Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
So you are saying that 50% of the marriages in the US do not pass "healthy relationship" test as defined by feminists? Do you have a definition of what a healthy relationship is?
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Breathe into the paper bag there, guy, I'm not even a feminist.
Marks of unhealthy relationships:
1. Physical violence and/or consent violations.
2. Constant fighting, high levels of stress.
3. Coldness, people who avoid each other.
4. Lies, secrets, cheating.
5. Pervasive disrespect or contempt for your partner.
6. Socially isolating your partner.
7. Badly handling insecurity by becoming paranoid, accusatory, suspicious (without cause.) Cheaters often do this to non-cheating partners.
8. Being a burden to one's partner, not pulling one's weight in terms of effort or support of each other and/or household.
9. Efforts to control one's partner, denying them agency and decision making.
10. Gaming a partner's self-esteem, strategically putting them down in subtle ways, making them feel that you're the only person who could ever love them, that they are not worthy of love, or that they have to prove their value to you.
11. Drug or alcohol abuse and related behaviors.
I'm sure there are more, but those are some of the more common ones I can think of. Frankly things that I think anyone is justified in leaving someone for, and no one should have to deal with.
Then there are incompatibilities. A very good example of that, is when one partner loses their sex drive (and it's not always the woman! I know men who have!) and the other partner still needs physical affection to feel loved. If the couple is not able to negotiate another solution like an open relationship or something, then that is reasonable grounds to break up so that people can get their needs met.
A HEALTHY relationship on the other hand, involves two people not acting like enemies or opponents, but pulling together as a team. Considerate to one another, having empathy for one another, and having each other's backs. Not controlling or judgmental, but loving and giving, and forgiving and compassionate to each other. Compatible in how they understand and show love, compatible in levels of sexual desire, and with a sincere desire to work through challenges in good faith. Also compatible in desired levels of together-time, and alone-time, core values, principles, and lifestyle habits.
Will all of these things always go off without a hitch? Of course not. But a healthy couple understands that they are only human and when difficulties arise, they cooperate to solve them. They do not take the road of being destructively right just to "win" over bridging the gap and repairing the damage to the relationship.
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