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As someone in my 30s, I find that it's much nicer to let someone get to know me over time rather than scour my minimal to nonexistent social media presence. I'm tired of the instant gratification generation. I used to search extensively myself but I've kicked the habit. Besides social media still wont tell you what you really want to know about a person. It shows you their "best self" that they show the world, not the nuances of their character.
I'm a guy, and I do the same thing. I almost always try to search a prospect's social media. I usually don't even need to ask for their last name or anything. I can find them out from their first name and using the details they mentioned in their bio (school, work location, city/town of where they live, etc).
I don't really do it out of safety reasons, but more of a curiosity.
I do the same thing to save us both time. Sometimes I get additional details or pictures I don't like and I decide not to ask them out. I found out one girl had a kid after we went out once and didn't tell me. Then other girls only post their best photos and I can tell from facebook that they are about 20lbs heavier.
Well, my thread was more on the context of seeing that we have mutual friends that we share. The more...the more likely they'd be receptive. Like if you both had 20 mutual friends vs. 5 vs. 1. I recall seeing a few very attractive women that I knew I had seen in passing at parties, but never talked to ...or, would just miss the ones that they were at, and vice-versa. Some of us had a ton of mutual friends, so I'd think, "Meh, why not...how can she get creeped out if we have 5 or so friends, right?"
For me, I am not super likely to friend someone random on Facebook - even if we have mutual friends. I use that one for people I actually know, even if loosely. Facebook also hides the stuff from non-friends in messenger.
Instagram and Twitter for me are the place where I have a lot of strangers, and do not mind them.
So honestly you are probably better off searching for that person on Instagram and messaging them since many people are more "open" with contact from strangers there than they are on Facebook - if they are older. And if they are younger they probably barely use Facebook anyway.
All of my under-35-ish friends barely use Facebook. They all spent their time on Instagram. And under-30-ish use snapchat. And the 20-somethings I think are on something I don't know, I'm too old. LOL.
I do the same thing to save us both time. Sometimes I get additional details or pictures I don't like and I decide not to ask them out. I found out one girl had a kid after we went out once and didn't tell me. Then other girls only post their best photos and I can tell from facebook that they are about 20lbs heavier.
Funny you mention that...I had a woman I met at a convention that I later added online. We had chatted a few days. I was looking through her photos, and noticed that she liked to roller derby. I brought this up in chat...and she said, "Um, I'm creeped out right now" and I was like "why?" She said, "iThose pics were from 5 years ago...and that's known as FB creepin'"
I was like "Wow, I guess I'm out of the loop then, never heard of such a thing, I mean, you put yourself out there like that...it's silly to be creeped out about it"
I don't date women with irrational fears or extreme paranoia. lol This is probably kept her single for a long time.
Hi. I didn't want to start a new thread just to ask this, but, what's the best dating site for someone my age, I'm 46. Thanks.
I think a lot depends on your area. And what you're looking for.
I know people who swear by Tinder, and others who think it's just a hookupfest.
I hear a lot of people trash POF, but that's where I finally found my SO after going through OKC, Match, eHarmony and finally POF....
Your best bet is to look at what you can for free to see what the potential partners look like in your area.
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