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Old 06-29-2018, 01:10 PM
 
24,559 posts, read 18,248,333 times
Reputation: 40260

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Well, most people keep their mouth shut when they have a different opinion and sit with the in laws at the dinner table. It has to be really extreme for someone to mouth off.


If ONE gf is rude to the parents, she might be an ahole.
If SEVERAL gfs have been rude to your parents, thats telling about the parents.


What do they say about the common denominator? ... the parents...
Yep. I’d do the same thing if I’m at a dinner table and the host starts a jews, minorities, gays, immigrants rant. I’d just create a sudden emergency where I had to leave rather than totally burn the bridge. If my SO tried to defend that opinion, they’d get the red eject button.

My stepfather was a 24x7 Fox News guy. He mistreated and psychologically abused my mother and physically abused her as his dementia set in. My sister kicked him out of her house one Christmas and that’s 2,500 miles from where they lived. She had written him a letter providing the ground rules. He crossed the line once too many times. I had to limit my contact. I’d be enraged after 30 minutes.

 
Old 06-29-2018, 01:28 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,758 posts, read 19,968,204 times
Reputation: 43163
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
YEP, #1 and #3...any woman that's single...it's they either have some kind of anxiety issue (dealt with that) bipolar, panic attacks, PTSD, etc etc etc.

How old are you and what age range are the single women who have those issues?
 
Old 06-29-2018, 01:33 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,217 posts, read 107,883,295 times
Reputation: 116153
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
Well, whatever we do, let’s make 100% certain to make every attempt to deflect the blame away from the innocent gf and onto OP and his parents. That’s a great approach.
No, what we did, is ask the OP for more info, because it's too difficult to evaluate the gf in the situation he gave.

But the OP is giving us crickets in response to that request. He also back-pedaled, and said that particular gf didn't have a personality disorder, but others have had.
 
Old 06-29-2018, 01:40 PM
 
3,926 posts, read 2,034,852 times
Reputation: 2768
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
How old are you and what age range are the single women who have those issues?
I'm in my 40s, the women, they can range from 30s, all the way to their 50's. The 50 year old woman I dated had PTSD.
 
Old 06-29-2018, 01:47 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,758 posts, read 19,968,204 times
Reputation: 43163
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
YEP, #1 and #3...any woman that's single...it's they either have some kind of anxiety issue (dealt with that) bipolar, panic attacks, PTSD, etc etc etc.

I used to be empathetic and try to understand the woman I'm dating's issues, but now...it may start being a deal breaker when I hear, "Yeah, I spoke with my therapist..." in a conversation. lol

Also, everyone is overmedicated with pills to treat such things. "Yeah, I had to refill my anti-anxiety pills today"

If you start hearing that kind of talk on a third or 4th date, time to launch.
Most Americans I know are on pills and have some sort of personality disorder or at the very least ADHD. Not just single people.


If you are over 40 and look for someone with no baggage and no (obvious) problems, you'll might end up looking forever.
 
Old 06-29-2018, 02:13 PM
RJ_
 
743 posts, read 392,413 times
Reputation: 814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
No, what we did, is ask the OP for more info, because it's too difficult to evaluate the gf in the situation he gave.
I see. So there's plenty of info to condemn OP and his evil, racist, alt-right, hatemongering parents, but there's just not enough info to criticize the perfect gf. The inability and outright refusal by certain posters to give objective, unbiased advice is discouraging.
 
Old 06-29-2018, 02:26 PM
 
1,063 posts, read 696,545 times
Reputation: 1423
All other issues aside. I believe Geography has a big influence on the quality of mates you will have access to.

Consider moving to a different city/state. I don't know much about SC.
 
Old 06-29-2018, 02:29 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,217 posts, read 107,883,295 times
Reputation: 116153
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
I see. So there's plenty of info to condemn OP and his evil, racist, alt-right, hatemongering parents, but there's just not enough info to criticize the perfect gf. The inability and outright refusal by certain posters to give objective, unbiased advice is discouraging.
Not quite. The example he gave gave perhaps the wrong impression, an impression of the parents that was probably unintended by the OP. Whether or not it was accurate has not been addressed by the OP. So we don't know. But if he wants us to discuss his gf's, or specifically his latest ex, we need better examples, in order to be able to give objective advice. The info simply isn't there, to provide a basis for advice regarding the gf.

This is quite common here--to ask an OP for further info. "More info needed" is a common refrain on these threads. It doesn't mean the members are incapable of giving straightforward advice. And notice that the OP has declined to respond to requests asking for more info on the ex-gf. That doesn't help clear things up.
 
Old 06-29-2018, 02:34 PM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,671,651 times
Reputation: 19661
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
I see. So there's plenty of info to condemn OP and his evil, racist, alt-right, hatemongering parents, but there's just not enough info to criticize the perfect gf. The inability and outright refusal by certain posters to give objective, unbiased advice is discouraging.
THe information he gave us was that his parents were talking about immigration and antisemitism and his girlfriend subsequently told him he thought they were racist. He also told us that two other girlfriends had problems with his parents.

That’s pretty much all the information we have, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that the fault might lie with the parents if they are bringing up immigration and antisemitism at the dinner table. How and why was this topic even up for discussion? Is this something they normally discuss with outside parties?
 
Old 06-29-2018, 02:38 PM
 
1,063 posts, read 696,545 times
Reputation: 1423
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
THe information he gave us was that his parents were talking about immigration and antisemitism and his girlfriend subsequently told him he thought they were racist. He also told us that two other girlfriends had problems with his parents.

That’s pretty much all the information we have, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that the fault might lie with the parents if they are bringing up immigration and antisemitism at the dinner table. How and why was this topic even up for discussion? Is this something they normally discuss with outside parties?
Plenty of relationships work when the parents are racist.

In and of itself that isn't the core issue in modern day Western relationships which aren't necessarily family centric.
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