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When people get an adrenaline rush from fear or anxiety, they have a "fight, flight or freeze" reaction.
Fight and flight are healthy, self-preserving reactions. You freeze.
Ive heard the term Fight or flight mode with me being 4 months pregnant scares me to death my heart starts racing so loud and fast I've heard it's unhealthy for the fetus i know you guys aren't Drs but my dr explained this to me to stress AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE while pregnant with all thats going on I'm sick to my stomach with stress
OP, want to know what's more scary than being alone with 3 kids? When he physically hurts one of them and it's your fault because you didn't take them OUT of the situation when you had the chance and you get to live with the knowledge Forever that your fear was more important to you than your children's safety.
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Originally Posted by sonnymarkjiz
If he is already being physical now, it'll continue to get worse. Choking you while you're pregnant? Really?? You don't want to raise your kids around that environment where they're seeing their father hitting their mom. That's gonna scar them for life, mentally. You should probably consider your options, either leave, or make sure you put your foot down that he needs to seek counseling or else you're 100% out of the door.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisarainey916
Womens shelter is a last resort i have family but they are drunks and addicts I can't move my kids in with them the only person I have is his moms support she'll let us move in just feels like such a burden , and i live in Cali, what would i need planned parenthood for?
You need planned parenthood so that in 2019 you are not writing complaining about being a single mother of four children, and in 2020 writing about how difficult it being a single mother of five children, etc.
Ive heard the term Fight or flight mode with me being 4 months pregnant scares me to death my heart starts racing so loud and fast I've heard it's unhealthy for the fetus i know you guys aren't Drs but my dr explained this to me to stress AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE while pregnant with all thats going on I'm sick to my stomach with stress
Another issue I face is I get extremely overwhelmed and stressed and anxious I've never been able to keep a job EVER whenever I have problems in my relationship I'm incapable of functioning properly I can barely eat or focus let a lone pay attention at work its caused a huge problem ill miss days of work at a time and eventually quit this has been going on for as long as i can remember its like mentally I cant handle stress my only concern is making sure we are ok
Unfortunately, you have children whose wellbeing is dependent upon you being able to keep it together, and falling apart in times of stress and adversity is no longer a luxury you have when you are a parent. The time for falling apart is over, and you need to do whatever it takes to get yourself into a place where you are able to be a good parent who doesn't put her children and herself in harm's way via exposure to violence.
You can't make sure your kids are okay if you can't handle supporting them. Mentally not being able to handle stress is really not an option when you are a parent, because stress is part and parcel of parenting, and how you handle it sets the tone for how your kids will respond to stress. If you can't function in the face of life stresses, you can't responsibly parent.
There is no reason a shelter should be a last resort. Beyond offering a roof over your head, they will provide you and your children with assistance that dysfunctional family members cannot. Please at least make the phone call to your local shelter or domestic violence hotline.
Nobody is going to advise you to stay with someone who is physically abusing you. The only question is where do you go? Also if you are going to have to rely on his support to stay afloat you might not want to do anything to get him fired from his job.
Another issue I face is I get extremely overwhelmed and stressed and anxious I've never been able to keep a job EVER whenever I have problems in my relationship I'm incapable of functioning properly I can barely eat or focus let a lone pay attention at work its caused a huge problem ill miss days of work at a time and eventually quit this has been going on for as long as i can remember its like mentally I cant handle stress my only concern is making sure we are ok
Avoidance won’t make things better. It will make them worse and force your every thought back to the things you are forcing yourself to try and ignore.
You’re choosing to make them an ever present issue by avoidance. You’ll never be free of worry until choose to address the problem and make a defined choice for yourself.
You should have thrown in the towel the first time he raised his hand to you. This is no environment to raise kids in. Call your local women's shelter. They have resources to help you. Love is not enough.
I wish people would consider this before they bring innocent children into this world. Op leave him and seek a women’s shelter ASAP. No matter what he says he isn’t going to change. Do not subject your children to this. Sooner then later he will abuse them too
Ive heard the term Fight or flight mode with me being 4 months pregnant scares me to death my heart starts racing so loud and fast I've heard it's unhealthy for the fetus i know you guys aren't Drs but my dr explained this to me to stress AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE while pregnant with all thats going on I'm sick to my stomach with stress
I know this is scary for you and most likely he is emotionally abusing you too. Most likely you are unsure of yourself and of course you are scared. Believe me he needs you more then you need him, he needs a punching bag. You are better then him and you have already taken the first step in asking for advice. Go to the shelter and explain what is happening to you and your children. They will help you without judgements. I’m also sorry for how harsh my last post was. Sweetheart you and your children deserve a better life.
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i know you guys aren't Drs but my dr explained this to me to stress AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE while pregnant with all thats going on I'm sick to my stomach with stress
