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Actually you can get by without a car in most US Metropolitan areas. But we have no idea where the OP lives...
Since the OP says that the BF lives 25 miles away, I suspect that it isn't as easy as just "hopping on the bus".
For many years I lived in one of the closest suburbs of a major US city. I suppose that we could have gotten by without a car if we had to do that. It was a two mile walk to the closest bus route, which ran infrequently, from there you could have taken multiple transfers to reach various parts of the city. I am guessing that to get to parts of the city ten to fifteen miles away might take three different buses and two hours (including wait times). Now, it would be virtually impossible to get completely across the city, from the northern suburbs to the southern suburbs 25 miles away, unless you take an Uber (as the bus system does not extend to the outer suburbs). BTW, the last time my friend took an Uber that far, in my city, it cost $80.
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PS. I do agree that if you live and work near bus lines and/or are willing to ride your bike and/or walk long distances it is feasible to live without a car in many major cities.
Heck, I know someone who does almost everything by bike (drops off and picks up his two children from the day care center, gets to work eight miles away, does all of the errands/grocery shopping, etc.) because he is very energy conscious and wants to limit pollution. They normally only use their car if they are traveling to other cities.
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-12-2018 at 05:16 PM..
Reason: added PS
OP, I was married to a man for 17 years, in a great profession, highly educated (Phd), very accomplished - and he never owned a car and never drove. It worked out fine - lived in eight different states together.
The point is there are plenty of people who do not drive and do not own cars.
Some people in the U.S. are not aware of this and live in unawareness and ignorance of it.
I am not speaking to wherever you happen to live, OP - because you have not said where you live - but you did say your boyfriend took a bus for your first date to your residence. I'm just pointing out that it can be done. (not sure in your locale, maybe not in your locale)
Sometimes when people are in a relationship they move to homes/apts closer to each other and on bus/light rail routes - NOT 25 miles apart like you and your boyfriend are.
People who want to live without a car usually live on or very near bus lines and/or rail lines - and often choose to live in towns/cities which have very good bus systems. And as I mentioned earlier, there are tons of small and medium-sized college/university towns which have very good bus systems all over the U.S.
OP, I was married to a man for 17 years, in a great profession, highly educated (Phd), very accomplished - and he never owned a car and never drove. It worked out fine - lived in eight different states together.
The point is there are plenty of people who do not drive and do not own cars.
Some people in the U.S. are not aware of this and live in unawareness and ignorance of it.
I am not speaking to wherever you happen to live, OP - because you have not said where you live - but you did say your boyfriend took a bus for your first date to your residence. I'm just pointing out that it can be done. (not sure in your locale, maybe not in your locale)
Sometimes when people are in a relationship they move to homes/apts closer to each other and on bus/light rail routes - NOT 25 miles apart like you and your boyfriend are.
People who want to live without a car usually live on or very near bus lines and/or rail lines - and often choose to live in towns/cities which have very good bus systems. And as I mentioned earlier, there are tons of small and medium-sized college/university towns which have very good bus systems all over the U.S.
Financially you are way beyond your current partner. Are you okay with being the breadwinner in the family forever? Or will you end up having resentments down the road?
You should really find someone more you match. By chance is the BF good-looking and it's hard to break up? Or/and is the sex that amazing to give up?
Financially you are way beyond your current partner. Are you okay with being the breadwinner in the family forever? Or will you end up having resentments down the road?
You should really find someone more you match. By chance is the BF good-looking and it's hard to break up? Or/and is the sex that amazing to give up?
He doesn't want kids and I haven't thought about kids either so I'm not thinking about being a breadwinner in a family.
Though I am very happy with his looks and performance in bed, I'm not hypnotized by them. I love that we both have the same interests and if I have a project going on he's right there by my side supporting me and I support his interests too. I feel like we're a team but I guess financially we're not and he can't keep up due to lack of motivation, immaturity and I guess laziness.
It really sounds like the car isn't the only issue.
MissPip wants him to be something he's not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Pip
He doesn't want kids and I haven't thought about kids either so I'm not thinking about being a breadwinner in a family.
Though I am very happy with his looks and performance in bed, I'm not hypnotized by them. I love that we both have the same interests and if I have a project going on he's right there by my side supporting me and I support his interests too. I feel like we're a team but I guess financially we're not and he can't keep up due to lack of motivation, immaturity and I guess laziness.
It’s not “just” driving; round trips are time consuming. The non-drivers never seem to appreciate that you are investing twice as much time to accomplish 1 errand or event as they are.
Not to mention gas prices are rising, it’s summer = more people out & about & if you have to drive on the road with drivers like those in my area; you’re increasing you’re odds to be injured or killed in a crash exponentially.
Actually; I’ve driven in your area before & that’s exactly what you are doing.
I’m not saying he’s not a keeper but you are entitled to be annoyed without having to wonder if you’re just being nit-picky or unreasonable. You are, in fact; reasonably annoyed.
Best case: He’s clueless that you’re annoyed. He’s clueless that he’s imposing. He’s clueless that this is actually hard on you.
Worst case: He’s intentionally manipulating you & lying.
The “In the middle case”: He’s just gotten lazy & thinks (hopes) that this can continue for as long as possible. Which is still a little disturbing because he’s okay with you being used.
You need to show him you are not okay with being used! Try not agreeing to do this once or twice & see what happens. If you don’t do it does it not happen? Or does he manage to get himself to a car lot within a week or two?
I mean; it’s bothering you (it would bother me too).
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