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Old 03-30-2008, 12:08 PM
 
Location: TX
5,413 posts, read 10,606,078 times
Reputation: 1672

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miu, yes, we need to find out why the thread starter is all of a sudden upset about her husband's smoking after x years of seemingly not minding it.
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Old 03-30-2008, 12:11 PM
 
Location: TX
5,413 posts, read 10,606,078 times
Reputation: 1672
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
So if you marry somebody and later on she decides she resents all the time you waste in the gym and asks you not to go, you unselfishly will quit going?
That is a valid point. I don't know if the thread starter has answered that part I mentioned in my previous post (replying to miu). I've skim read this thread, so maybe she already mentioned why she's upset about smoking now but not before.
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Old 03-30-2008, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
Reputation: 22788
Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
miu, yes, we need to find out why the thread starter is all of a sudden upset about her husband's smoking after x years of seemingly not minding it.
You know, quite often when you resent somebody for something entirely different, you can't stand even the way they breathe... Have you noticed how you dislike some people no matter what they do simply because they're not your cup of tea?
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Old 03-30-2008, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulf7 View Post
I've skim read this thread, so maybe she already mentioned why she's upset about smoking now but not before.
Hmm, I don't believe she has yet.
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Old 03-30-2008, 12:22 PM
 
Location: So. of Rosarito, Baja, Mexico
5,265 posts, read 10,209,730 times
Reputation: 4009
Smoking can have REAL bad results. After discharge from the service, a fellow service member went to MORTUARY school. He told me of seeing the autopsys being done as part of his schooling. A person who DOES NOT smoke has lungs that are PINK. A person that smokes has lungs that have BLACK SPOTS all over it. I told my future wife about this and she just laughed it off as nothing to worry about. Well the smoking came to a head. She was diagnosed with CANCER in the throat and died in 5 months at the young age of 43. SO MUCH FOR SMOKING. Stefhen
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Old 03-30-2008, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Bagu View Post
Smoking can have REAL bad results. After discharge from the service, a fellow service member went to MORTUARY school. He told me of seeing the autopsys being done as part of his schooling. A person who DOES NOT smoke has lungs that are PINK. A person that smokes has lungs that have BLACK SPOTS all over it. I told my future wife about this and she just laughed it off as nothing to worry about. Well the smoking came to a head. She was diagnosed with CANCER in the throat and died in 5 months at the young age of 43. SO MUCH FOR SMOKING. Stefhen
I'm sorry for your loss, Steve.

We all will die, though. Only those who were not born won't. I personally don't care whether I'll die with pink or black lungs. I know you feel strongly about this because you believe there is a cause-effect relation, but to me it's a sheer coincidence. My Mom died of emphysema. She'd never touched a cigarette in her life. Her mother (I don't even remember her) died of some horrible liver disease. Never touched alcohol in her life. My Grandpa had gotten cancer on his lip. The doctor told him "you must be smoking a lot." Again, never touched a cigarette in his life. My Dad was a smoker most of his life. Died of kidney cancer. My uncle died of throat cancer. Hasn't touched a cigarette in his life, either.

Guess I'm a roll with sayings from St. Olaf, but if you're meant to be shot, you're not gonna be hanged. That's my philosophy. I prefer to have a life I enjoy for as long as it lasts as opposed to taking all the fun out of it based on the pure speculation I'd crawl on the face of the Earth longer. And quite frankly, it's only somewhat worth it if you're healthy and have sufficient financial means to enjoy it. Otherwise... who needs it... certainly not me.
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Old 03-30-2008, 01:01 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
13,012 posts, read 22,197,811 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
You know, quite often when you resent somebody for something entirely different, you can't stand even the way they breathe... Have you noticed how you dislike some people no matter what they do simply because they're not your cup of tea?
See... that's why an earlier post of mine asked about the timeline of her relationship with her husband. Usually during the first years of a romantic relationship, we are all caught up with feeling of infatuation with our mate and we love every single thing about them. Then after the honeymoon period is over (about 3-5 years), we start to see our mates without those rose coloured glasses. That's when we may start to get irritated at the way they laugh or when they repeat telling a funny story. Or how poor they are with their housekeeping or cooking skills. It's just reality setting in.

And that is why I feel that to get married before the three to five year anniversary mark of being a couple is very premature. Marrying someone after only knowing or dating them under three years is very unwise imo.
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Old 03-30-2008, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
See... that's why an earlier post of mine asked about the timeline of her relationship with her husband. Usually during the first years of a romantic relationship, we are all caught up with feeling of infatuation with our mate and we love every single thing about them. Then after the honeymoon period is over (about 3-5 years), we start to see our mates without those rose coloured glasses. That's when we may start to get irritated at the way they laugh or when they repeat telling a funny story. Or how poor they are with their housekeeping or cooking skills. It's just reality setting in.

And that is why I feel that to get married before the three to five year anniversary mark of being a couple is very premature. Marrying someone after only knowing or dating them under three years is very unwise imo.
Absolutely! I think you're too generous with the length of the honeymoon, though. It doesn't take THAT long.
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Old 03-30-2008, 01:50 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
13,012 posts, read 22,197,811 times
Reputation: 10211
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Absolutely! I think you're too generous with the length of the honeymoon, though. It doesn't take THAT long.
Umm... I think that it depends on ones age. In my twenties and thirties, my honeymoon periods were that long. Then I wised up and got a whole lot better at figuring out what kind of man I wanted in my life. I'm not a spring chicken any longer y'know!
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Old 03-30-2008, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,271,543 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
I'm not a spring chicken any longer y'know!
I think most of us here aren't. The spring chickens are out and about making mistakes; we're here sorting them out. Of course, in a while probably even we will be on our merry way to make some more.
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