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Even if you two are married, there will still be certain times where sex will be off the table due to illness, pregnancy, injury, etc. My opinion is makes sure you both are on the same page.
Oh my God! You mean she might not want to have sex every single day after marriage?!? What?!?
She wasn’t dishonest, in response to your most recent post. Her mind changed. Oh my God, that is possible too! What?!? Women are thinking beings with thoughts, convictions, and feelings of their own? No way.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inacitysomewhere
Oh my God! You mean she might not want to have sex every single day after marriage?!? What?!?
She wasn’t dishonest, in response to your most recent post. Her mind changed. Oh my God, that is possible too! What?!? Women are thinking beings with thoughts, convictions, and feelings of their own? No way.
Women can change their minds all they want, men are not obligated to accept that change or not feel a little p$&@ed off about the change.
OP, all signs point to you need to let her fall in love with Jesus (the deacon or pastor more likely) or be prepared for a life of little and very sucky sex.
Teamwork is essential to marriage. And what she did is not teamwork she went up and changed all the rules without discussion and input from the other half. That's a huge life change to make on someone.
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Women can change their minds all they want, men are not obligated to accept that change or not feel a little p$&@ed off about the change.
OP, all signs point to you need to let her fall in love with Jesus (the deacon or pastor more likely) or be prepared for a life of little and very sucky sex.
You aren't the only man to imply this kind of thing so this isn't directed just at you but it's pretty pervasive that men can't seem to handle the idea that he couldn't possibly be left for any other reason than another man.
I'd lay odds that the majority of divorced women did NOT leave for another man.
(In this case, she isn't even actually leaving him)
I'm not sure why many are assuming her religious zeal is fake. It may be a passing fancy she gets over in a week, lots of folks get caught up in a fervor then it fades, the megachurches especially are good at working folk into an emotional froth and that MAY be what has happened here.
Equally possible is that she truly has had a religious conversion and is sincere. If this is the case, the OP's lack of same will create many issues in addition to postponing sexual contact so it'll be a fail anyhow.
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 05-31-2018 at 06:33 PM..
Like I said the distance we have had to deal with caused us to break up for around 6 months and thats when she found the Church. I did not move super close to her and I'm still around a 2 hour drive away, but that's better than a 16 hour flight. I'm currently organizing my Permanent residency to stay here in Canada and due to that that is why i said 1-2 years till i pop that question ( it might even be rejected too ), its a long process and I have to return home to Australia in October for my best friends wedding ( so i do have an escape route if needed ), This whole thing for me was to enjoy the Canadian summer and to really see if her and I could work because i wanted it too and we hadnt had a summer together yet.
I understand the pain i put her through by leaving the country this time last year, ( I had a mental break down and missed my family incredibly ) I felt super regretful and guilty for the decision i had made but it helped me grow and i learnt a lot of lessons on what i really wanted, I came back to make things right and I felt great about it, I cant help this is her way to test me if I'm really willing to go through similar pain to make this work.
She said to me in one of her texts, " At the end of the day if you think im the one you want to marry I don't understand why you would have a problem with this, If this is really something you want to end the relationship on I am not going to stop you " And " all of my decisions are out of love for you even if you cant see it"
I'm not mad at her for making this decision. Its just a real kick in the balls that she just changed it up when I was finally happy with how things were going.
Nothing has really changed since I posted this, but thank you as this has raised a few questions i can ask her to see whats really going on.
" At the end of the day if you think im the one you want to marry I don't understand why you would have a problem with this, If this is really something you want to end the relationship on I am not going to stop you "
If she is saying this ^^^ stuff, y'all really aren't even close to ready for marriage.
Oh my God! You mean she might not want to have sex every single day after marriage?!? What?!?
She wasn’t dishonest, in response to your most recent post. Her mind changed. Oh my God, that is possible too! What?!? Women are thinking beings with thoughts, convictions, and feelings of their own? No way.
Changing one's mind is normal and happens, but this is an entire change including a complete 180 in how they have physically interacted before. That IS unusual (the drastic change itself, not the fact that physical interaction is a part of it). It is a change in how this woman sees the world, her partner, herself, everything.
Sorry, but that is a game-changer. It's not like she decided she's rather have a blue car after all as opposed to a black one.
And possibly, or probably a push to get married to "normalize" the relationship. Meaning get sex back into the game.
The thing is, if she discovers this sort of manipulation works, it sure won't stop there. Further, if she discovers sex has this much power then it is likely sex will be the bargaining chip, every single time. Sex will be the battleground.
That's going on the theory that it is manipulation. I'm honestly not getting a great feeling from this situation either way.
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