Relationship has taken a 180 in the last two weeks... (female, love, single)
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I think that's what the OP wanted to see in her, but obviously Superwoman is a fictional character.
So what he is left with is a regular human woman who, in fact, is flawed and perhaps cannot handle what life has thrown at her, or what she invited into her life. Maybe she was one of the unlucky few who have an "oops" pregnancy or maybe she SHOULD have known better. The OP really doesn't know. All he has is HER version of events.
What he has to decide now is whether or not he wants to share his life with this person who has so much drama in hers. Or maybe she's already decided that for him.
They weren't long together, so I am guessing getting over him wasn't that painful.
I wonder why a new mom of a one month old baby at the time when she met OP has the time and nerve to even want to date but what do I know. Seems like she is super woman, juggling so many tasks.
I'm sorry if it wasn't clear, but I said she had a 9 month old baby when I met her. He wasn't a month, he's now closer to a year and a half.
I think that's what the OP wanted to see in her, but obviously Superwoman is a fictional character.
So what he is left with is a regular human woman who, in fact, is flawed and perhaps cannot handle what life has thrown at her, or what she invited into her life. Maybe she was one of the unlucky few who have an "oops" pregnancy or maybe she SHOULD have known better. The OP really doesn't know. All he has is HER version of events.
What he has to decide now is whether or not he wants to share his life with this person who has so much drama in hers. Or maybe she's already decided that for him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie
Some women cannot handle being without a man in their life and when one relationship ends they're on the hunt ASAP, babies and children be damned.
Again to clarify, she didn't jump right into a new relationship, he was 9 months old when I met her. She left the cheating ex 4 months into pregnancy.
And what person doesn't have some drama in their life? How many of us are perfect. I wasn't fooling myself when I met her, these last 7 months - things were going great, there was no drama between us - we even joked about making up a fight since we didn't have any. Then the ex threw a wrench in it creating some drama, and yes she did get in a car accident that caused some back pain, but is that really causing drama?
This just doesn't seem that sudden to me. OP describes more like a cooling off in increments, leading into arguments and dissatisfaction.
I think after the honeymoon stage neither really liked the other all that much.
I'm sorry, OP.
Not sure how you came to that conclusion as I said it's been pretty much great since but a few weeks ago. At the beginning of the month we were both very excited that she had the summer off and were gonna be able to spend more time together, and plan a vacation.
I don't understand why anyone would put up with this. You are in a newish relationship with someone, everything is going nicely and then all of a sudden, a number of things come up and the other person begins treating you poorly, being distant, and whatever else. And you have not done anything to deserve that. Why worry about it? Why stay? Why wonder aloud if they will morph back into that person that you saw in the honeymoon phase? Hint: they won't.
Writing it off as the medication, or drama with the mentally ill babydaddy or whatever else could have brought this on is useless. She treats you like garbage when stressful things-- things that you had no part of-- come into her life. That's your future.
And I don't know exactly what what wrong or what to think. A little background...
I met this woman back in November, so almost 8 months we've been together. She had a 9 month old baby boy. She shared 50/50 custody with the father - whom she left while pregnant, because he was caught cheating. That relationship was a whirlwind from what she told me, it happened very fast and she was pregnant within 3-4 months (by accident). The ex is bipolar from what she explained and though I was weary of an ex being in the picture, they seemed to be handling everything well.
We took things slow, and got to know each other, becoming "official" in late February. We were spending quite a bit of time together, she'd usually invite me over for dinner once during the week and then we'd spend Friday night, Saturday, and some of Sunday together. We get along great, have fun, laugh, sexually compatible, enjoy being with each other, and generally just don't have any issues. I've been great with her son, and sincerely really enjoy being with him. She's been gushing about how great I am with him, and how much he likes me. How great of a boyfriend I am, etc. etc. About 6 weeks ago we were even joking about how we haven't even had any type of fight or anything yet. Things were going about as well as I could wish, and she seemed similarly smitten.
Fast forward to about early May, she had been in a car accident back in January and has been going to therapy since then for neck & back pain. The doctors talked her into getting some type of epidural steroid shot for the pain. After a few weeks she was a bit more withdrawn, but nothing serious. Then she noticed her monthly cycle wasn't ending, and she said she was feeling more withdrawn and not herself. She read up, and I guess these were some of the more serious side effects, and can mess with your hormones. She even made a comment to me about how long was I going to put up with this, because she felt she hadn't been treating me the same, and wasn't at her best. I told her I understand, and I'm not going anywhere.
Fast forward again to earlier this month, she had got a subpoena from the ex that he was trying to get out of his support payments. I know this worried her a bit, but it didn't seem like anything thing she couldn't handle money-wise. So a few weeks back we had our first little fight. She had been over my house and was kind of getting on me for not getting some stuff done outside with the trees/repairs. I had explained I had been talking to contractors and that they weren't getting back to me, even as I kept following up. I told her to get off my back, because she kept harping about it. OK, not a big deal - we moved on. Then the next weekend she and I had another little moment of bickering. We had been hanging out that night at my house, and she again seemed very distant, as she was looking at her phone and watching videos of her son. She asked me about heating up some food, and I think she could tell I was annoyed, so I told her I was upset that she was being distant and seemed withdrawn. That she was buried in her phone. I asked her to just let me know if she's gonna be on her phone for a while when she does that, so I'm not sitting there wondering what's wrong. She got annoyed and said "so I have to tell you every time I pick up the phone?", but I think she was missing the point that I was just upset that she hasn't been as warm and inviting as usual.
So all that was about 2 weeks ago, since then she hasn't made any attempt to see each other when we normally would, and she's been way more distant. Last Friday was the only time we've really hung out since all this, and that was for a concert we had scheduled. That night she was still not as warm as usual, but we had a good time and were kissing. Now this whole week, she's hardly said much to me, so I finally got a hold of her last night to see what was up. I asked her how she was doing, how she was feeling. Which again, she was just being pretty unresponsive. She said she was filling out the paper work for the subpoena that had to be in today. I asked her when we were going to see each other again, and she says, I don't know...we haven't really been getting along lately. I was pretty stunned and didn't know what to say, other than I know we had a few little moments a few weeks ago, but nothing serious...then she's like, I don't know, maybe it's just me. So I just left it off and said, ok, well, when you want to talk, I'll be here.
Honestly, I'm really hurt because everything had been going wonderful and we both had been really excited about a future together. Now I feel like she's ready to end it...but why? I mean the arguments were pretty basic, no screaming or yelling. I know she worries a lot about the baby when he's with the father, she misses him, and she's worried about the court date. Also, who know if the shots are still effecting her. It just came out of left field to me, because she had never indicated any unhappiness with me, only how much she adored me. If anything, she was worried about how long I'd put up with her stuff. I don't know what to do or think at this point, other than to give her space?
Give her space.Her mind is on the fact that her ex is trying to get out of paying her child support that she DOES need even though you think might think it's not a big deal "but it didn't seem like anything thing she couldn't handle money-wise." You don't really know her financial situation.She is worried sick about that and her health.
Op, she's dealing with a lot of crud and baggage from a bad marriage with her ex. Not to mention she had just had a baby.
If I were her, I'd be stressed out too. I think you are ignoring a lot of obvious. You're making everything about you and not even taking into consideration the stuff she's dealing with. I'm surprised she started dating as early as she did.
She's clearly not in the position to nurture a relationship with a new man.
Yes...she doesn't have time. You have been backburnered. Just let her know that you are there for her.
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