even the most militant anti-child woman on the planet is driven by her biology to DESIRE the TYPE OF LOVE that is given by a child, especially an infant; complete, total, unconditional love. Ask every man you know who has a toddler, "Who does your wife snuggle up with on the couch to watch TV with?" Remove a husband and a baby from the presence of a mother for an extended period of time and then ask the mother who she misses. Who does she buy presents for? Who does she cook and clean for? The one that gives her the KIND OF LOVE SHE NEEDS. She stays married to the father only to ensure the support she needs so that she can give "HER" child the care that they require.
Women are driven by their hormones, DNA, *whatever* to crave the kind of love they get from a child. End of story. They DO NOT crave the kind of love that they get from a man. They don't even *U*N*D*E*R*S*T*A*N*D* the kind of love that they get from a man. It's never right, it's never good enough because it does not satisfy this primal, fundamental need. Man love is annoying, perplexing and frustrating.
Think about the conversations you have had with members of both sexes, single and married. Even in the best relationships, women frequently feel like "something is missing". They say things like "Oh, he's a good guy, but he just doesn't give me what I need to be happy". Men say things like.... "No matter what I do, it's never enough. I could buy her everything she wants and she STILL wouldn't be happy".
Thoughts?
Agree and do not agree. I think the concept of love languages is very accurate. I do not know how often each la guage shows up in women and men, but there are some men who a,so need affection to feel loved. And others do not. Some need words, some need actions. And this is not gendered.
You make a lot of assumptions in here. Not every woman thinks that their husband's/partner's love isn't good enough. All women don't crave the type of love a child gets more than the type they get from a man. Where are you getting these ideas?
The sentence I bolded is a pretty eff'd up thing to say as a generalization toward women.
You need to stop lying in bed "thinking" and read a book or take something to help you sleep. This was a weird post.
Agreed.
People are individuals and should be treated as such. The stereotypes in that post are not only offensive, they are damn depressing. They are also neither new nor earth-shattering. That kind of drivel has been around for ages.
Time to get out of Branson and experience something new.
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