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Just to clear it up, he doesn’t need my car to get there, he has a car. A week or so back we discussed using my car more because it is a lease and he owns, saving miles because I have a short commute. I just would have liked him to ask rather than assume
Here is the thing, I have been a little resentful in the finance area lately. I just bought a house (he still rents from a friend.. at 32 y.o), and I have been spending a lot to get the house together. He stays with me on weekends and helps here and there with food, but we split when we go out. I guess the reason in my OP I got so annoyed is stemming from the fact that I don’t feel like he is where he should be in the job, career, finances, but he is trying. It scares me that he doesn’t have more of his life together, so I take things like this way more seriously than I should. But again, it would be nice to be treated by my man once in a while, especially when he invited me
OP, you should start a separate thread based on your 2nd paragraph here. It's an important topic deserving of its own thread.
OK, he prefers to use your car. So let him use your car to go to his event. He could leave his with you for the day.
She should judge him by her standards and expectations if they are in a relationship.
Yes, that's what I was thinking. How else would you evaluate a potential life partner? By Judge Judy's standards and expectations? Pee-Wee Herman's? Charlie Sheen's? <shudder>
She's responsible enough with her money that she's in a position to buy a house. I would want a life partner who is at least a financial equal, not some guy who's going to want to move in to get away from his roommate. (Theoretical, I know, but OP, you're not going to allow that, right?)
It may be that these uneasy feelings she's having indicate it's time for the OP to cool the relationship.
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend (of a few years who I am quite serious with) invited me to an event that he goes to every year with his siblings. I told him I am not really into that particular event (comic/actor meet and greet), but he really wanted me to go as part of their tradition, so I agreed. Well it’s this weekend, so we were planning and he asked if I could bring him the money for the ticket, $40.... All I could think was, you invited me, your girlfriend, to something I’m not even interested in, and now I have to pay my way?
Just to be clear I am not one of those girls that expects the guys to pay for everything, we share dinner bills, etc all the time ,but I felt this situation was different. He invited me out and now wants me to pay. Am I in the wrong to be a little annoyed here? I don’t know why this is bothering me so much, I guess because he expected it rather than asking if I could help out. Oh, and then he asked if we can take my car, this event is an hour away....
I just don’t know what to think. He is a giving person normally, but has always asked I pitch in on things like “maybe you can leave the tip?” When we are out. Or he says I’ll buy this if you get us a drink later? Which I hated at first but I get it, it’s fair. He doesn’t make a lot, actually I make more and we both have student debt. But once in a while I’d like to be treated I guess
I would simply back out and not go. That's absurd.
Based on HER description. We really have no information about his life or what his goals are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat
Yes, that's what I was thinking. How else would you evaluate a potential life partner? By Judge Judy's standards and expectations? Pee-Wee Herman's? Charlie Sheen's? <shudder>
So you do every single thing EXACTLY the same way your husband does?
By your dismissive "logic," we could just as easily say the OP should live according to her BF's standards, lay off a little bit and slow down, not take on so much and just live life the way he does.
They are not conjoined twins. They are two different people who approach life in their own way, and part of dating is figuring out if those ways are compatible.
She's going to have to decide if this guy has an approach to life that is compatible with hers, and right now she's nervous about that. That anxiety apparently is now spilling over into her everyday interactions with him and causing resentment.
Personally that would annoy me. It's one thing if you offer to pay, but being told to in a situation in which you were asked to go as someone's date/girlfriend, no. I'm old fashioned and I don't think going dutch or halfsies is very romantic. It feels more like buds/friends.
I don't think this is a romantic thing. It does sound like including her in a family thing which I see as a positive. More like being part of the family than buds/friends.
But I don't blame her for being annoyed. He didn't go about it very tactfully. Rather dumb really - the kind of boo boo I would make. Or might of when I was younger and dumber.
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Or might of when I was younger and dumber.
