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I feel your pain. I'm married and from Northern Cal. Wife loves our current home in North Carolina but I can't stand being in this backward a$$ undiverse hick town. People think it's a big city here but it's small as blank.
Main reason I'm here is because I'm flat out priced out. Can't really afford it based on my job and salary. I left the country for 4 years and came back to an economic boom that blew up housing costs!
I know how you feel about the souless ness of LA. I lived there for a year or two and it actually grows on you.
If ur still there Id try and make as many friends as you can. Get involved with volunteering and connect with the community as much as you can. This is your key to happiness if you can't get out.
My husband is a nice guy. So this isn't a husband-bashing thread. I'll save that for in private. Just kidding.
We moved here to California for a number of reasons, but most of all, I saw us going nowhere in the northeast, and my middle son was constantly sick, and my family was all moving here, there and everywhere and floating away from our previous epicenter (New Jersey), and DH's parents were offering us a very inexpensive rental in the Los Angeles area...and just at that time, my husband lost his job due to downsizing. So it seemed like the perfect storm. It was almost like God was telling us to move, so to speak. Every single event conspired for us to move.
I knew even before we left how much I would miss rain, water, lakes, seasons, etc.--I'm a real bumpkin, love fairs, silly seasonal outdoorsy things and the like. Farms...that sort of thing. But...I really didn't see any other options at the time. And anyway, southern California...how bad could it be...right? Warm weather all year round? Who on earth would say no to that?
I was NOT counting on the degree of homesickness I would have, and the degree to which this sort of soulless-feeling environment would affect me. (I can't really explain that sentence so I'll just leave it as it is.) In fact, that's how I found Citydata. I was Googling for other homesick people, and how to get over it.
We have been here three years. I long so much to move somewhere that's just not LA. I still don't feel at home here...it's not a warm (emotionally warm) feeling place at all...I don't know...I don't want to get into all that...it's not really the point...The point is, my husband is in the music industry, doesn't feel he can move anywhere I'd like to move, doesn't believe that there are jobs anywhere else in the country besides New York or L.A., and most of all, is a soCal native and therefore, I know he never wants to leave.
I am stuck and I am angry and sad and lonely...
I have been begging him to consider Oregon. It seems like a nice place to live. I've brought up other places in the past. He has an excuse for every one. For instance, he said "no" to North Carolina because it isn't a blue state.
I don't want to live and die here. I miss an environment that feels homey, neighborhood-like and has a lot of soul and a lot of history. Here, everybody seems like a transient, practically. Everybody is from somewhere else. I haven't met all that many soCal natives. It's kind of bizarre.
What should I do? I'm tired of feeling sad. I try every single day to make this life fabulous. Every single morning I wake up saying to myself that I'm going to LOVE my day and love where I am. And it's not like it's all bad. There's a lot of beauty here, to be sure. But it's not home and I know in my soul it never will be and I just want to...go somewhere that's home.
There are other places in the Los Angeles area that you might get more of what you are looking for. Maybe consider having more of an open mind in finding somewhere else to live in the LA area.
You are right,though. Lots of LA feels soul-less. I hate the Valley, but I like the South Bay - around the beach area.
Some little towns like Placentia in Orange County have more of a neighborhood like atmosphere with a history. Same with areas of Torrance in the South Bay. El Segundo is a little town that is has a very neighborhood, old-fashioned feel. There are other areas around that are like this also.
The thing about LA is it is very diverse. You can find almost any type of environment you want within a relatively short distance.
Last edited by Just A Guy; 03-16-2016 at 11:33 AM..
I'm an LA guy ant it's a massive city. Where are you living? You can literally find anything for anyone here. There are definitely neighborhoods with the homey slower paced feel, like El Segundo, Mar Vista, Culver City, parts of Pasadena, areas in the South Bay, Santa Clarita, etc, etc.
I grew up in the West LA area close to Venice and had a blast growing up. I love where I grew up.
Simi Valley is a redneck city but close to LA. It feels like NC there. I won't go into specifics because some people here will call me mean but once you go there and look at the people, you'll agree.
There are other places in the Los Angeles area that you might get more of what you are looking for. Maybe consider having more of an open mind in finding somewhere else to live in the LA area.
You are right,though. Lots of LA feels soul-less. I hate the Valley, but I like the South Bay - around the beach area.
Some little towns like Placentia in Orange County have more of a neighborhood like atmosphere with a history. Same with areas of Torrance in the South Bay. El Segundo is a little town that is has a very neighborhood, old-fashioned feel. There are other areas around that are like this also.
The thing about LA is it is very diverse. You can find almost any type of environment you want within a relatively short distance.
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I miss an environment that feels homey, neighborhood-like and has a lot of soul and a lot of history. Here, everybody seems like a transient, practically. Everybody is from somewhere else. I haven't met all that many soCal natives. It's kind of bizarre.
