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You have to tell people what you expect of them. THEN ignore.
Some people are so dense, self-centered and/or clueless that they will assume you didn't get the message before they would ever believe you were just not acknowledging it.
Look at all the dozens of excuses lovesick people on this subforum make before they will believe a person is actually ignoring their attempts at connection.
I can only speak for myself, but replying would be a bit too much like offering an undeserved explanation for my taste. What she believes or does not believe is her problem, not his.
What she believes or does not believe is her problem, not his.
His reply is only about what HE wants, and that is no more contact. There is only one way to express that - say it, then follow through by ignoring her.
I would print out that message ^^ and burn it. Let all that go. You've gotten it off your chest, and you need to be freed from those thoughts forever. DO not send that.
Then send her this message:
"You may be a different person, but you are not a person I want in my life. Do not contact me again."
Then ignore or throw away any future messages she sends.
This.
OP, I'm not quite following the story. You say she "moved away" into the first home you two owned together? Moved away from where? How was it that your first home was vacant, when she decided to move in there? If she wasn't working, and there had been no divorce at that time, how was she paying for her living expenses? Don't torture yourself with assumptions or imaginings about affairs she may or may not have had. You have no idea about her personal life, so don't even go there in your imagination. Why do that to yourself? It's not conducive to mental health and happiness.
As for funerals, plenty of families don't have a funeral; only a memorial gathering, and it's not unusual for a family member to specify in advance that they don't want any kind of memorial or funeral after their passing.
I received a Happy Father's Day text message from my ex-wife this morning
I have avoided any contact with her over past few years and I have even told my mother, brother and sons if I proceed her in death, I do not want her at my funeral.
I suffered a lot of anguish and pain for years after she abandoned our marriage nearly 8 yrs ago.
She left me and our then 15 yr old son the day after his birthday to move away and pursue her own life which included living rent free in our first home we paid off, not working and taking cruise, trips and partying.
She cheated me out of money and lied and probably had affairs that I was not aware of as she partied and lived a free life leaving me to work and raise our youngest son.
She finally decided when she was ready and divorced me.
Since then she has says she sends birthday, father's day and ocassional messages (re: life events) but I never respond to any of them. Every time I get one, it is painful reopening of a wound that I try to keep covered so it will heal.
I remember when she left she said that she is not the same person that she used to be and that she doesnt feel the same love for me.
I try to think of the wife I had as dead. It would be easier to accept her being dead than what she is doing.
This is the message that I have not yet sent:
It was good until I heard from you. I have been a great father. I love my sons and I will always love the wife I married.
As you told me, you are not the same person I married. It took me awhile, but now I agree with that.You abandoned your commitment to our marriage and to motherhood when you left me and Deon to pursue your selfish desires. You have become a harlot; a woman of the street who lust and fornicates with other men.
No different that any other ***** of the street. I do not associate with women of the street.
PS: to put this in prospective we were married for over 20 years. I worked hard and always was loyal and committed to my family. i lived for them.
Do not reply to her message at all.
Also, please seek professional help to get past the pain and anger. It's been too long; and it is not healthy for you or your family.
OP, don't even open her texts and messages, just delete them and block all her numbers. She is nothing, no need to acknowledge her existence. The best revenge is having a normal and happy life. Move on and best of luck.
Thank you for wishing me a happy Father’s Day and leave it at that. From your message you’re still deeply hurt over the situation. You’re just digging up bones if you send that message.
OP, don't even open her texts and messages, just delete them and block all her numbers. She is nothing, no need to acknowledge her existence. The best revenge is having a normal and happy life. Move on and best of luck.
This ^^^. Your son is an adult now and there should be no major reason you need to communicate with your ex about him.
Is there a reason you have not blocked her number yet? If not, delete all messages and block any further ones.
Don't send that current text. Your ex is getting something out of continuing this communication and your best defense is to completely remove yourself.
Sorry this happened to you and your son.
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