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I would like to do this. I'm sleeping in the office which is completely decorated by him with his favorite sports team memorabilia. It would take me a whole day to box up all this stuff. Even then, he would take it as an insult, I'm sure.
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Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
If you are continuing to live there as part of an arrangement that benefits both of you, then I think it's worthwhile to speak up and negotiate this. I would understand a man not appreciating it, if it were overwhelmingly his house that he paid for and he is keeping, and you're contributing significantly less and just sort of saving up until you can move out, or something along those lines. But if he needs the help you bring to the table right now, I think that would be a small concession, to have you redecorate the room for a time without making permanent alterations, just so that you can feel more ok with your situation.
I would also be sure to handle his memorabilia with care and respect, regardless.
And possibly explain that this can help someone who has been in an entangled partnership for a long time, transition to being on their own. You aren't "getting comfortable" with the intention of outstaying your welcome. I could understand how such a move could be interpreted as such, if that makes sense?
SactoBankerGirl, how long are planning to live in his house, in his office? If it is only a week or two then I would leave everything up. But if it is longer than that I would definitely discuss taking down his memorabilia. I bet that he is planning on taking down the photographs that you have of your parents on the master bedroom dresser and all of the fluffy, feminine flower pillows from the bed.
Now, if the house is in both of you names, I would say that you would have every right to make one of the rooms into your bedroom and sanctuary (including adding a dead bolt).
If you are continuing to live there as part of an arrangement that benefits both of you, then I think it's worthwhile to speak up and negotiate this. I would understand a man not appreciating it, if it were overwhelmingly his house that he paid for and he is keeping, and you're contributing significantly less and just sort of saving up until you can move out, or something along those lines. But if he needs the help you bring to the table right now, I think that would be a small concession, to have you redecorate the room for a time without making permanent alterations, just so that you can feel more ok with your situation.
I would also be sure to handle his memorabilia with care and respect, regardless.
And possibly explain that this can help someone who has been in an entangled partnership for a long time, transition to being on their own. You aren't "getting comfortable" with the intention of outstaying your welcome. I could understand how such a move could be interpreted as such, if that makes sense?
In a way, I would be doing him a favor. I'm buying him out, so he will have to box all that up eventually anyway. I'm sure he wouldn't see it that way though. He doesn't want to leave anyway and this would be seen as me handing him his hat, so to speak.
In a way, I would be doing him a favor. I'm buying him out, so he will have to box all that up eventually anyway. I'm sure he wouldn't see it that way though. He doesn't want to leave anyway and this would be seen as me handing him his hat, so to speak.
Ah. Well in that case I absolutely do think you're justified in doing so.
But as I said, treat his stuff well. Do unto others, be the bigger person, take the high road, all that bumper sticker jazz. It's just good karma.
Perhaps inform him that you would very much like to redecorate the room that you are residing in, and that he has the choice of either boxing up his things or you will do it for him?
He's going to have to come to terms with the reality of the situation sooner or later.
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